Leave Him For Me
by Inuyasha Cooks
Summary: What's good? What's wrong? After a chance meeting with an attractive stranger Rin walks a trapeze road between right and wrong and is forced to get acquanited with the difference between these two grave opposites. But life isn't black and white...SR, AU
1. Trumpet Drag

A/N: Okay, well, I know that this will kind of seem out of character and everything, especially with Sesshoumaru's being sort of...not mean, but he's only like that because I don't really ever remember him being nasty to Rin. And, this IS the first chapter. This chapter is kind of basically like a beginning blur, and then we go into more detail as we get along, but this just gets the ball rolling. It'll start to seem more "Inuyasha-y" I guess as it goes along.

Well, this story came about because I was reading this fic in which Rin marries Kohaku after running away from Sesshoumaru; Sesshoumaru still loves her and follows her as her life spreads out. Anyway, Kohaku dies, and Sesshoumaru and Rin begin their relationship again. I don't remember its name. I also heard of a song titled "Leave Him For Me." There you have it. I also started to get a dim perception of how a more mature Rin would relate to Sesshoumaru, and also how a grown-up Kohaku would act.

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LEAVE HIM FOR ME

_Ch. 1 - Trumpet Drag_

It was hot, August, the low afternoon. Brownstones, box gardens, small gated yards, cement, bricks, pigeons. People lolled on their porches. A small chilly breeze was coming in from down the street, but it was nothing compared to the stifling heat. Rin had her gaucho pants hiked up around her knees in the little yard outside of the apartment, gardening. A jar of lemonade was sitting idly on the stone porch, along with a watering can and a spade. Sango and Kohaku's laughing voices rang from the house like sonic scratch. It seemed comfortable inside.

Down the street someone was walking, you could hear the steps from miles away on a clear afternoon like this...a dog bayed across the road. A car buzzed by. Normal everyday things, none of them seeming too attention worthy. Kohaku let out a _girlish_ yelp, and Sango cackled- she must have been torturing him in there...Sango was a scream.

She tossed her hair out of her face, stood straight up looking at the vines. She happened to look up for a minute, and at the moment she did a shock passed through her, tingled like leftover electricity on her skin. She hadn't noticed the figure before, but it was hard not to; he stood out red on blue. He was fair-skinned, pale-haired, but his suit was stark black and his walk was a slow stride that spoke volumes about innermost confidence. So you'd sum it up, say, he was good _lookin'_. She got nervous; she always did, maybe attraction generally worked that way.

Maybe a minute passed, and his steps were closer. She tried to look at him askance with a criminal's shadowy eyes, trying to steal passing glance, trying to look nonchalant. Lookin' good, alright, with his face glistening wet sweat. She felt another spark flare; she tried to look at his outfit in better detail. The suit was slick and black; he looked like he could move like a bullet in that thing, and he wore a purple tie to top it off. That was funny, but hey, there's no accounting for taste.

Rin figured he would just pass by, so she busied herself with her own work for a little bit. The steps stopped- she looked around. It was odd to realize that he had broken his proud stride and stopped right in front of her, under the shade of the little tree. It was boggling to try to reason out why he'd chosen to stop here of all places- there were trees all over the place. He looked like he was cooling down. It was damn hot, and he looked _tired_. He didn't notice at all the electricity that swelled in her eyes, traveled in the veins of her hands, passed from him to her. Something in her heart was hooked like a fish. She looked up at him. She decided it must have been pretty uncomfortable to wear all black in high-nineties weather. "Are you thirsty?" she asked, looking at him in the face- something was there that she was drawn to.

His eyes moved up quickly to scan her, but his face bore the impassivity of slow coming- like he was taking his time. A moment passed where he seemed to be gathering something from her, apparition on the steps. "Yes."

"Do you like lemonade?" she asked, turning to the jar on the steps. She'd already drunk from it, but if he minded, he would say so.

"Yes." His words were slow and stable, rolled out from decades of slow movement, of gathered energy. He was like something that came out of nowhere but had been generating for eons- but he was in exactly the right place at the right time. She picked up the big jar with both hands and handed it to him. He drank conservatively. "Thank you," he said, passing it back.

"No problem," she smiled, "You looked thirsty." She was searching for things to say- how do you keep a conversation about absolutely nothing running long enough to capture interest? It's easy enough to begin talking to strangers, but it's hard to reel them in on talk. "It's really hot. Do you work around here?"

"Yes. Down there," he said, nodding his head slightly to indicate. His posture was dignified.

With this ghostly figure on her doorstep, the scenery had changed. Perfume from the plants was rising. It felt like heavy velvet, crashing a train. Dizzying. "What as?" she asked, holding the jar.

Something passed in his face, but it was something that had suddenly made him very subtly _lean_ toward her. "Daytime manager of a law office." She listened to each word, because something in his manner told her he didn't suffer fools, and that he was only answering her questions because he _wanted_ to.

Lofty attitude or not, "daytime manager" didn't sound so hot. "Oh really? Is that exciting?" she asked, confused as to why you would want to do that.

"No," he answered. His voice was full of peace and serenity- it was still, full, and came from someplace strong. It wasn't hard for Rin to connect with strangers. Nobody believes in soul mates any more either, but something in him was hard to ignore. That something went beyond his looks and reached straight into her brain, grabbed it hostage.

"O-oh," she laughed, stuttering a little, "I guess it pays well?"

"Yeah," he said. If you really looked hard, you could see traces of amusement in his face; that was good, since he seemed so solemn.

"Are you a lawyer?"

"No," he said.

"Did you major in law?" she asked. Even with all the one-sided questioning, she didn't feel as though it were a one-sided conversation.

"Business," he corrected. His head moved slightly toward her, she realized he was gesturing for more to drink.

"Oh- oi, it's really hot," she said, giving him the jar.

After a swig he answered, "Yes."

"You don't mind if I drink from the same?"

"It's your jar, do what you like with it," he said.

Rin smiled at him. He had the right attitude, the right swing about him. A breeze picked up. She dropped the watering can- actually it slid off her wrist, because she had slipped it around her arm like a bracelet. "Oh-" she laughed, hoping he didn't think she was a big idiot. He didn't seem to. He wasn't nicey-nice, but he didn't seem judgmental...maybe she was noticing all these good things about him because her brain had high hopes. "How much longer do you have to walk?"

"Just until I meet the train," he said. The train was a long ways off...

"That's like twenty minutes," she answered with concern, as if reminding him.

"Well how much longer will you be working?"

She looked at her own hands, powdered with dark soil and sticks. "Not too much longer," she said, with the sun behind her, "I meant I just feel bad because you have to walk so long. Twenty minutes feels like a day."

"I don't let the weather change my mood," he answered, as if dusting off the comment. He was very strong, unwavering. She noticed that for a moment, and then she noticed- he had at least a foot on her. He had a stony, marble face, not showing much emotion but if you read into it, you would see wells of it.

Rin smiled at him again. "That's good." There was a pause. She let her eyes drift up to his and as soon as they did she regretted it. Something in his eyes made her completely nervous, shaken up. It was like looking into something you don't want to know about. It wasn't like she could break the glance, though, it would seem like she didn't want to look at him. "I mean, I know how shallow it sounds, everybody complaining about the weather," she half-stammered like a fool. A cat ran by, and she was never more grateful to see a cat in her life because it provided an excuse to take her eyes away. Confidence was okay to put on, but it was much better to truly hold. "Ah!" she yelped.

His attention was semi-caught; his eyes had moved to the corners. Rin looked with concern past his shoulder. "Nothing. I thought that cat was going to get steam-rolled by a car." He looked at her half-curiously.

"Ha- I wonder when it'll get cooler," she asked the street.

She did a stupid thing and tried again to hold direct eye contact. It was surprising the effect it had on her. It seemed as though the same gale had hit him, but he just knew how to stand his ground. It was almost agitating to look into those stony calm eyes, like looking into the eye of a horrendous storm. "It's time I go," he said, almost demanding a response- every nerve tingled for one, but no words could express the breadth of its release.

"Oh, really? Well, something about you makes me want to see you again," she said. It was like the secret cat was accidentally let out of the bag. Then her energy just withdrew, like it had surprised itself in going that far. He paused, tall reality of him, like wind blowing through big trees, face blank, eyes illegible...Then something else came over him, but she was too confused to analyze what it was, and then he just nodded and walked steadily away.

She bit her own tongue in confusion, tapped her foot. How much can you draw from a three-minute conversation? It happens a certain way, you can say enough to pass for eons.

When he left, she didn't even turn to watch him go. She just looked down at the watering can, baffled, tremulous, surprised, and wholly weary. A strong feeling of regret, or something like it in a lovelier shade, came down and washed over her like a wave. Or maybe the wave had been that electricity, and now it had spit her back on the shores of reality. She wondered at herself and partly wished she had never said that, not because it wasn't true but because she didn't want him to take it.

If you looked at it in print it seemed like a normal enough sentence to say, but there was something about it that set it off. It might have been the swelling circumstances, or the weather. Or, you could reason it this way: she had been caught in a tempest of attraction, and it had stirred up some underlying truth, some dreamy implication of something hidden, lofty, and powerful. There had been something in her voice and the way she looked at him. Something a bit inappropriately sensual had come out in those words. She hoped it hadn't made her sound eager or easy or even worse stupid and young. She'd often griped to herself about how hard these things were. It blew up in her face.

She had been thrown to the dogs of reality, and now she realized that she had shared a jar of lemonade with a good lookin' man, said some things that were too dark, forceful, and secret to be anything but implied, and was now wondering what to do while a kid walked by.

Not to say she was in love with him or anything, but there was something strong brewing there. Something that she had felt like a gust of wind. She didn't know if other people felt this powerfully about anything, but she surmised so. Maybe. Or maybe not. But there was something there...She knew one thing though, she never wanted to see _him_ again. That would be _inexplicably_ embarrassing. She'd have it on her mind forever.

She pulled out some little ugly grass, tried to shake everything that had just happened out of her mind and laugh about it nervously. But nothing worked unless she was willing to spend every moment busy. She collected her things and walked up the steps back into the house.

It was cool in here. The white walls were glistening cleanly, colonial style. A table with flowers was lit by the sun. Kohaku met her in the hallway with his bushy hair and his baggy yoga pants and not much else on, except for a black band on his wrist. Something like embarrassment swelled in her and she tried to keep her mind off it by talking to him. "Hey Rin," he said scratching his head, "Thanks for doing all that work."

"Oh it wasn't anything," she said laughing small. She slipped off her shoes by the door.

"Hey, who was that guy you were talking to out there?" he asked, passing into the hallway with her. "I stopped by the window to get those bills and I saw you talking to some guy. He bother you?"

Oh, God that again. "Oh no, he was nice. It was really hot out and he looked thirsty, so I shared my lemonade with him," she said laughing again.

He stopped, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. "You drank out of the same _cup_ as him!?" he exclaimed, stupefied; his arms sank to his sides, then he flung them out, "Baby, he coulda had _AIDs_!"

She paused hesitantly. "I mean...I think he would have _told_ me if he had AIDs," she said, blinking, swigging the last of it before putting it in the sink. "Or he would have just refused."

Kohaku's eyes popped out. "_Man_, Rin, you just amaze me every day!"

She laughed and turned back to him. She unrolled her pants so that they hung loose around her calves. "What we doing for dinner?" she asked, whirling around him lightly to swing into the living room.

"Sango's gonna make us meatloaf, that is if you don't feel like sharing it with an AIDsy hobo," Kohaku teased, letting out his hoarse and high-pitched laugh.

She just turned around and smiled at him as they crossed into the sunny hardfloor white couch living room. Dust covered the T.V. That guy was still on her mind though, a not so distant memory of something very real, not at all the dusky ghost-memories that become of most things. She was nervous, she'd be out again at the same time tomorrow and if he came around again, she'd have to learn her fate connecting him. She moved her hair back, antsy, and turned to Kohaku, "Do you think Sango needs any help?"

"After what we done for her, let her do it herself," he said, something attractive in his tone, but after she smiled lopsided he shrugged. "I mean, even if she does, stay here with me a while," he continued, "We can read those magazines, anyway, or see what's on tee vee."

"Okay," she agreed, sitting on the couch opposite the T.V. Kohaku looked relieved to have gotten what he wanted. They sat down until dinner, and even though it was peaceful and sunny here, thunder was still rolling somewhere in the distance, and it came like the premonition of something powerful and impossible to move aside.

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Rin had almost forgotten about it the next morning, and moved around like normal sunshine. Sango hadn't stayed the night, but she had drunk with them until it was late- "And don't be bad!" she said before she left. Sango was a scream. Yesterday had only come back to her in the most unexpected moments, and filled her with a nervous sickness at the bottom of her stomach and a quick and confused urge to get it out of her head. She could have actually gone out to water the plants earlier, but maybe she _wanted_ to be there and _that_ was what made her nervous. She had breakfast with Kohaku, Kohaku left for work, she cleaned the house, talked to her sister on the phone, then made some plans for the weekend, then listened to the radio. She made more lemonade.

She had the radio on, that chicka-boom rhythm of "Hey look yonder comin', Over that railroad track/ Hey look yonder comin', Over that railroad track/ It's the Orange Blossom Special...Bringin' my baby back..." She tried to move through thoughtlessly. It was like being a kid and making a bad kick in soccer and being sore about it after. She reasoned that she thought too much about things.

Around three or three-thirty she rounded up the gardening gear and headed outside into the blazing sun. There was no promise of fall today, except in the undercurrent. Today it was shorts. It was so damn hot that it felt like being next to a furnace that you were bolted to for life. You couldn't escape it, and not even the shade offered respite. Maybe tempers were high because of the weather.

She started to work, and then not a little bit later, she heard the steady tap of walking shoes. Her heart almost tripped over itself trying to skip a beat, and another shock of recognition mixed with the annoyance of high feelings. Today he was wearing a black suit, white shirt- he looked like a Beatle with an ivory tie. He didn't wear sunglasses, she liked that about him, too. All this hopeless anxiety, just to decide whether or not she had been an idiot yesterday- because she wanted to impress someone you talked to for five minutes. She knew no one would understand if she told them, but just because her feelings were stupid didn't mean they weren't real. When he came near, he seemed to acknowledge her, and then he stopped directly at her gate and leaned against it. She looked him over again. "Hi," she smiled.

"Hello," he answered, with the underlying tone of a grin. Everything he said, you had to really look for it down in the grooves. Like tearing through a dark amazon jungle.

"Are you thirsty?"

"Yes."

"I have more lemonade," she answered, giving him his own cup. In almost a snap, she figured he wouldn't mention yesterday. She grinned at him. "I hadda give you your own cup, because my boyfriend was complaining about it yesterday." She just kept on doing things she regretted- she wished the words hadn't flown out of her mouth.

There was a sudden change in his demeanor. It appeared subtle but it was drastic. "Oh really?" he asked. It wasn't offended, though- it was more- competitive. Aw shit.

"Yeah, I live with him," she said, sighing inwardly. It made her look as though she was implying something by mentioning Kohaku, but as she looked at him leaning against her fence, his expression became serene again and the worry left her. "How was it getting home yesterday?"

"Fine," he said, shrugging. "Hot."

"It's a little cooler in the morning, not much, though," she said. She put down her tools, moved back her hair, and sat down on the porch. He stood against the gate, seeming cool in his indifference. She felt more at leisure to look him over. He had a straight, regular nose, light brown eyes, weird colored hair, fair skin. And he dressed super nice. "Hey, where do you work? I don't remember a law office being there."

"Down there- a red brick building," he answered, "There aren't any signs." He seemed chattier today, and that wasn't saying much considering he was about as vocal as a turtle.

"Do you have weekends off?" she asked. The sun made her squint.

"Yes."

"That's good. Where do you live?"

"Upper East Side."

"Wow, for serious? That's kind of far," she said. "Do you have any plans for the weekend?"

"Not as of yet."

"Do you dance?"

"Depends."

"Do you drink?"

"Who doesn't."

"Smoke?"

"Sure."

"Do you ever come around here?"

"If I'm invited."

She smiled up at him, then bit her lip. "You look hot. I'd invite you in, but..."

"Your boyfriend," he said, finishing her sentence. The way he said it, it was as though he was above it- as though "boyfriend" was a concept that he personally transcended. It was intimidating to think this, but she kept on anyway. It wasn't like she didn't want to.

She paused and looked at him, but then she laughed. "Yes." He understood, at least, and he didn't take it personally. "But do you want to sit down?"

He examined the stoop for a moment, and she took his silence as a yes, and undid the latch. Rin's mind was confident. She began to see it as nothing more than becoming friends. If she was falling into some kind of trap, she'd decide what to do...He came inside the small yard and sat down next to her, one step above her actually to accommodate his height. "Where is he now?" He reclined like a dissatisfied cat.

"He's at work."

"Hmm. Does he normally work this late?"

"Yeah, until six." Anyone might have thought that she was giving out her information to the adultery bureau of the Lying Hearts brigade, but Rin was confident in her ability to maneuver out of a sticky situation..."Except on Tuesdays and weekends."

"Hmm," he answered, drinking more.

"I work, but only sometimes," she mused, looking up at the rooftops and the sky and the windows, "When they need me at Freddy's, that's a bar...Or when the secretary at my friend's office is sick."

"How often is that?"

She laughed. "Too often for the way it sounds. Usually two nights at Freddy's, then down to the office maybe five times a month."

"Doesn't sound like a good secretary," he answered, mildly.

"Maybe- he kind of likes her a little bit," she laughed. She pondered this. "Yeah, he's kind of mervy to begin with..."

He'd seen the humor in it and hadn't ignored it, but he wasn't the type to laugh or smile. They drank there for another twenty minutes and talked about the birds that went by, his house, and his work. Then he got up, without a word as to where he was going, but all the meaning was carried in his actions. He was very subtle- he left the cup on the stoop to signify he was going, and he got up slowly, so that she knew. "Hey, what's your name?" she asked, stretching out as they got up.

"Sesshoumaru." The implication swung that she should tell hers.

"Mine's Rin," she answered. She stooped to pick up her watering can. "Be seeing you, then," she said, figuring "tomorrow" would be too pretentious.

"Bye; thank you," he answered, slipping back into his jacket and fading into the trumpet drag day. See, there had been nothing to fear; a connection passed between them, but it was also strong enough to mold a platonic kind of relationship, least for a little bit.

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She finished straightening up the house, taking the papers off the tables, envelopes mostly, and putting them in one place for later. And, rearranging pillows so that they would look better for later. Kohaku came in around six-thirty five.

When he came in, he went directly to her, cold like wind, and wrapped his arms around her loosely, and sighed heavily. "Man, what kind of _rough_ work is."

Her touch to his shoulder was calm, comforting, no trace of passion but lots of wind, like him. Her gesture almost made it look like she was saying "stop," but there was tenderness in its distance. "I know you have a rough time," was what she only half-said because no words could adequately match her shelter-like touch.

He looked at her with grateful eyes. "Rin, I am _so_ glad to be home," he breathed seriously, disgusted with the outside world, holding her wrist.

She moved freely, as if not even noticing his hand. "I'm just making dinner. Sit down, if you want." Kohaku loved her for her sense of space and independence, also, something about her fascinated him- maybe that same sense of space.

He sat down on whitecouch space, flicked on a low light, thumbed through the magazines on the coffee table. The kitchen sounds were low, but consoling. Why break something that works so well?

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The sun was shining bright and truthful, as though it were a desert outside, and it was high noon. Gunslingers, general stores, buggies and saddles. Dust on leather. Rin shook a hand through her loose hair, pulled on a shirt and made some more lemonade. She took two glasses out and started on the garden work.

So then it worked like this: she'd been talking to Sesshoumaru for around a week or so, forgot his name a couple of times but that was okay since he'd forgotten hers too. She didn't think much of it, but some neighbors cast puzzled looks. He'd usually come around and they'd have a drink. It always seemed like they were meeting each other for the first time. He was so darn blank, she wondered why he kept coming round. But then that shameless first meeting came back to her in flying colors, and she remembered why.

She needed to work in the garden every day because of the heat; the plants retained little to no water, and there had been a dry spell since two weeks ago. The rain would never come. The sun was even insistent- like hand slapping on an animal skin drum.

As Sesshoumaru approached, she waved to him and unlatched the gate. He didn't bother to wave back; but again, he was extremely subtle, and his actions had to be read under the lines, and not between them. Anything that even resembled a nod from him would say novels about the way he felt. People would probably consider him cold, but she saw him as just not being vocal, wanting things to be tacit. He didn't seem as though he wasted words. He didn't seem like a wasteful person at all, or a careless one. Not someone who squandered his energies.

He leaned up to the gate. This was intimidating: he didn't lean, but he _implied_ leaning. That was probably the scariest thing about him, the leaning thing. Anybody who made come-ons was kind of puzzling to her, though. The last seven or so times she'd met him, he was very relaxed, respectful of personal space, placid. But sometimes that _implication_ came back. It ran chills up her spine, and a nauseous, dizzy feeling. She didn't want to give the wrong impression.

"I have more lemonade- I made it with strawberries today," she said, "Sometimes people mix it with iced tea and call it muddy water."

"Hmm," he answered, drinking a little more greedily. It was even hotter today than it had been yesterday- it had gone from ninety-seven to a hundred and two. Talk about fire. It was raging through the city.

"I tried it- it's pretty gross," she said, speculatively. "Tastes like watery lemon juice."

"Good," he answered, indicating the lemonade.

She grinned. A look of recognition passed his face, and he opened the gate to come in- now the thoughts were gone, but every time he came near, brushed past, gave closeness, a magnetism flowed out and- the initial reaction was a spark- then a flood, like a deluge of energy, rushing under the bridge to the open sea. But attraction is attraction, doesn't mean much more than what you do with it.

"Do you do this every day?" he asked disinterestedly, sitting on the steps. She got the impression that he tired easily, or that he liked to lounge around. His hair moved over his shoulder.

"Not in fall, but it's wetter then. The sun dries up the soil," she answered, "And sometimes I find insects, so I have to get rid of them quick before they chew everything up." She found herself speaking at ease around him; he was all ears, it seemed. It was weird that she should need another friend. She wasn't a nerd starved for friends, but she just liked him. She tried not to overanalyze it.

"What kinds of plants?" he asked. Sometimes from the corner of her eye she'd catch on to a glimpse of him; relaxed, a black suit with a cigarette-gray shirt underneath, French cuffs. And then a glass of lemonade making the picture look ridiculous.

"I have an aloe plant out here, ferns, lots of ivy, and these are pansies," she said, pointing to each. He'd taken a small notice of her outfit today- black t-shirt and almost gray denim shorts cut to the knee, tight-fitting. But nothing more. "Hey, is it Thursday today?"

"Yes."

"Oh," she said. "Can you dance salsa?" Her questions _seemed_ to come out of nowhere, but she was trying to figure out some things about him. And he didn't seem to mind; social norms meant nothing to him. He seemed to triumph over all of it.

"No."

"Oh...today I have to work," she said, looking up at the sun, "At Freddy's. They need someone at the counter today. Oh yeah!- I forgot, you can chew this plant." She broke off a piece of one and gave it to him. He looked at it somewhat suspiciously, but didn't give it a second thought.

His mouth parted- then he said, "Is this legal?"

"I'm not sure," she laughed, "I guess so, I've never heard anything about it."

His eyebrows almost raised for a moment, and she was about to laugh more when he leaned back and changed the subject. "What do you work as?"

"Bartendress," she said, busy with garden work.

"Oh?" he replied.

"Yeah, I went to bartending school when I was in high school," she answered. She smiled. "I graduated with a Masters in Mixology."

He caught the joke and recognized it; she laughed. "Hmm." They talked some more- like usual, as the conversation went on, less and less could be remembered.

"Oi, it's so hot," she yelped, though it was less like complaining than happy observance. She remembered what he said about weather changing moods...

"The nights are cooler."

She paused. "I haven't been out at night for a while- I have to work tonight though. Do you go out a lot?"

"Not so much."

"Like where do you go?" she asked. Finished with the work, she dusted off her hands and leaned against the fence next to where he sat. He passed her cup over to her.

"Bars...restaurants," he said, shrugging.

"After a while that gets boring," she said, "I remember when it was just dinner parties all the time...after we moved in. Dinner parties, everywhere. It got so lame after a while."

"It gets redundant," he agreed evasively.

"You get bored?"

"After a short while."

"Do you hang around Manhattan?" she asked, trying to add up the facts.

"Unfortunately," he replied.

The connection was so made that it was _final_. A whirlwind of thoughts ran through her mind along parallel lines. She paused, put her hands on her hip. "Well, do you want to go with me and some other people to some clubs around here? Well, mostly at Crocodile, which is big, looks like a warehouse, and near that Thai restaurant- actually we might eat first..."

Sesshoumaru's face was still as stone. "If I'm welcome to," he answered neutrally, his tone shrugging.

She smiled like a pirate then got serious. "I'm sure you'll be," she answered, nodding. The sun was truthful today. Sometimes it lied completely, should have hid its shameful face behind a cloud. Sometimes it was bright and hopeful.

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The low lights and white clean of Freddy's Bar and Grille; Rin was wearing a crisp white shirt, black vest, dark tight jeans. Kouga was at the bar, too; tonight was a busy night (Thursday night was discount night), crowded with murmuring masses, dancing people, the clatter of pool sticks. Somebody asked for a Collins, whereas on Kouga's side, somebody wanted a blazer, and wanted it quick. People were wont to treat Rin kinder than they treated Kouga, but he didn't mind because his salary was so damn high.

But he had looked worried, almost distressed, when Rin walked in. Those eyes weren't the same, but they reminded him and it hurt. He asked Rin almost in despair, "How's your sister?"

"She's okay, she's in Vegas," she answered, trying to be careful of what she said.

"Oh. Oh man. Is she taking classes there or something?"

"No, just visiting friends. She's going to the canyon in Arizona, next weekend," she said, shaking the Collins.

"Wow...well, I hope she's _happy_," he said, almost like a whiny little baby. Kouga and her sister had had a bad history, mostly or him being too eager and her not noticing that sometimes she came off as though she wanted him. But it was all innocent mistakes.

"Seen Miroku lately?" he asked, snuffing out the flames on that blazer.

"No- his secretary hasn't really been gone lately," she shrugged.

"How's Kohaku?"

"Doin' fine," she answered. "Here you go," she smiled at the man, who smiled back.

"That's good," he said, smiling wisely and nodding his head, like a smug, approving sage. "Things are the suckiest they have been in a while. Tch, not like it affects _me_ too much," he almost murmured, preparing the next drink. Rin looked at him, almost wondering and puzzled, underneath the dusty fans revolving.

Then she while she was rinsing out the shaker she heard someone say at the end of the bar: "Fuckin bitch was _two-timing_ me with that fuckin sleazy Pete guy who fixed our sofa that one time..."

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When she got home Kohaku was in bed, drooling like a baby. She laid out an outfit for tomorrow, wiped her forehead almost in complete weariness, sighing heavily, putting the money in the collective piggy bank, washing up, feeling like a ghost in bright bathroom light surrounded by darkness, trying to shake this haunting unnamable midnight feeling off. She crawled next to him in bed and led out a dizzy yawn. Scared angel, crashing into dirt, moving from one plane to another- a sick blind horse tied to intuition seeing only black clouds. Feeling lonely is almost inexplicable. She finally slept after half an hour...


	2. Stop Talking Bout Your Boyfriend

_A/N:_ One of the hardest parts of writing is appealing to an audience. It's easy enough to keep the same audience you've had for a while, but that's called catering. If someone isn't going to read the first chapter, they're probably not going to read the second one. You just have to keep on writing and depend on the possibility of reeling in new readers who didn't see it before. Which is pretty safe, since it's almost a sure bet that not everyone on Fanfiction simultaneously read your story and booed it. Also members are added every day...

Wow, well, some people favorited it, and three reviewed it, which is more than I expected, so thanks everybody. Here's some responses!

**Estry**- Thanks. Here's the rest.  
**Chranze**- Yeah, I like the title a lot too. Thanks for that. Hey also I read your story I think I remember it being titled "All Your Fault," and it was pretty good!  
**Tupelo Theif**- Thanks, you're so nice to me. A purple tie is regal like him- about that turtle thing, I thought you would like that.

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_Chapter 2: Stop Talking Bout Your Boyfriend Since He Is Not Me_

Rin came in Saturday afternoon and, with a windmill movement, kicked her shoes off; one thudded against the wall, the other slid across the hall. She dismissed her bad aim.

"What was that?" Sango's gentle voice called from another room.

"My shoes," she answered, leaning down to pick them up, "I missed."

"Missed what?"

"I was trying to get them on the shoe rack, but I kicked too hard..." Rin mused, putting them down. "I should try and be a little gentler I guess..." She stopped, put the gardening tools in the closet. You could hear the soft clatter of movement in the dusky foyer, coming from the kitchen. "Are you cooking something?"

"Yes, I'm gonna make you guys cookies," Sango replied, "The ones with ginger and coffee. I know Kohaku's having a hard time at work- since they increased his hours and all..."

"I can't figure out _why_ they'd do that," Rin answered, annoyed, moving hair from out her face.

Sango nodded consolingly, and offered, "Well, I think they're giving him a raise...not a very big one, though, but it's still a raise."

"We were doing fine with what we had..." Rin answered breathily, coming into the kitchen full on. Sango always offered both sides of a problem and tried to be consoling and gentle about things. Rin was usually just as impartial, but when she was annoyed she couldn't hide it.

"Well, if he took it, all we can do is help him," Sango shrugged. She was wearing a purple shirt, her sleeves rolled up...black slacks. She had come here directly from work. There was a bowl in her arms, and Rin stopped to check it out- it was filled with gooey brown cookie dough. She smiled and forgot about the week's troubles.

"Thanks Sango! Lemme- oh- help you with this...You staying for dinner?" Rin asked, starting to wash the dishes.

"I'm _making_ dinner," she said with a happy hip-swinging attitude, "And none of _you_ are helping me. I want you guys to have some time alone together...I'm sure there's been none of that lately."

"Yeah...well he comes home and...he's just tired, and I don't want to trouble him." The way she said it, it sounded more like a decision than a statement. Sango was always impressed at how much Rin cared, even though she was so young.

"You're an angel," Sango said sweetly. A pause followed; some things rustled; Sango tore some aluminum foil. "Uhmgf- owch. Hey, I saw you talking to _Sir_ Hunksalot again today."

"Oh myah, he comes around every day," Rin nodded, "It sucks that he works on the weekends, too. I'm glad I don't have a full-time job."

Sango nodded. "Is he nice? He seems sort of indifferent."

"He is, but it's not like that's a bad thing," Rin answered with smile, putting a huge white plate in the dryer.

Sango paused as though she were contemplating something, or deciding whether or not to say something. "Well...I mean...I never thought it was fun talking to, you know, _rocks_."

Rin let out a short laugh. "Oh, that's not it at all...he just doesn't trash his emotions...Like you know...people fake sympathy or interject lots of simpatico emotion into their talk, I don't know, to sound interesting, or to keep a conversation going...Like it always annoyed me...when people say 'oh yeah you know' or 'oh yeah me too' but they don't really mean it...it's really safe is all. You can't blame people but...I do it sometimes too. He never does that. There's not a conventional bone in his body. Nothing conforming about him." She paused. "I wish I had been by myself enough to be like that, too. Or that I'd never hung around dumb people."

Sango nodded, trying to process that- put that in your pipe and smoke it. "Yeah, I know," she said, disquieted. "...You sound like you really admire him."

Rin paused. "I guess so. He's really cool." She turned off the water. "He dresses sharp as a _tack_, too."

"Yeah, I noticed that...he dresses very _chic_," Sango agreed. "Eat some of the dough for me? There's too much."

"Will do," Rin piped.

"Have you talked to Kagome lately?" Sango asked, walking over to preheat the oven.

Outside the sun was getting low in the sky. The wind was blowing through the trees. The kids were heading inside. "No, not really," Rin answered, looking out the window.

Her mind drifted off...sailed and mulled over the night like a rocking sea...oh, speaking of night- "Oh! I forgot, I'm not going to be here for dinner."

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Saturday night came around like a roaming pony. Its darkness shadowed the corners. Rin was putting on earrings in the bathroom. She moved into the bedroom adjacent to it. The lights were still and peaceful; the bed was made neatly.

"Where are you guys going?" Kohaku asked, wandering around the bedroom. His voice was like a dismal drag- he'd been looking forward to spending some time with her, but he knew that if she wanted to stay she would. That was what bothered him.

"Oh," Rin answered, slipping into her dark jeans, "The Crocodile...and I think we're going to eat at that Thai place, but I'm not sure. It's right across the street though...I'll be starving by then so maybe."

"Which Thai place?"

"The one that they decorated like the ocean, to make it look like,...underwater," she answered, putting on lip gloss in the dim light of the bedroom. "'Skinda fancy-ish."

"Hey, that's a _nice_ outfit," Kohaku swung, almost like a protest, looking her over- a black shirt, fitting snugly, tight dark jeans running skinny along her legs- black skimmers- her hat. "Why don't you wear that next time we go out?"

"I guess so, if we go someplace fancy," Rin considered.

Something in Kohaku's face changed, she could see it from a mile away. "Fancy? That's a fancy outfit?"

She turned and smiled at him from the foot of the bed. She knew he was feeling badly, but nothing was making her stay. His expression was contorted- he almost looked as though he were in pain. The freckles on his nose and cheeks waned out his face and made him look ghost pale in the dim light. She almost felt sad for him. He was a poor kid having a really rough time- nobody so young expects to be burdened with so much work and so little lovin', after all...She looked at the mirror. Next to each other, Rin and Kohaku looked perceptibly different- him so pale and lanky and her, always looking healthy. There were also some commonalties between them, like they both had dark hair and almost the same color eyes. They were also both small framed. Kohaku's shoulders were wider than hers though.

He looked beat up, tired, distressed, and she knew that was the same way he felt. "When are they picking you up?" he asked. He knew what time, but he was trying to hold a conversation between them before her interest wandered somewhere else.

She glanced at her watch. "In twenty minutes I guess."

"Jeez, you're gonna be out _late_ then," he snapped. Rin ignored his tone. She knew that his bad feelings were manifesting themselves in snappy comments. Maybe energy worked like this: energy, whether it was negative or positive, amassed in a person, and when it got to be too much it needed to be released. Most people don't know how channel their energy into something like art or good work or other meaningful pursuits, and they need to release it in little spurts- like nasty comments, mean looks, small talk, hugs, et cetera. Some people have physical habits like snapping their fingers. She looked at it like that...

It was also that people went to work and when they came back they wanted to completely shut off. As if thinking was a burdensome thing. She shook off these thoughts and got up from the foot of the bed; she wanted not to have her mind on all these things, but rather looking forward. "No, I'll make sure to be back by midnight," she said seriously. She moved past him, contemplated whether or not to put on perfume. Decided against it, and then walked into the kitchen via the living room that connected everything. Sango was tossing a salad.

"Hi Ri- oh nice _outfit_," she said. "Where'd you get the shirt?"

"That clothing store that's around the-"

"Hey Rin! You bringing your bag or what!"

Sango saw the spark of irritation that passed Rin's eyes. Rin just shrugged though. "Oh yeah, I'll get it, thanks!" She laughed and looked back to Sango. "The one that's around the...corner from that deli."

"...Oh _thaaat_," Sango nodded, as though retrieving it from a well of floating memories. "When are you going?"

"Uhm, eight-thirty," she answered with a shrug. "Soon." She looked out the window again, and the night was inky black, darker than dark, pools of light passing running cars...Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka would pick her up. Then she'd meet up with Sesshoumaru at the Thai restaurant, Panang. If they ate there, then fine. If not, it was Crocodile and back. She started to get antsy. What time was it? Eight-twenty-nine, and it didn't look like they'd be coming anytime soon.

"You shoulda stayed- it's coming on pretty well," Sango nodded, smiling. "Well, I'll save you a plate so you can eat it...whenever I guess."

"What'dya make?" Rin opened the oven. A chicken was sizzling in a creamy sauce inside, surrounded by little trees of broccoli and cloves of garlic, stewing in salt and pepper. Yum. Oh well. Too bad she'd miss out on it. "Oooooh, that's good," she sang, closing the oven back up.

"Too bad you're going to eat Thai food," Sango said with a wink.

"Here, I brought it _for_ you," came Kohaku's disgruntled voice from the living room. There was annoyance in his voice, but a hint of apology too. Rin smiled at him.

"Thanks- I was going to get it," she reminded him. "Just in time too. That's them pulling up. Gotta go, see ya." She kissed him on the corner of his mouth, unconsciously making it all the more worse for him, and waved to Sango. "Thanks for making dinner."

"No problem. Have fun!" Sango answered. Rin slung her bag over her shoulder and made way for the door.

"But not too much," Kohaku added jokingly.

"Yah, yah," said Rin. The door opened and she went down the stairs past the garden and up to the shiny bullet blue car parked outside. They honked at her ten times before she got in.

Ayumi was driving; Eri was up front; Yuka in back with Rin. Eri turned around in her seat, clutching the back of it, and watched as Rin got in. "What's happenin', hot stuff!" Eri's hoarse voice teased. The three of them were Kagome's friends; and after Kagome had left, they sort of fell in with Rin, though she wasn't sure whether this was because they missed Kagome or they just needed somebody else to hang around. "You remind us a whole lot of Kagome," Yuka had once said jokingly. Rin didn't see how _that_ was. She was very different from Kagome.

"We're gonna go meet Yuka's new _boyfriend_ today," Eri chimed. Yuka just furrowed her eyebrows and looked out the window.

"Where's your friend Rin?" Ayumi asked, hitting the gas.

Rin was waving to Kohaku and Sango as she asked, but she looked up front. "Oh, we have to meet him there. I'll get him though."

"He your new man-love?" asked Eri with an urgent suspicion.

"Eri, please."

"I wanna know!"

"No, he's just a friend!" Rin laughed back, looking out the window at the rolling scenery. "What's your boyfriend's name, Yuka?"

"Please. We're not _dating_. Since when has anyone ever believed _Eri_," Yuka answered, running her hands through her hair and rolling her eyes. Yuka was always strikingly calm.

"Hey! Watch it!" Eri answered, giggling and slapping Yuka on the knee.

"It's true," Yuka answered placidly. She turned her eyes back to Rin. "Anyway, we're not dating. His name is Tom."

"I _heard_ from a little _bird_ that _Tom_ is a hunko_saurus_," sang Eri, smiling and indicating Ayumi.

"Don't bring me into it! Ah!" Ayumi breathed, with an airy laugh.

"But don't believe anything Eri says," said Yuka coolly, "He's a sound engineer, so maybe you two will have stuff to talk about.

Rin saw Eri roll her eyes from the rear view mirror. "Oh yeah, because I just remembered, Rin is _also_ a sound engineer. And you call _me_ a liar."

Yuka laughed. "_No_, I mean 'cause Rin likes music and all. Me, I just dance to it. Shut up, Eri, you're probably just jealous 'cause you don't even know what a sound engineer _is_."

"Oh yes I do! You're probably just trying to cover up the fact that he is actually a golden _veneer_ for a living," Eri contested.

"Say _what_?" Yuka balked in reply.

"He's a golden veneer-" Eri answered, but stopped short. "Or a _deer_."

"Or a new frontier," Rin joined, crossing her arms.

"An American pioneer!" Ayumi said from the front.

"A whale near a pier!"

"I'm going to kill Eri with a _spear_," Yuka laughed.

"Oi! I'm going to hide in fear," Eri said.

"But look, we're here," Ayumi pointed out, shifting the car into park. They had pulled up to the massive building just seconds ago, in its loomy night-veil. It looked like an industrial warehouse. Its lights glowed like absinthe; there was a huge painted banner advertising ladies' night and weekend specials. People shuffled out, but there was a huge plastic mass just waiting to go _in_. Rin hoped that they wouldn't be waiting for long- she didn't want to keep Sesshoumaru waiting...that worried her.

Ayumi hugged Rin and said hello as they got out; Ayumi was always that nice. She wore a pink dress with fluttering sleeves and black flats. Ayumi was feminine enough to pull off something like that in a casual setting. Yuka waited for Rin; she was wearing flared jeans, red heels, black t-shirt. Eri had since linked arms with Rin, and commented on her outfit (again). Eri was wearing a red shirt, black leggings, and black shoes.

"Is Tom inside?" Rin asked, feeling the cold rush of the night...Sesshoumaru had been right; it was getting cooler.

"Yeah, I guess so," Yuka shrugged, "I'll ask him."

"I want a beer," Eri announced, still _rhyming_.

"Can we get in?" Rin questioned, wondering whether it would be better to suggested eating now...but that wouldn't make it less _crowded_...

"If we can't I'll shed one tear," Eri said.

Ayumi talked lowly to Rin; Ayumi spoke softly, and always directly to the person she spoke to. She liked to speak intimately, Rin guessed. "We can get in- I made sure that we had someone to let us in," she said, smiling.

"Thanks Ayumi," Yuka smiled.

They approached the building, and then came to a big metal double-door. They were ushered in by a big man with sunglasses on. "Thank you, Jordan," Ayumi smiled, hugging him.

"Thanks Jor," Yuka said. "Hey, did you see a guy come in with brown hair and a kind of crooked nose? Like twenty years old-"

"Yeah, yeah, I saw someone like that," Jordan answered. They'd been escorted through a small corridor where they kept boxes of supplies; it connected to the employee's only bathroom, whose entrance was near the bar.

"Oh really? Cool," Yuka answered. Their shoes clanked hollow on the steel floor. They went through one door, and as silence enveloped them, Eri said:

"Looks like we're in the _clear_," like a secret agent.

"Would you _please_ stop _rhyming_," Yuka groaned, throwing her head back.

"If that'll make you happy," Eri shrugged. Then she added slyly, "_Dear_."

Yuka's eyes shot open and her mouth curved into a wide smile. "You're lucky we even invite your inappropriate ass anywhere!" she laughed loudly. Her voice rang through the raw walls, and bounced off the floors; finally they came outside. The bar was long and wooden, and lit by a series of box lights underneath. A lengthy fish tank stood behind it, fish colorful like pinatas and confetti. The bartender was a little hefty, serious eyes, and sparse blonde hair; wearing a black vest and apron. Lights hung from overhead, and people milled around in brightness and color. There were big statues, a crocodile hanging from the ceiling, a big sneaky crocodile with a cowboy hat to the left of the bar. Some Japanese-sounding remix was looming overhead in the rafters; the lights were multi-colored, but they hadn't turned on yet because it wasn't ten. They kept the bright lights on until ten, when things really started to whoop up.

"There's Tom," Yuka pointed out, her tone somewhat lackadaisical, though her fingers tightened when she said it. Rin turned to where Yuka pointed; in the lounge was a tall, brown haired fella with a long, semi-crooked nose. Great face on the whole, though a little odd looking, shaggy hair, wore a brown jacket and dark jeans. The congregation symbolically gasped.

"He IS a hunkosaurus!"

"Don't you even think about it," Yuka laughed, "I like him..."

"Ugh! Like I would," Eri dismissed. The air in her sentence implied a good sense of loyalty and a bond between the two that was hard to miss. Yuka smiled gratefully to herself. Ayumi was caught in her own space, time, and dimension, like always. Rin felt as though she were roller blading on steel and ice.

They made their way over to him; when he saw Yuka, his eyes lit up in happy recognition and his mouth widened in a kind of smug smile. "Hi Tom," Yuka said placidly, kissing him on the cheek after a moment's hesitation. "This is Eri...and Rin. You met Ayumi already."

"Hi," he waved. They mingled talking about nothing for maybe ten minutes when Rin started to fidget.

"I gotta go pick up my friend," she said, breaking away from them a little.

"Hey, where is he?"

"Oh, I told him to wait across the street." She shuffled her feet and turned her bag.

"Well I guess Jor will recognize her...or do you want to go with her, Ayumi?" Yuka asked, holding her chin in her palm.

"I'll go," Ayumi said, and then linked arms with Rin. They moved through the crowd, out the back door, past dancers and couples, and into the cool street. You couldn't hear the crickets chirp, that's how loud the night sounds were: a taxi rushing by, sporadic, jilty bursts of sound from a small bunched group, a car blasting the beginning of "Walk of Life" ("here come Johnny singin' I got a woman, down in the tunnel tryin' to make it pay"), slippery vendors, a man with a wrist of watches, a dog screaming...loud Chinese spoken amongst neighbors, sounding angry...they crossed the street, almost skimming the backside of a blue PT Cruiser, illuminated by circles of light. Ayumi said something and laughed, they stepped onto the sidewalk...

Panang was standing like a dignified minister. Its wide styled letters glowed white, and the walls had decorative slits cut diagonally. A murmur came from inside. Rin went inside without Ayumi, who looked confused.

She came inside; the wide, geometric fountain was filled with placid, dark water, lilies floating atop. The panels of ocean nostalgia were almost unlit, but for the low and sparse lights. Gave the place "atmosphere." She looked around.

A flare shot up in her brain and tingled through her body; there he was, with his sleeves rolled up- a black shirt, dark jeans, well-cut...leather loafers. Placidity in his face. There was nothing funny or clownish about him, nothing that messed around. He looked around as though disinterested, but when the lights moved around him, he looked like a king. She stood for a moment just lookin' at him. Then he lifted up his eyes and saw her. No remembrance passed his face- by the way he looked, you'd think he'd been expecting her there the whole time. He was so much taller than anyone around him- so much more regal looking- he looked deep as a well, surrounded by puddles...the light illuminated his face dimly...

She opened her mouth to say something, until she noticed him looking over her outfit. She smiled, gestured for him to come over. He walked over, more like sauntered or _crawled_ over. He met her at the door. "We're over across the street," she said, but it was obvious he didn't hear by the blank look on his face. The bustling noise in here was too dense to hear through, so she leaned up and whispered it in his ear- her nerves shook her nervously, went into hyper mode, and she messed up and said "Werober across the street." But he seemed to get it.

She walked out with him, him, cool and nonchalant, her, nervy and excited, smiling giddily. Ayumi saw them and almost looked like she was having a heart attack. "This is Sesshoumaru," Rin said, trying to remain cool.

"It's nice to meet you," Ayumi said, collecting herself again. Sesshoumaru just nodded. They crossed the nighttime sights of the street again to head back into the back door.

"Thanks Jor," Ayumi said and kissed him on the cheek. He just stared sullenly at Sesshoumaru like he was staring at a two headed alien.

"Big place," Sesshoumaru commented, looking around.

"Yeah- they play good music too," Rin answered.

They made their way back over to the lounge where Tom, Eri, and Yuka were laughing, standing around. "Hi," Rin said, easing back into the group.

They all turned to tall Sesshoumaru. "Who's this?" Eri sputtered, smiling devilishly.

"This is Sesshoumaru, that's Eri, Yuka, and Tom," Rin said, pointing to each one and wanting to get introductions over with. The girls waved. Tom just had to do the "guy" thing and shake hands with him.

"Hey, you guys stink," Eri said politely, "Where did you meet up?"

"Way to show your manners Eri."

"Watch it-"

"Oh, we met at that uhm...that Thai place across the street, Panang," Rin said, remaining close to Sesshoumaru though the group had spread into a bigger circle.

"Oh really?"

"Man, I'm hungry," Yuka complained.

"Aw, well shit, why don't we all just go there then?" Tom said. "It's dead around here anyway."

"Yeah, I guess the action doesn't start until after ten."

"We'll come back later," affirmed Ayumi.

"How much money you have on you?" Eri asked the group.

"Enough to eat," Yuka shrugged.

So the group hurried back across the lifeless crowd, through the music, under the shadow of the crocodile...Sesshoumaru was tailing Rin, seemed to be following her rather than the rest. They won suspicious looks from the bartender when they entered the employee's bathroom at the same time; then they went out the back door and met up with Jordan. "Man, you guys are all over the place today- don't come in and out too much, or I'll get in trouble."

"Sorry Jordan," Ayumi chimed, "We won't take too much advantage. We'll be back in around an hour." Ayumi spoke like the rough wind. Her social graces made her capable of doing a lot. Jordan held the door opened for them and the breeze trickled into the hot steel room.

"Feel that breeze!" Eri said as they crossed the street. The night became like a veil, like a heavy perfume, and intoxicated the group like heavy velvet wine, whether they were conscious of it or not; its purple paw came like heavy lights and scratched a fast pace in the street. They came to the ominous doors of Panang and went back into it, dimly lit, a large room like a cavern; creepy bathrooms that were a little like open stalls and made you feel like anyone could see you. Really low wooden tables; the occasional candle spilling pretty light onto anyone's face.

A table for six was procured after five minutes, a table near a blue painted panel, feet away from the bar. Tom and Rin got into a conversation:

"You're a sound engineer?"

"Yeah."

"What do you do for?"

"Country music-"

"Really! Wow!"

Tom laughed, "Yeah, that's what I know. 'Please help me I'm faaaallin'..."

"That's pretty cool," Rin answered.

"Ayumi, how hungry are you?" Eri asked across the table.

"Not very. Wanna share something?"

Rin turned to Sesshoumaru. "Are you very hungry?" she asked lowly.

"No," Sesshoumaru replied. "I want a drink."

"Me neither," Rin agreed, "I think I'll just pick off the appetizers."

A seat away, Eri's face lit up; her eyes opened wide, and she turned her head toward Sesshoumaru and Rin. "Oh Rin! I forgot to ask you, how's Kohaku doing?"

Rin turned away from Sesshoumaru and looked as though she'd woken from a daze. "Oh, he's not doing so well," Rin answered, sipping from her water glass, "They extended his hours at the factory."

"Man, _seriously_?" Yuka balked in disbelief. "That _sucks_."

"Did he get a raise or something?" Eri asked.

"Yeah, but it's not that much," Rin said. "It also has something to do with some people quitting, and they need more..." She tried with some difficulty to explain it. Her mind wasn't there at the moment. Her heart was always in that stuff, but she couldn't get her head to run with it. Right now she was actually strongly in the present, almost like she couldn't think about the past or future...

"Poor Kohaku," Ayumi sympathized, nodding her head.

"Yeah..." Rin answered, shrugging. In dark candlelight, her eyes flicked up back to Sesshoumaru's face...and he was looking on with lackadaisical interest. He seemed not to care at all, but he was paying attention anyway. She wondered why. Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi laughed; she saw Tom smiling. It all seemed like disconnected events.

The waitress took their orders and left. Tom talked to Sesshoumaru across the table; it was a small irritation to Rin that Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi insisted on talking about Kohaku for most of the meal. She sensed for some reason that they were fixed on it, but she couldn't figure out why. "Maybe we can take you out for your anniversary," Ayumi teased.

"Oh," Rin said, not knowing how else to respond to that.

"What's wrong?" Yuka asked with a big grin.

"We don't really celebrate that kind of thing," she answered. She stirred her drink around, trying to get the milk and the iced tea to mix; unmixed, they made this kind of dark, swirling liquid, but mixed it was bright orange...you see, _that_ was what she occupied with, not all these other things.

"No? That's weird. I thought Kohaku was more the _sentimental_ kind," Eri laughed, sipping her Manhattan.

"Yeah, I guess," Rin laughed along.

"_Here_ you go, guys," the waitress said, creeping up behind Rin and Sesshoumaru, setting down some square plates. She not so discreetly brushed her arms against his black sleeves _more_ than once. She went to the other side of the table and set down some more plates, a big chicken platter for Ayumi and Eri. "Got you a refill," she told Sesshoumaru, smiling profusely. He didn't acknowledge it. She didn't act half as hospitable toward the other half of the table, but she was nice nonetheless. "Anything else guys?"

"Nah, thanks," Eri smiled at her.

"Okay, enjoy!"

Rin served herself. "How you doing?" she asked Sesshoumaru.

"Fine," he said, picking up a shrimp dumpling. "You?"

"Okay. I didn't know these were _shrimp_," she commented, making a sour face and stabbing into the little dumpling. "Seafood creeps me out..."

"It's that way with a lot of people," he answered. She looked at him for a moment- he even _ate_ perfect.

"You eat really neatly," she blurted. Of all the stupid things to say.

"How do _you_ eat?"

She shrugged. "Not like you." She thought for a second that he was about to laugh, but it was only passing.

"Rin, it's shrimp!" Eri complained, almost sinking in her seat. She hated seafood.

"Did I forget to order pork?" Rin asked herself.

They ate; Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka weren't so bent on bringing up Kohaku anymore, but the topic came up sometimes. Questions like, "How's Kohaku feel about that?" et cetera. The clatter of utensils did most of the talking. Tom was laughing at something Sesshoumaru said. For a minute Rin thought about how out of place Tom was. If you look at the list, it reads: Eri, Ayumi, Yuki, Rin, Sesshoumaru, Tom. Tom. Where did that come from?

Rin wasn't drinking yet, but she felt as though she'd swallowed some powerful potion, some kind of alchemy that made everything seem stars and endless space. It was hard to explain but it was a fast-paced, rushing feeling that had something to do with these streets at night. She was nervy, anyway, nervier now than she'd been in a while. She knew she needed to calm herself down. She downed the last of that shrimp dumpling, ate some satay.

"I heard that the meat at Asian restaurants is really rat meat!" Eri barked to the group at large. Unlike Ayumi or Yuka, Eri never felt it necessary to abstain from alcohol. Eri started up right from the get-go and rared through nights like a drunken machine. Thank God she had modest friends.

"Rat meat! I guess it wouldn't be hard to find a rat around here," Tom said, laughing.

"How much more inappropriate could you _be_," Yuka said deadpan. Her expression was completely flat.

"Way to ruin a meal Eri," Ayumi laughed, looking for a piece of chicken she'd dropped.

Eri's face set itself triumphant; she popped more chicken into her big ol' mouth and said, "Blame the kitchen."

Once during the meal Rin saw Sesshoumaru smile, but very small, and very vague. She paused and looked at him, couldn't help but smile, too, but it was so odd...then again, he had had three refills on that vodka tonic so far, and he didn't look as though he were about to stop, or even slow down, any time soon. God, he was really something.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

They got back to the club after a small dessert, laughed like hyenas through the back door, and then went straight to the bar. Nobody was about to stop, in fact. "How many drinks have you had, miss?" "One...after another." That was the spirit of the day.

Eri ordered _another_ martini, but thankfully she wasn't alone. Ayumi had a tall pina colada; Eri a vodka tonic; Rin a Southern Comfort, on the rocks. "What the Hell is that?" Eri asked, laughing. "You a cowboy or something?"

"You drink _strong_," Tom said, with odd admiration. Rin seemed so innocent to him, so he was fairly impressed.

Rin shrugged and looked at Sesshoumaru. They didn't say anything much to each other, but actions speak louder than words. Throughout the night she stayed close to him, unintentionally. Once in a while they'd exchange a look or a joke that spoke thousands of words, and everybody picked up on the odd connection between the two. They had come back at nine-fifty. The lights weren't out yet, but-

"Ten 'o' clock! Dim the lights," Yuka said, as though a maestro.

Eri sang, "Raise up your orchestra!" Yuka conducted the lights as they went down. Rin felt her heart race, partly from the alcohol. The lights went out for a minute- wild animal screams in the middle of the room, coming out of onyx blackness- then, bright as strobe, circle lights moved through the room from the rafters. Colored red, blue, green, yellow; and the word Crocodile lit up from the upstairs lounge. The crowd yelped, but to the employees it was just something they did every night, and nobody cared much.

Surfer guitar started- "Escucha!" commanded the singer, and everyone followed, clusters huddled over the dance floor. The night was just starting, and everyone knew it.

"Let's dance!" Yuka sang lightheartedly, and Ayumi, Tom, and Eri followed her out. Sesshoumaru and Rin stayed behind.

"Look at that!- he's break dancing," Rin said, pointing to the crowd. Sesshoumaru looked on, gulped down more of his drink. He glared at the bartender when he put too much tonic water in- for Sesshoumaru, the vodka to tonic ratio was always 2:1.

Rin was puzzled. She'd never liked vodka because it was as plain as rubbing alcohol, and just as strong. It had no taste. "You like that stuff?" she asked, sticking out her tongue.

"Drink it like a bandit," he answered, downing it in one gulp.

"Jeez, you got talent!" she beamed.

"I try," he said, passing it over for a refill. He must've been rich or something- those drinks weren't cheap, she knew that. Especially in a popular club. Maybe he was just a fucking drunk.

"My boyfriend can't drink at all," she laughed. A bored look passed his face, as if to say, Not _that_ again. Sesshoumaru's expressions were easy to read when he'd been drinking. She didn't know why, but references to Kohaku just popped out of her mouth, and she couldn't stop them. It was a weird phenomenon. Anyway, she was a little concerned for him, and wanted him to get home okay, but she also didn't want to lecture him. Besides, he only looked buzzed- she could tell he could _hold_ his alcohol and _then_ some, but she...cared, was all.

"Bathroom break! You coming, Rin?" said Yuka, as if passing from nowhere, from dark dimensions and clustered crowds to the bar.

"Yeah, I- see ya, Sessho," she said, waving slightly. She moved into their group and came next to Ayumi.

"Sessho? That's cute," Ayumi said, nodding.

"Just kinda came out," Rin admitted, looking back. She hoped she hadn't annoyed him or nothing...

The bathrooms were right by the lounge- big bathrooms, designed to bring out calm yellow light, cream colored tiles and yellow wall lights. They ran through the door, and burst into wild laughs just as soon as they did, with Eri saying:

"Sesshoumaru is a HUNK!" She tore the yellow headband from her hair, shaking it free like a princess and fixing it without a mirror, a party angel.

"Hey, I thought Tom was a hunk!" Ayumi laughed, leaning over to put on her lipstick- Ayumi was calm, floaty, lily on the water...as the singer sang, "sexualmente violento..."

Yuka wiped foundation on her face, shining with light sweat, and smiled wide; "Excuse _you_, a hunko_saurus_." Rin smoothed out her shirt and leaned against the wall; busied herself with the free samples of lotion and perfume at the door- a female janitor who muttered, "I _clean_ the place," squat and unhappy, charging like a bull through the door, Queen of Dissent, moving in through worlds of light and dark. Rin let out a sigh, checked her watch.

Eri groaned and threw her head up to the ceiling, frustrated with how to express her self. "Tom _is_ a hunkosaurus, but _Sesshoumaru_ is..." She paused; then light, wild and voracious, passed into her brown eyes. "Let's put it this way. If Tom is a _city_ of hunk, then Sesshoumaru is a _continent_."

"That's unfair!" Yuka muttered, aloofly.

"It's unfair that Rin gets a fucking _hunk_ like Sesshoumaru! And where am I? Romantic limbo!" Eri said with a wide smile, shooting jealous eyes to Rin. "Where did you _find_ him? And he's so- that strong silent type- oh! I think I'll steal him."

"No! You're such a douche," Rin said, tossing a lotion packet to her.

Ayumi hummed gently in the mirror, washing off some ill-placed eyeliner. "It's so unfair. Rin is so lucky to find Kohaku, and _then_ Sesshoumaru. Where are all the men for me?"

"Awww, Ayumi," cooed Eri, smelling the lotion sample that Rin had threw at her. Eri was a little suspicious, truth be told. She knew Rin was young, and that Rin had the kind of character that floated in and out. It was hard to explain, but she knew that Rin wouldn't think much of doing wrong things, just because she was so innocent and open to all kinds of experiences.

"Well, I have Jay back home," Ayumi said, smiling and putting on a light coat of blush. Her words implied a small town, a boy for her just beyond the railroad tracks...she was from Pennsylvania.

"Oh yeah, how is Jay?" Eri asked, tapping her feet and swaying to the music.

"He's okay," Ayumi said, dancing along with Eri as she put away her makeup.

Rin was impatient; she felt the heat, the tensity, and wanted only to be released back into the big room. It was a dark thing to think, but she wanted to get back to _Sesshoumaru_...a cumbia started outside.

"Oh, Rin, we can dance to this! 'Member those dance classes!"

"Yeah," Rin agreed. She'd ask Sesshoumaru to dance with her- oh, the thought was too much, sent her nerves into a frenzy...she maintained that they were only friends, though. She knew the looks that Eri gave her, and she didn't like it- it made her feel sick and guilty, shameful, like crawling under a rock- but they were just friends! What a lie that was. She didn't know it yet, but it was the heftiest lie of all. Eri took her into a dance.

"Alright, I'm ready, dancing freaks!" Yuka said, breathy, "Thanks for waiting." She lead the parade back out. Yuka was anxious to get back to Tom, too; she sympathized with Rin.

Rin made her way back to the bar, wanted to get there before the song was over; she found Sesshoumaru talking to another lady. Although she was confused at first, she waited for them to finish- she didn't want to seem jealous. The singer's voice came on _great_, hungry, everything...Sesshoumaru noticed her. "Sorry- want to dance?" she asked.

Something in his demeanor yelled back _Yes_, and off they went- it was heavy stuff- the floor seemed to lift up into black oblivion, moving lights, a dizzy feeling- so close to him- she spied Eri, forcing herself to smile. Ayumi was caught in a dance with some Barney. Yuka was sweating away with Tom.

"You dance well!" Rin commented, laughing. Her face was red- she caught the eye of many a pervy surveyor, but didn't pay attention. Sesshoumaru didn't move too much but followed with her, moved fluidly- she didn't know whether he was enjoying himself or just humoring her, but she was enjoying herself so voraciously that her mind couldn't cram these screaming insecurities in its crowded caverns...

Songs passed, energy in and out: "Mi mente corre como corveta..." At some point Eri had left. "We're gonna go sit somewhere!" said Ayumi, breathlessly and laughingly, with Tom and Yuka exhausted in tail...Rin nodded.

"Just you and me then." Her tone was tremulous, though it had tried in vain to be laughing. Sesshoumaru nodded wisely. She felt like she was walking a line, a trapeze rope, between good and bad, and that she was leaning- had lost her balance- near _bad_...to _wrong_. She kept on anyway, she just didn't know why. It ate at her for a minute or two, and she almost wanted to sit down...

But then a slow, gentle song started to play. Her mind was boggled for a minute as she tried to understand the pace and the rhythm. It sounded like a bossa nova song..."Yo quiero caminar por encima de tu pelo..." She smiled up at him.

This was the downfall. That old nagging habit came back again, and she blurted: "Kohaku hates dancing..."

Something animal passed his face; his eyes hardened. "You talk about him more than I would like to hear." His tone was blank, emotionless.

Among the music, the floating atmosphere, she looked up at him, speechless for a moment. She would have protested with any other person, but Sesshoumaru was different. "S-sorry," she stammered, dumb as to what else to say.

"Your sorry doesn't mean anything to me," he said, looking to the side. "Talk about him all you want, but tell the truth at least."

"What does that mean?" she asked, as they whirled around to some other place.

"If you feel guilty then fine. But I don't stand for vacillation. You can lie to yourself but don't lie to me." His face was so- it could make a girl cry. He was stern- serious- wasn't fooling around.

Ugh, goddamn this, she thought, and felt a negativity wash over her. In fact, her head spun. She looked up at him, and his expression was completely hard to read- she was almost...she felt dizzy. "I'm gonna go get a drink," she said as she left his side.

When she looked back at the dance floor he was dancing with a pretty woman. Fuck that.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Second bathroom break, Yuka was washing her face of the sweat. "...no, he was just effing _staring_ at me, I mean, you can stare, but keep it on the D.L.!" She was continuing her story about some pervert who was staring at her in the lounge.

"That's rough," Ayumi laughed.

There was a pause. Rin washed her hands, and she sensed something was about to happen- she looked at Eri. Eri took the glance as an opportunity. "Hey, you're real close to that Sesshoumaru," she said, gently but disapprovingly.

Rin was dumbfounded. _Again_ with this criticism..."What?"

"I'm just saying...you're kind of...I dunno, it doesn't seem right to me," Eri shrugged, uncomfortably. She twiddled her thumbs. Eri, wild as she was, had her heart in the right place. She knew what was up. Rin felt fucked up next to her.

"Oh, shut up, Eri," Yuka said, jokingly although she couldn't ignore the serious tone of their talk. It seemed as though the air had thickened and rose up, was stale and thick as a block.

"No, I mean...if Kohaku's having a tough time, then why didn't you stay home? I mean...I don't want you to get in trouble."

Rin was having a hard time swallowing this. It was becoming a problem already?...She looked at the wall, turned around...got some paper towel. She didn't know what to say. What could she say?

"I mean...you didn't dance with anyone else the whole night."

"Nobody asked me, I guess," Rin shrugged.

"Yeah, but I saw quite a few guys make eyes at you," Eri pointed out factually, becoming annoyed with Rin's so-called childish attitude, "Don't bolt yourself down to anything that you don't want."

"Shut _up_, Eri, obviously there's nothing going on between them, so stop drilling her," Yuka chided, standing near the two.

"It just seems wrong to me!" Eri laughed. Suddenly it seemed as though the subject was to be forgotten; but it still wrenched Rin's guts, had that sunken, low, sick feeling...

"I don't think so," Yuka said, looking at Rin with confidence.

Ayumi leaned over the sink and wiped some stray mascara from the corners of her eyes. "Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with it," she comforted, her motherly voice radiating from eons of waves, "It's good to have a manpanion. You just keep on." She said it from one girl whose boyfriend was away to another- except that Rin's boyfriend wasn't away...

"Yeah, Eri's a fucking doofus, and I told you not to believe anything she says," Yuka said, drawing attention away from the subject with her iron voice.

"So now everyone gangs up on me! I am appalled," Eri said, changing the subject. Rin was grateful to Yuka and Ayumi, but she knew, in the darkest part of her heart, that Eri was righter than right. And that she needed to set her foot down, make some rules, structure things a little bit...the radio voice said, "I'm on the Mexican, whoa-oh, radi-oh" without any particular meaning on the surface.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"I'm gonna go catch a breath," Rin said on their way out, making her way to the door. They had an area for smokers sectioned off near the main entrance. It was a stupid idea to catch a breath of fresh air in a smoking area, but she didn't want to bother that guy Jordan again by going in and out too much.

Outside the heat was pressing down an autumn breeze, and you could feel the vibrations off the crowd, the huddled masses; she came out almost blind to anything but feeling, standing in the small gated area...but now that she had sure footing she got a chance to look around. Two guys around twenty years old, sharing a J, and a nervous girl, combing back her thick blonde hair...and surprise surprise, Sesshoumaru. His tall regal was sucking down a short cigarette; she wasn't at all surprised to find him standing there. He inhaled. The tip burned red. He exhaled; clouds of smoke like vines climbed around him.

She had expected this, by intuition, maybe. Her instinct was working okay, but she had trouble approaching him. And how should she approach him, anyway? After those words, hollow and cold, it felt like staring at a disappointed father.

He moved his head, turned it up to the sky. "Sessho," she said, almost like a command, calling from darkness, its echoes ringing off nothingness. Her nervousness had cut his name off again.

Sesshoumaru turned around, looked at her; and then nodded, as if to say "go on." She came up next to him. "Were you really irritated back there?" she asked, careful in her speech and tone.

"Yes," he said, cooly.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean it," she said apologetically. It was so hard to apologize- particularly being older now. Eri hadn't apologized back in the bathroom- adult relationships worked like that. "I know we ain't doing anything, but something makes me feel as though I'm doing something wrong. I think it might be me following you so tightly. But I'm not sure." She spoke with the supposing firmness of a scientist explaining himself.

Sesshoumaru looked down at her. "Following me?" he asked, passing her the cigarette.

"Yeah," she answered, inhaling. Menthol? Jeez, he was full of surprises. "Like, sticking to you so tightly. It has something to do with loyalty, but I'm not entirely sure...all I'm saying is that we should probably cool it a little." Brief and smoldering eye contact; then she looked out toward the black street. "I know nothing's happening," she started slowly, giving him back the cigarette, "The feeling is just...I'm not so sure you feel the same."

His silence was enough of an answer. She inhaled the fresh air sharply. "I don't wanna hurt anybody," she said with a short shrug.

"I understand," he answered. There was no hostility in his, but rather something comforting, something relaxed and placid. "'Nother?" he asked, offering her the cigarette again. Something about him was wholly gentle; he looked at her nicely, stood closer and less aloofly next to her.

"Oh, no thanks," she said. He tossed the burning thing over the gate, let it die there; then they went back in.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"You gonna get home okay?" Rin asked, a little concerned, moving a thick strand of hair behind her ear. The night air stewed and swirled around them. It was only twelve, but they'd figured they'd call it quits for the night. Cigarette smoke burned and swirled from nearby, mingled with the night air; fragrant trees stood close by; some men nearby were speaking fast Arabic, they sounded like they were having an excited intellectual discussion about something. A Denali whirled by in shining black. A squirrel ran scared into an alley. Everything seemed fairly peaceful, and in place...

"Yes- I called a taxi," he said.

She fixed her hat, tilted the brim so that it stood lopsided, awkward looking. "Okay then," she smiled, "Seeya...Monday I guess."

"Yeah," he answered, "Good night."

"Night. Hey, bye Tom," she said with a short wave. Yuka and Tom had broken away from each other after slow whispering; Tom waved back as if in a daze.

Rin got into the car with Ayumi, who moved her fingers to blast the air conditioning. Yuka got in, then Eri. "Whoo! What a night," Eri sighed, as the car eased into a run. They waved to the boys. "We should do that again sometime," she suggested meekly.

"Yeah," Yuka answered, putting on chap stick. She offered to Rin who waved it off. They stank like liquor and sweat. Yuka yawned and leaned her sleepy doll head into the seat. "I'm sleepy," she yawned.

Ayumi blinked her eyes hard. "I'm hungry...maybe we can hit the drive-thru." She yawned into her open palm. Eri nodded tiredly.

"Drop me off first- Sango made dinner," Rin said from the back. She seemed to be the only one who wasn't tired, and she had danced the most out of all of them.

"Ah, okay, you party pooper," Ayumi chuckled quietly. Everyone seemed exhausted, and quiet. They were actually a few years older than Rin, so maybe the age difference was the reason why they had a lack of energy...They weren't much older, though...did any of these thoughts make sense? She hadn't had too much to drink, but her mind was passing by her in such a whirl that...

"Weeee're here," Ayumi chimed. So they were; they'd pulled up like a quiet night chariot to the small brownstone. Everything was quiet space.

"Thanks for the ride- call me up next time," Rin said, sliding to open the door.

"See ya Rin," Ayumi waved cheerfully.

"See ya," the other two said in a dreary chorus. Eri would probably have a major hangover tomorrow...Rin wasn't too consumed with those thoughts and instead leapt out of the car, onto the quiet street; from the outside you could clearly hear the car's soft rumbling purr...Her shoes tapped on the clean cement...she waved to them.

They backed up and waved. "Well, I don't think anything's going on," Ayumi said, as they whirled backwards and then hurtled back into the night.

"I dunno..."

"Let's get some freaking McDonald's," Yuka said, groaning as if dismissing the topic.

Rin was walking up the steps past the garden gate. Her limbs suddenly felt tired and tingly. She slung her bag over her shoulder, got her keys from her pocket...in the light of the dining room, she could see Kohaku's silhouette, a side profile like a lonely painting in the dark. She opened the door.

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Stick around for the next chapter & thanks!


	3. A Little Lovin' and Some Peace of Mind

_A/N_: Man I don't have much to say this time. I was going to say something, but I forgot it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited by the way! If you review again y don't needa say this was a great chapter. It was just a bridge chapter anyway to bigger better things.

**Indomitable Spirit**- Hey thanks lots for the good review. About that stuff with Kagome- not that she's evading it, it just doesn't reveal itself until later. Oh no, Rin knew he'd be there, but in Ch. 1 she invited him out with her friends- kind of like group outing things. Plus she doesn't really know him well so going out with friends is more appropriate I thought. Thanks again and enjoy!  
**Rinya-sesshomaru**- Hey, Rin is twenty, and just in case you were also wondering Sesshoumaru is...twenty five or something I think. About the career thing, I guess she just didn't want to. I don't know, maybe a reason will unfold itself later. Thanks for reviewing.  
**Chranze**- Yeah, Kohaku definitely has that whole Im-still-a-kid thing about him. I guess wait and see...anyway I'd like to see the continuation for that. I was wondering what was supposed to happen, and what the trip to the tropics thing was about. Thanks.  
**Tupelo Thief**- Oh you. OI, I didn't even NOTICE that CROCODILE thing...Yeah I guess they are entertaining hehe. What country thing? I don't get it. Keep going? Not on your life! I'll call you in a sec.

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Chapter 3: A Little Lovin' And Some Peace of Mind

She came through the door like a greedy cat with its face to the hot wind; all that stood was illuminated in dim yellow light. Nothing was moving; there seemed to be no heat; everything was still, and she felt like she'd walked in upon a frozen room, a sterile bed, a waterfall...

She tried to move quietly. Like elastic she pushed her shoes off onto the shoe rack near the closet, and then made her way barefooted into the dining room...Kohaku was there staring blankly over a box of Entemann's cake, his profile sallow and hollow like a ghost's. Rin came in quietly but his eyes still flicked up to hers. "Oh, hey, Rin," Kohaku murmured through a napkin.

"Hi," she said, leaning over and hugging him, "What's with the cake?"

"Sango left it here- I was thinking I should have a piece," he mused, scratching his chin. He got up, came close to her; but as soon as he came near his hand flew up to his face and he pinched his nose. "Oh God, you _stink_," he choked, then doubled over laughing looking at her sorry face.

"What?...oh, we were drinking, and dancing," she answered somewhat cautiously embarrassed.

He caught a breath. "Haha, the look on your face- hey how much did you have to drink?" He whirled around the table, got up and sliced the cake, his posture almost giddy- his movements awkward. He was pretty happy she'd come back so soon. The cake box was near a scattering of bills, envelopes- her eye spotted a yellow envelope that had an Arizona stamp on it...caught it, the night was blasting in here too, you could feel its gusty vibrations from inside...even though looking out the window, it looked dead as a haunted house road, a still tree in the glowing darkness.

"I donno...I had-"

"That's pretty safe," he nodded, poking her in the arm. She smiled at him. He wasn't very conventional looking- but he was so nice to listen to. He had a rough, hoarse, very gentle voice, and a hollow laugh. She was always happy to see him smile, anyway.

"I had three I think, in an old fashioned," she said, indicating the size of the glass with her two open hands. She didn't really want to talk about what kind of time she'd had or any of that nonsense though...Rin was always in the present. She didn't like live out of it, mentally or otherwise. "How was dinner?" she asked chipperly, moving her weary arms to roundabout the table, take and rearrange the papers...weary arms...like a flash she remembered when Sesshoumaru had twirled her in blinding light, somebody in the background had been cheering, "Go! Go!"...

The memory came back in colors brighter and more vivid than fire and jewels, but she chose to ignore it and concentrated on the task at hand. Sometimes flashes of things would come back to her but she always pushed them away, or let them dance there while she moved physically in reality, and tried to get her mind off it.

"Wuz okay," Kohaku shrugged. "I mean, it was good- but Sango keeps doing this _stupid_ thing where every time I'm not looking she makes her hand crawl across the table like a _spider_." He rolled his eyes and dug a fork into his mound of cake. "She's so ridiculous," he said, muffled.

Rin let out a sunny laugh. "That's funny," she chimed, cooed. Kohaku looked up at her and his eyes shined and shimmered- she smelled like alcohol and smoke and body odor, but the way the light fell on her, it was almost hard to digest- his heart surged. Maybe the smells added to her charm...Her expressions changed faster than wind, too, and soon she was concentrating again on getting things cleaned up. She moved almost ethereally..."Where is she now?"

"She's on the couch," he said, "She got _knocked_ out _wasted_ with all that crap she drinks...she bought that bottle of wine over there on the counter." He indicated the kitchen with a shrug of his shoulder. "It tasted _sour_...you two boozers would like it, I guess."

Rin smiled at him, so disconcerted at the lonesome table...she left for the kitchen to heat up her food, and then ate with him...you could work her mood out by fractions: two-thirds of her was in this world, this lofty, loamy nighttime mood, this clean quiet dining table...the other third was in a world that hovered someplace between rare consciousness and an almost physical presence inside another, metaphysical world, a dreamlike state of mind, a hazy, colorful, commanding presence of mind, a dwelling in another world that was nowhere but inside...a hard feeling to explain. It was like looking at a screen cut in two, looking at both sides of the telephone-talkers...she was very much in both worlds. It was a weary, confusing state to be in, but she didn't mention it.

By the end of the meal they were both ready to sleep. "I guess Sango's staying over then," Rin said softly, making sure the front door was locked.

"Yeah," Kohaku answered, stretching. They went to the kitchen and cleaned up the dishes. "I'm beat. Let's go to bed."

Rin's ears picked up on the sly intonation, the subtle hint; "Yeah," she answered. He put his arm over her and his hand in his pocket. Sango was sleeping on the couch peacefully. The darkness came like prisms from the lace curtains that guarded the window. The bedroom was dark, stony with its implication; that presumptuous air seemed to sweep over the room like wind. They washed up, changed, then both crawled into bed.

Kohaku stretched his arm under her neck and felt calm, at peace. Rin was windy, wound up in this tranquil feeling. They laid there for a couple of minutes. The night air breathed down from the ceiling, the darkness stretched in all directions, the space pervaded; the breath of something sweet cooed and moaned from the windows and spun up in the wood floors.

Kohaku let out a breathy sigh and then inhaled that bitter stale scent of alcohol, that cloudy vague smell of cigarette smoke, that stinging scent of other bodies. In the hovering soft darkness he made his move; leaned over and caught her in a kiss and held its dark depth.

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Rin woke up the next day with a set of aching limbs that tingled and yelled soreness, but she got up anyway, hearing Kohaku fiddling around with the dresser drawers, the bathroom sink. It was 7:02. She washed up and put a shirt on and swung down into the living room, where Sango was still sleeping, and to the kitchen. She fried up some bacon and poured cereal for the two of them.

"Morning," Kohaku said, with his black t-shirt on.

"Morning," Rin answered cheerfully. They had breakfast like usual; Kohaku complained about something and then went to work, walking round to that corner where he kept his beat up dark green car. She wondered what kind of car Sesshoumaru had, scratched her head, let out a yawn, and went back to bed until eleven.

Into the sunny living room, after a dark shower/wash-up. In the spilling daylight, like shards of yellow, Sango was still sleeping, a small living being. Rin tried to clean everything quietly enough that Sango wouldn't wake up. She cleaned the kitchen, played the country radio station softly on the counter. She was picking up the papers on the dining room table when she noticed that manila envelope again. It was from her sister, from Arizona. The handwriting seemed unbelievable. She brought the envelope back to the bedroom and opened the seal, shook out its contents: some pictures of the Grand Canyon and its people, a burned CD in a pink envelope, and a glistering postcard that had few sweet words written on its white back in neat, straight, loopy black handwriting.

She looked over them for a while, then set them aside; fixed the shoes on the rack...read a magazine while Slim Whitman cooed, "Please help me I'm faaaalllin'/ In loooove with yooo-ooou/ Close the door to temptaaaa-tion/ Don't let me throuugh..."

Then she looked at her watch and was stunned to find it was three-ten _already_. She sped off back into the bedroom and threw on her shorts, got her stuff; while she was hurrying out she spotted Sesshoumaru coming near through the dining room window. She moved like a whirl, blasted clean through she door.

A gale-like smooth breeze hit her as she swung the door open. The sun glared white from overhead and stabbed back from its reflection on the street and sidewalk. She jumped down the steps and her knees almost bucked, but she settled down anyway. Sesshoumaru's hair was blown to his right; he walked serene, like he was trudging through a swamp but roughing it anyway. He inspired some of the weirdest but best metaphors.

As he came nearer she noticed he was carrying two white packages. "Hey-oh!" she called from the stoop. She laughed but knew he wouldn't be hard on her for being funny. He came up to the gate and she came down to its breathy stop, and he handed her one of the packages...which turned out to be a wrapped pretzel. "Sweet! Thank you."

"Thought I'd return the consideration," he said under his breath, looking at her coolly.

"I started late today...anyway I haven't even _started_," she said, picking up the watering can. "Oh man! I forgot drinks. Be right back." She ran inside, came back out with drinks. "I have leftover coffee," she said, handing him a mug, "You drink coffee?" He shrugged and brushed the question off. She picked up the watering can again. "How'd you get home last night?"

"Fine," he answered.

"How much was it? Jeez, you live pretty far away from me," she said.

"Eh," he replied, "Twenty dollars or less."

"Jeez! You must be rich," she decided, nodding.

"Rich enough," he said.

"Oh myah?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Y_eah_," he answered, his tone dropping slightly. He was squinting in the sunlight; his mouth was turned down. He looked like he wanted to get to _winter_ already.

They talked for a while; then he started to fidget a little. He had realized long ago that he was now looking into the bottom of an empty cup. And while Rin wasn't bothered with this he was pretty annoyed. She was going to ask him why he looked so restless, but before a word flew out he was getting up to his feet, saying, "I'm going to get more coffee."

Rin paused and looked up at him as he undid the gate with some difficulty and then stepped out of it. She walked behind him, the gate swung and hit her in the hip. A breeze shouted up ahead.

"Am I supposed to follow you?" she asked airily, with some strange tone of discontent. She hadn't meant to say, "Am I supposed to," but it had just come out; she'd rather have said, "Do you want me to," but it came out in a strange way.

He didn't even pay attention to the quick weird wording and said to her, "Do what you like."

Her hand shot out to catch the gate, as she said, "Okay, well lemme get my purse," and turned.

"I'll pay for you," he said as though reminding her. He looked at her placidly.

Rin paused. Her hair swayed behind her. "Well, where're we going?" she asked, locking the door and gate. She came up to his side.

"Around the corner, two blocks down," he answered. They walked together- two card players moving in the street.

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Inside this shop Rin won the attention of many a clandestine eye, even through the musky darkness of the place. It looked like a vodou hideaway, a little shop of fauna horrors. The couches looked like velvet mold; a sensual light steamed in from diamond-patterned windows. Shady characters huddled around like roaming embarrassed insects. There were plants all over the place. Green, brown, white, pink, black, dark, bright, all there- most hanging from the ceiling. There weren't any lights, just the slight sun coming through, but she spotted long neon-type lights on the ceiling. The people here were shady, had dark faces like masks, were somebody, everybody, anybody, and nobody all at the same time, and had suspicious expressions. Sesshoumaru was the only exception- he looked like he belonged, but he looked like he transcended- he looked like the king of all of this. Like a solid apparition he glowed around throughout.

It smelled like coffee in here, and lots of it. Sesshoumaru told her to go get a table and she decided on one in a corner, with some light from a nearby window. She got chap stick from her pocket, smeared it over her mouth, put it back.

Sesshoumaru by the counter signaled for her when the coffee was ready. She took her cup and he took his. "Drink it black?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He nodded.

There was a simple pause that hovered stale in the air. Then Rin looked at him with a sly smile. "So?"

"So what?"

"So whatya wanna talk about?" she answered, waving a fanning hand over her steaming cup of coffee.

"I don't," he answered. Oh, his words- they resounded like power itself and then came from all directions, dazzled and knocked her clean out of her body. Here was the truth, wrapped in him, in front of her. She smiled.

"'Sokay if I talk?"

"Go ahead."

"Icky. Sick. You see those two girls at that table?" she gestured subtly with her finger, "They just drank from some man's cup. When he wasn't looking anyway. Now they're mulling 'round and looking for another one."

Those two girls had white-blonde heads, rings of eyeliner, low-slung shirts, nervous shy looks,...a Jew walked in with a violin, and started to play by the door. The murmur of the crowd got more clustered and breathy, louder, too.

"Somebody should put them down," he observed apathetically.

"Or kick 'em out," she answered. He nodded. "Oh...he's playing Django Reinhardt." His eyes flicked up to her face. "He was a French gypsy jazz player," she continued.

"Me too," he shrugged, taking another sip.

"CD? DVD?" a Korean lady asked, standing next to their table, pushing some thin-covered CDs toward them.

"No thanks," Rin said.

"Me too," he said again, sighing lightly and looking at his phone for the time.

Rin laughed. "Hahaha, me neither." He had this sort of really subtle and ridiculous sense of humor, a kind of abstract sense of humor.

"Me three," a man with hungry eyes at a nearby table pointed out factually.

"Anyone include you?" Sesshoumaru asked aloofly. The man just shrugged in despondency...Rin looked at Sesshoumaru confused. Actually, when she thought about it, anytime she'd seen him interact with others, he'd been pretty mean about it. Well, not mean. He just wasn't nice. He didn't feel he had to suffer others. He ignored the intimacy of communication that people eagerly offered him. She hoped to never get on his bad side. But she ignored his attitude and kept any irrelevant thoughts to herself. If he was mean, fine. He was paying for her coffee after all, and she didn't have any right to intrude on him besides.

"That's a song," Rin said, turning to him with her eyes on fire from the idea that had just come to her. "'Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus.' By Serge Gainsbourg. It means, 'I Love You...Me Neither.' I guess he didn't like it when people said 'Me too.'"

Sesshoumaru shrugged, considering it. He kept his eyes slung low and his head keen about the coffee. When they left, they caught the eye of a pretty blonde hatcheck girl by the counter.

They were waiting for some man with a walker to struggle through the door before they could move on. The pretty blonde looked up at Sesshoumaru. She smiled and said warmly, "I _love_ O Magazine." He stared at her patiently and insistently as if waiting for her to go on. She shook her magazine to indicate it and then went back to reading it.

Then the orchestra struck up. "What do you like about it? The dumbing down of American culture?" he asked, turning his head in consideration. The woman fell from her warm high to a cold audience. She looked dumbfounded and offended.

Rin saw this. They went back out the door, and Rin almost cried laughing. "You're a behemoth!" she yelled to him. The look on his face was now open, washed over with a new thought, almost amused. She wished she could take a picture of it- it made his nose, his eyes, his mouth, even better to look at. But she wasn't laughing for long. A final thought had nagged her back in that cafe, had stuck with her and clung its dark fingers to her clothing like a pleasant suckfish. It wasn't bad; it was just true. They continued on, the breeze blew.

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"Wow! And only thirty minutes," Rin breathed, as the house coaxed into view. A coffee scent draped around her, an invisible veil of it. "It feels like autumn's coming on," she thought seriously, looking up at the sky. She was going to look at him, but then she felt something jolt her step- stop it abruptly, then she felt the weight hurtling forward; she must've tripped, she stuck her hands out. But then she felt herself stop again.

Both his hands were on her shoulders, one supporting her and the other just lingering there. She laughed it off somewhat nervously and stood up..."Oh thanks," she said. She still felt his hand on her shoulder-

Then another thought like a dark angel came as realization. His face was looking into hers with some foreign look that intruded on some sense of distance that she had established yesterday. Rin took his arm and laid it down, but as soon as she did it she was hit with the stab of a feeling that it had sent the reverse message. "Thankyou," she muttered under her breath.

He had raised his head slightly, in some kind of understanding mixed with an unveiled pride, haughtiness, and nodded. Inside she flushed with embarrassment, nervousness, and a rosy burning feeling. Her eyes darted like a thief, to see if anyone _else_ saw.

They finally reached the house, and the gardening things were laying around obviously untouched. Oh God, she wished she could be more subtle. She turned to him at first with a set expression but then laughed quietly. "Look, I didn't even do any work," she said with a weary tone.

"Did I keep you?"

"Nah, I kept me," she said, putting her hands in her back pockets. That question- as though he didn't know, didn't realize. Then again...how could that be his fault when she had free will? It occurred to her more than once that he was a hypnotist, a magician, could freely hold a spell over you and break it at once. "Thanks for the coffee, though. I liked that place."

He shrugged. "Any time," he said, and waved, already beginning the journey off.

"Bye, have a good day," she crooned, waving, too, taking up the spade so she could dig out some weeds.

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Inside there was a stinging clean, creamy smell hanging all through the rooms. It felt like someone was baking something. Rin put her things away and heard Sango say, "Hi Rin!" She walked into the kitchen to check out what was going on.

Sango was washing dishes. "Hi Sango," Rin said, "Thanks for washing the dishes."

"No problem- sorry I stayed so late- I baked a cake to make up for it- it's in right now," she said, busy with scrubbing the blackened remnants of some dish.

"It's not okay, get out," Rin muttered. She laughed darkly.

"Haha," Sango answered. "Hey where were you?" A nerve shot up in Rin and tensed- _that_. "I didn't see you around."

"Oh, that guy went and took me out to get coffee," Rin answered, distracting herself by flipping through a magazine she found on the counter.

"Oh seriously? Wow, you make friends so quick," Sango answered, turning off the water. She dried her hands on the stove towel. "I'm jealous," she hummed to herself, and then sighed, "I find it so hard to speak to people."

Rin flicked a crumb off the counter. "Nah, you just don't get the right moment," she said.

"I'm not so sure of that," Sango smiled sadfaced. Her voice trailed off. Rin wondered at the fact that everyone had their secret sadness.

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Meatloaf and mashed potatoes were on the table tonight. Kohaku looked in disbelief. "You went _out_ with this guy?"

"Yeah," Rin shrugged, playing it down.

"Jeez, I wish _I_ could meet him- there must be something to him," he grumbled, "'Cause all I see is a big emotionless ice cube."

"Hey," Rin laughed.

"It's true- you make friends with the weirdest people," Kohaku nodded knowingly, eating more. "Like Miroku? That guy is a merv and a half. He's nice, but he's _pervy_ to a maximum."

"He's okay- I mean he never says anything to _me_ at least," Rin answered, looking over her food.

"He's kinda cool though," Kohaku admitted.

She paused. "Oh that reminds me! I gotta go see him tomorrow."

Kohaku's brow furrowed. "How come? That secretary?"

"She's out for a wedding or something- and he just wants me to come over tomorrow," answered. "He's always busy-"

"What's he do anyway?" Kohaku asked.

"I dunno- I think he does some kind of networking- he never really says much about it," Rin shrugged. All she had to do was answer a phone anyway and write down some stuff- which wasn't as easy as it sounded, because the phone rang out the cradle, and the writing was furiously done. Everybody needed an appointment, everyone was crazy for Miroku, some girls called and left nervous laughing messages- it seemed like it was the cornerstone for hustling, like it was the big bucks H.Q. for everyone who was trying to make a dime or something more in the city. It was interesting work, anyway. She did the dishes and went to bed.

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After breakfast with Kohaku she whipped out her wallet and donned her jeans and stepped out onto the bright morning. She called a taxi over and got in, gave directions. She was half-asleep and half-wide awake, hot in the small sun that came from the windows. The driver let her off at the big glass building in Whitestone. It looked like a doctor's office- a small squat stucco building, wide glass windows with black frame- you could see a steel staircase from outside, white windows. A black sign with white lettering rattled off names of different doctors and lawyers until you got to, Office of Mr. Miroku Hoshi. Ominous, and the guideline for people who already knew what they were looking for.

She went up the bright stairs and into the cherrywood office.

"Go away Rin," chimed a singsong smooth voice from a cavern of nowhere, could've been everywhere, "I told you already I don't believe in taxes. I don't believe in mortgages either so you're wasting your time. I also don't believe in money. Or friendship. So yer outta luck."

"Well this is a stick-up- I'mma take the money any which way I can," Rin answered, waiting by the door. "I'll rob the friendship too..."

"Every which way but _loose_, that is," Miroku answered with a chuckle. Miroku should've been an actor, with his personality- always improvising a situation, always at the forefront, awake and wide open. He rolled out of his small office on his chair. "Hello, Rin!- Rin, what a lily you are- what a woman you've become! You're what, twenty?"

"Yeah," she answered, smiling down at him.

"Barely _legal_," he grinned.

"Bare enough to get attention..." she answered, her eyes darting around the room. Nothing seemed out of place. The chairs in the waiting room were still crummy red, the desk still polished to a T, sun everywhere, white walls, magazines...some other rooms, Miroku's office at the end of the hall.

"I can barely control myself," he said, "But you belong to Kohaku, eh? Why don't you take a seat, _Taken_."

She sat down at the secretary's desk. A stress penguin was on the desk and a feathered pen, about the only things the secretary had left. He wheeled into the waiting room and picked up a magazine. "Hey, could you cancel my appointment with this guy named Token? His number's in the Roledex..."

"Yeah, how come?"

"Tell him I don't want to speak to him...forget that. Tell him something came up. I've been set on fire and I can't cater to him at the moment."

Rin laughed. "Okay..."

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She was spacing out in the middle of the day. Everything seemed more exciting than what she was doing. Some people were milling around the waiting room but she wasn't even half there; she was a fourth there. An _eighth_ there. Nothing was appetizing about this work.

Near the end of the day thing got a little more interesting, but not much. Inuyasha had come in. Everyone knew Inuyasha, wherever you went. She knew him from before, from when he was involved with her sister...he made some kind of half-sign of acknowledgment and then was escorted into Miroku's office.

She heard him say something like, "Tch, how should _I_ know?" in a very calmly annoyed voice. Miroku laughed and said something else. "...party."

Inuyasha left and Miroku came out. "Anything else for me to do?"

She looked at the schedule. "Nope. That's it."

"You look bored stiff. Maybe we could go out and you could relax your limbs a little." He smiled slyly. Miroku was very charming, the kind of person who attracts people easily.

She laughed. "No. I gotta go home."

"I admire you. Hey, here's the deal with Inuyasha," he said, leaning on the desk as she gathered up her purse and her light coat, "I network for a company. His parents are throwing a grand _fete_ for that company. The way I see it, the more people, the better, so you and Kohaku can bring your friends to this little shindig. I'll call you with the news later."

"Oh, okay," she answered, every finger aching for home. She started in a stride towards the door. "Seeya then, Miroku."

"What! No kiss goodbye! I'm both shocked and appalled," Miroku answered, "Fine then. Leave me cold alone."

"I'll mail you a blanket- seeya," she waved from the hall.

"Have a good one." The light slanted closed- the hallway was dark.

She went down the stairs- hollow lonely rattling footsteps on a steel frame staircase. Through the halls. It was nine 'o' clock, dark black outside. Cars whirled by. And as she got out on that breezy street, the first thing she recalled was- oh- she hadn't called Sesshoumaru to say she wouldn't be there!

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Kohaku was lying sleeping like a log sprawled out on the mattress when she got home. No sunshine tonight. Jewels and flame, rain and shine. She picked up the receiver and dialed the phone number.

An automated voice message system started to speak to her, but then she heard a rustle and click. Her consciousness heightened. "Hello?"

"Hi Sesshoumaru-" She paused. "This is Rin." She was expecting an answer, but only silence from across the city. She could feel the miles of lights between them and yet couldn't feel it at all, and felt more real and in life than she had all day. "Sorry I didn't call you to tell you I wouldn't be out today. I forgot. I hadda go to work today. It was kind of boring."

"No apology needed," he answered, about as coldly as you can say that.

"Thanks." She paused. What else to say? She felt like she had at the first- how do you maintain a conversation with a stranger? The phone was a new playing field. "I'm sleepy. I think you are too. I'll see you soon. Goodnight."

"Night," he answered. That was all the thanks she needed.

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_A/N_: So thanks and keep on comin'!


	4. Some People Wish For Things

_A/N_: Oh, I keep forgetting to put a disclaimer. Well anyway, the series Inuyasha doesn't belong to me; nothing it encompasses belongs to me. The chapter titles are also not mine- oh and most of the lines in Spanish for this chapter are also not mine. If they ever are mine, I'll say so. Anyway, continuation of Chapter 3. Not much else to say. Thanks to everyone who reviewed & favorited.

**Langus**- I think no one's read it because it's so long. Anyway, thanks so much for the review- it was really cool to read, so thanks a lot. By the way, I tried to look up that thing you told me about, but I couldn't find it. I searched but it kept telling me, "No results." I guess I'll try later. Well, enjoy!  
**Chranze**- The plot is rolling like a tennis ball and unfolding like a long long carpet. Thanks for the review!  
**Deardesolate**- Thanks a bunch!!! Enjoy the chapter.  
**Rinya-sesshoumaru**- I guess twenty is kinda young, but anything older would've seemed weird to me, and kind of blotchy. Yeah, you just about guessed it- so here it is!  
**Tupelo Theif**- Ah, you. You're so nice to me! Yeah, well, there're more funny lines to come in this chapter, that I think you'll like...that is if you even READ it, slowpoke- when you get back I guess. That coffee shop gets a little important later on.You don't command me to do shit! I am a lawless nation. 

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_Chapter 4: Some People Wait For Things That Never Come, And Some People Dream of Things That Never Been Done_

The rain outside was like a torrent, like an apparition...by the way the trees looked you would almost think it was summer. She looked out the window- it tore away the trees, ripped swirls through the air, cut the leaves...The rain moved like a white cloud, like a school of fish. It was almost disconcerting to look at. She had to look away...but it pattered softly on the window, like a knock on the bedroom door.

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Rin was eating a piece of chocolate cake by the door, looking around her; a keenness in her eyes even in the dim dining room light, low like a setting sun. Kohaku was in another room. "So what kinda dress code is this?"

"I dunno, I guess a little fancy," Rin answered, calling through the openings in the rooms.

"Like no tie or anything right?"

"I don't think so."

"_Good_," he breathed heavily from the bedroom, relieved. Rin laughed at the table- Kohaku made a big deal over such little things. That was probably the funniest thing about him. There was a hefty pause, and then she heard a discontented grumble: "You _know_, this shirt always gives me such _difficulty_. Just goddamn button, would you! It's like...why are these buttons so small _anyway_?...Could you help me out here?" He asked it like a desperate hound.

Rin had already gotten up to throw out her paper plate anyway, was now moving through the shadows and shapes of the mingled light. The bright afternoon wind lit up the living room, but where there were no windows everything existed in vagueness. The bedroom door was open, and Kohaku stood by the dresser, having some obvious difficulty with his shirt- you could tell by the entirety of the frustration in his brow. He turned to her and looked almost grateful. "Hey," he laughed, "I thought you were going to leave me to perish to these buttons."

She smiled and took the front of his shirt, looked over the tiny black buttons, and set to work. "This is a nice shirt...who bought you this?" she asked, moving down.

"I think Sango...only Sango would make me _suffer_ with this," Kohaku answered. Rin laughed. Kohaku grinned- in the dim light he looked hungrier than ever. As Rin finished and turned to move out he caught her in a clamping hug. She laughed smally and pushed him off her. He sighed, a little disappointed. "Hey, you're not even dressed yet."

"What?...oh, I just don't want my jeans to stretch out," Rin answered as they went past the living room into the kitchen.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Like...when you wear them and then you walk, they stretch out..." She tried to explain what she meant. "They're not so tight is what I mean. They get all wrinkly."

"Oh," Kohaku answered, pouring through the fridge as Rin sat down. "You wear the tightest jeans I've ever _seen_...they look like _stockings_. Skinny jeans I guess. Not that I mind." Rin laughed. "At least you don't wear _nerd_ jeans."

She was glad that Kohaku had taken the day off. He had gotten so fed up with work that he'd decided to throw the hammer and the slate down and get down to start having some fun. They were going to that party, at the convention center in Queens...in one of those well-foliaged areas of Queens. It was three 'o' clock, seemed coming quick onto night. They'd have to leave pretty soon...

Rin got up and got dressed, fooled around with Kohaku for a while, and then Sango came to complete the party. Rin put on her hat. They laughed for a little bit, made then rounds, and then descended to the corner to hop in the car and drive off...

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After the traffic they reached the convention center- a huge stately building, with columns stretching along its front. There was a yard in front of its concrete mass, a paved square with a globe-shaped fountain...it was made up in light gray hues and dark onyx blacks, concrete lavender throughout. On top of it, a billboard stood like a movie screen. The sky hung ahead like a blue veil, like a drape. From outside you could hear nothing.

They shoveled out of the car, walked through the parking lot past the yard and to the front door. Rin looked like a shadow in blacks and grays; Sango had on short purple sleeves and dark jeans. Rin took out the invitation at the front door.

The doorman looked her over with indifferent distaste. "No hats," he said, indicating her.

"What?"

"No hats allowed."

"Oh, okay," she said, taking hers off. Then she had to go all the way back to the car and put it in the back while they waited because they had no hatcheck. No hats? Where had _that_ come from? She brushed it off, and then they came through the doors, as the man let them in with a depressing disinterest...

The party room was through a door on the right. "Place is _huge_," Kohaku marveled, holding Rin's hand.

"I think I went to a concert here once," Sango mused, her voice echoing through the hollow hall. An old couple in ballroom attire cast suspicious glances their way.

"I guess this is the room," someone said. There was a small foyer-type area, plush red carpet with gold vines running through it, some small Greek-type fixtures- the whole room done in dark red and gold. They had to show their invitation again to a friendly doorman with a conductor's cap. The light seemed to shine up from the floor and light faces from below, from a golden light that was fixed into the walls and the carpet, bouncing off of every surface...the area was quiet. Even among this decadence, though, Rin had an eerie feeling that she didn't have any of the charge that she had felt in the days before. It had deserted her and waved from the train. It was strange, but she felt like she could not be here and it would feel all the same. Creepy feelings like this had been getting to her lately.

The doorman let them in with a wink in his eye and showed them the expanse of the party room- it was like a rain of light had showered the room, from the bright chandeliers to the wall fixtures. There was nothing to be seen- just broad shapes and figures bathed in this light, in a floating pink feeling that swung with the music like gentle wind and then came up from its depths to show like glory. They stepped in, three wonder-filled travelers with starry looks on their faces.

"Oh wow, this is nice," Sango mused, looking up.

Rin scouted the room. It was a big room- she could hardly tell where it ended. There was a buffet...some tables lying around in a loose pattern...a dance floor. The music swung like heavy jazz. Everyone was milling around in the madness of it. Some high-style figures had emerged from their cavelike houses to check out the action...everyone smiled, everyone danced, everyone talked- it looked like an orgy of jackals, a debutante's ball, and a Pepsi Youth Get-Together all at the same time, its atmospheres grossly mingled- but through it, a simple light shone that made Rin like it. They stepped around, when all of a sudden like a whirlwind Miroku appeared in front of them. "Rin!" he yelled at her, moving through the crowd.

The floating feeling lingered high in the air, made thought impossible, stunned the senses...gave a romantic feeling to the day. Miroku came up to her. "Hi Rin- I knew you'd come," he said, but she wasn't as bothered by his hug or as glad to see him as she was _puzzled_ at the fact that he was wearing a _monstrous_ hat- a huge mad hatter's tophat that was brown and decorated with flowers. She looked up at it almost to _distraction_.

"Kohaku's here too!"

"Yeah, and this is Sango," she said, gesturing to her.

Miroku's eyes flicked over her, at first in keeping with the starry wonder of the room...but then the look in his eyes was hungry- almost _dangerous_. He grinned. "So _you're_ Kohaku's sister," he said, with a mild, rational tone.

"Ah, yes," Sango answered with an obviously uncomfortable tone. Somehow Miroku had enveloped her in a conversation and Kohaku had drifted away toward the buffet.

There was a pause. "Did you see his _huge_ hat?" Kohaku finally said in disbelief.

"I guess that guy just didn't like my hat..." Rin answered, with a small smile. The room was like misty roses, like bubbling champagne.

"Hey cutie, come dance with me!" some guy with a slight New York accent asked her as she grabbed a cracker. She laughed and went on. Kohaku followed, strained and worried. When the guy cut it a little _too_ close to her and Rin looked visibly uncomfortable, Kohaku cut in to save the day...

"You attract the _creepiest_ people," Kohaku laughed, spinning her to the music.

"I guess so..." she answered, looking over his shoulder...she saw Inuyasha milling around. A girl was talking to him- it looked like she was trying to sell him something, and he just wasn't buying. He rolled his eyes slightly...

She looked back to Kohaku. Kohaku, human frail, was looking better than ever, his face flushed red...he was a really good dancer. She had never realized that, but he was. He had a certain concentration about him though, and not the same fluidity as...

She shook the thought from her head and concentrated on the dance. As they moved around she spotted a girl with wavy brown hair throwing up in one of the ice buckets, and someone else nearby frantically moving to try and save the bottle in it, but to no avail. Then a fight broke up...

She spotted Miroku talking to Sango, and saw Sango laugh- the first in a while...From the big bay window high up, you could see the jewel sun setting, and see its dusky colors mingling with the night...she wasn't feeling any energy. She was just absorbing it. She definitely wasn't there, not at all.

"Let's go get something to eat," she suggested, wanting to call it quits for a while. Kohaku followed her through the softly moving masses that gathered around the dance floor like zombie beggars. There was an assortment of table foods- crackers, all colors of cheese, grapes, chicken sandwiches...the general kind of stuff they served at parties. She grabbed one of the black plates near the drink glasses, and moved down the line. Then she looked to her left- and realized who she was standing next to. Inuyasha, his clothing much less memorable than his face. He looked at the food as if to say- "What the _Hell_ is _this_ shit?" She decided not to say anything, until he said, "Oh, you."

"Hi, Inuyasha," she answered nonchalantly, keeping her eyes partly on him to see his reactions.

"Nice outfit," he mumbled.

"Thanks."

"Kohaku here? Oh, there he is," he said, craning his head over her shoulders. He looked out of place- Inuyasha looked like what he was: a street slicker, an outdoor animal. Although, he didn't mention anything about...

"Did you see Miroku's fucking _hat_?"

Rin laughed. "Yeah, I did. They told me no hats at the door."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "He probably _imposed_ that rule so no one would stand him up, that fucking _queen_."

"Hey, Inuyasha," Kohaku said, as though surprised.

"Yeah," Inuyasha greeted unenthusiastically. She looked into his face- he looked like a painting, the quiet food behind him...he looked like his bones had hollowed out, like a drill had been put through his chest. But there was something familiar in his eyes- an image flashed before her eyes, in bright colors, deathlike tones, like a burst of thought- she knew that she'd seen something about them someplace "I gotta go watch for my stupid brother. Seeya."

"Bye," Rin answered. She had never known he had a brother. Anyway, talking to Inuyasha hit her like a gale- had knocked her back five notches to a time when everything was dark as a well. Nothing too dramatic, but after all that stuff that she'd seen and heard, she was surprised.

"He don't look too bad," Kohaku shrugged.

"Yeah, he looks okay," she shrugged back.

Sango came up behind them, breathless. "That guy is a fucking _pervert_," she said, with the asperity that she rarely let escape from her lips, that same toughness that she kept hidden from the public eye.

Rin and Kohaku exchanged laughs. "It's not funny," Sango said roughly, "He grabbed me every place you can _imagine_. And then he asked me to have a baby with him. What the Hell- he must have mental issues! What kind of psychopath would _ask_ those things! Rin-"

"Yeah, I know," Rin answered, smiling broadly.

"Don't be so happy about it- I'm suffering," Sango laughed, suddenly good-hearted.

Rin just smiled. "I want to dance," Sango answered, looking shyly at the dance floor. "Would you dance with me?"

Kohaku whined. "No, I don't want to-"

"Oh, suck it up, you big baby," Sango laughed, pushing him roughly.

"Owch Sango! Why don't you keep your big man hands to yourself!" Kohaku snapped.

"Man hands! You little jerk," Sango said, slapping him.

Kohaku laughed. "Keep your big banana hands away from me," he jeered.

"Come on, dance with me- I'll find a partner later," she said, poking him in the shoulder.

Kohaku winced. "Oi, whatever. Fine. You gonna be okay?" he asked Rin.

Rin nodded and watched them go off into the light. Over here by the buffet table, it was dim and smoky- you could smell sweet cigar smoke hanging in the air, drifting from some unknown place. Some guys drifted to the buffet, and she got into a conversation about the blues with them.

"The blues man, that's where it's at!" insisted one guy with a big birdlike nose and cropped hair.

"Memphis Slim is totally showbizzy- why not Arthur Tate or something?" the blonde guy asked, looking at Rin, "That's where you go when you _seriously_ like blues."

"No way, Memphis Slim is one of the greatest pianists _ever_," the redhead disagreed calmly.

"Yeah, I like Memphis Slim," Rin agreed.

"Okay. Whatever. What about Lightnin' Hopkins?" the blonde asked.

Rin paused. "What about him?"

"Well do you think he's showbizzy or not?"

"...No, not really," Rin answered with a shrug. "Well...it's tough. You have to appeal to an audience, too, if you're going to make a living...there's nothing wrong with being popular...it's not like he turned over his soul to the jukebox. Like, if you've ever heard 'Stool Pigeon Blues,' you wouldn't think that for a second. Plus he worked with Brownie McGhee...I mean, I don't know- it's all opinions."

They laughed at the jukebox comment. "But like, Blind Willie McTell? Blind Lemon Jefferson? King of the Delta Blues? _Leadbelly_?"

"Well...nothing wrong with them, either," she said, confused as to the distinctions they were making. They finished up talking about that and then said something about Ray Charles. The blonde pressed her for her number, but she had to turn around and tell him about Kohaku. He went away disappointed.

Ah, now the night was on, you could see the stars in the windows that were high above head. They mixed with the pink swirls of the setting sun. The room itself seemed to darken. She was wrapped in these stars. She made her way over to the bathroom.

She maneuvered through the crowd. As she wandered around, her eyes flickered to the door- she saw a tall figure, and then started to move.

But wait- she did a double-take, and had a heart attack right there. A spark had ignited and now the fire had charged through the door and it was- Sesshoumaru! Voluntary movement almost stopped and left in its place dreams, and abstract floating. Sesshoumaru- what the- how had he- she stopped and stared. He was wearing a gray silk shirt, hung loose- you could see a little more than usual...his jeans were dark. He was like a basket of fireworks, a calm lake, the deep ocean, the rough wind...Was that really him? He carried something about him that had stuck on from the setting sun and yesterday's heavy rain...

She started to move again- what was she going to do? She felt like ducking behind the tables. She also felt like moving up to talk to him, but how was she supposed to do that? To walk up to him and start a conversation would be unseemly, and it wouldn't make any sense. It would feel like a death march to walk to him, just to see that look on his face, in his eyes- to see an icy judge, or else see a fearfully beckoning placidity...In a blur she saw another figure come closer to him and begin talking to him. He looked like he wasn't even _bothering_ to be there. She decided she'd see him later and charged right on into the bathroom.

She waked shaking and awkward through the crowd and to the bathrooms, in a gold alcove near the microphone...without thinking she charged into the door-

Now there was silence, nothing but the dim implication of music beyond the door and a stifling, cavern-like quiet like hot pressure in this bathroom. She didn't even notice what it was like- it was a concrete cave for all she knew. She used the toilet, then came out and turned the water on to wash her hands. Her heart calmed itself, however insufficiently. She reflected on what had just happened, trying to keep her head in vain. That was useless, 'cause the only head she had to keep was busy being spun up in dreams. Lightning had struck her nerves. All that charge and energy had come back to her in the second that she saw him- had she seen him at all? It was a strange and impressive coincidence that he should be at the same party. He was dressed slick- something to match the night...she tried to calm herself down. It wasn't right or seemly to be this excited. Her fingers were shaking, and a heat had come over that put a dewy sweat on the back of her neck. She looked in the mirror for a split second but then brought her eyes back down. Eventually the pounding feeling stopped, and so did the hot shaking. It only left the ghost of a trembling heart in the shadows. In fact, the quiet was like shadows- solitary. She breathed deeply, thought nothing more, and went out of the bathroom.

She opened the door, but then noticed toilet paper stuck to her shoe- how embarrassing. She shook it off, simultaneously holding the door. After some difficulty she let the door swing close. Then the men's room door opened and who came out but- Sesshoumaru.

For a moment they exchanged a stare. He looked down at her, and she up at him. It seemed like it would be too much to speak- but then Rin let herself talk. "Hi, Sesshoumaru," she said, with a quick smile.

"Hello," he answered.

No explanations were needed. They were both there, and that was it. He blinked once calmly- she moved past the door, to imply that they should walk. He followed close behind and soon appeared to be in the lead. "You know, back there- that's the first time I've seen you blink," she said, laughing.

"Is it?" he asked, his disinterested tone contrasting with the slightly amused look on his face.

"Yeah- you know people are more apt to trust people who don't blink," she continued, "I guess subconsciously. Wanna eat something?"

"Fine," he shrugged. The lights played on his face and cut it at weird angles; it reflected off his shirt subtly, making him worth looking at for more than a minute...but her thoughts raced from this. By the buffet they had a short conversation:

"Did you go to work yesterday?" she asked.

"No," he answered.

"I figured you hadn't, because it was raining so hard," she nodded. "It was like a torrent..."

"Storm winds from the south," he answered. You could close your eyes and his voice would come from bands of water, from out of stony time and silky earth...that thing about him that she loved had come out from the dirt and risen like a bird out to meet the day.

"There's a hurricane down there?"

"Might as well be."

Her eyes wandered around the room. Inuyasha was talking to Miroku, who could be seen from fifty yards away with that ridiculous hat. She couldn't see Kohaku or Sango anywhere. She wondered who else could be here- amid the anonymous faces, it seemed as though everyone she knew had come together.

"What is this party for anyway?" she asked distractedly.

"Nothing," he answered. It may as well have been. She knew it had a point but it was really, like he said- nothing. She looked back at him. No vagueness in his face- everything concise and clear.

"I'd dance," she said, laughing a little, "But the music they're playing is really lame."

"This is a pretty lame party," he answered, factually- suddenly that _leaning_ feeling came back- an insinuation- then the insinuation became clear when he said, "We can leave," with a casual tone.

Every nerve froze and then went on high alert- she didn't know what to say. It was rare that he spoke so directly, or with such direct intention- usually there was none of this. Even though he spoke nonchalantly, it seemed as though a choice was to be made. She didn't even smile. Her eye just wandered up to his- she started to say, "I...I donno." It seemed as though it were just an off-hand comment, but given her personality and his, it seemed more like command to come to arms.

He looked at her as though demanding an explanation. When you mess with the king you better have a good reason. She swallowed, then moved closer to him. "I mean...I would like to, but I came with people...also...we can stay here," she pointed out. "I'll make sure it doesn't get too lame. If it does, I'll get a way out." High-handed promise, sweet in their intention. He nodded- this seemed a good enough explanation for him. Also, she wondered why he had come- probably out of some obligation. But to who?

Having a fluid conversation seemed _really_ difficult after that, partly because thoughts were racing around the same old track, and partly because that was so damn _awkward_. But Rin found an avenue out. "Speaking of music, what kind do you like? That's kind of a stupid question I guess," she said.

The look on his face told her to go on.

She thought. "Well, I mostly listen to...blues, country, some other stuff- it actually depends on what's good...like I listened to some blues songs by Cream- that band with ol' British what's-his-face...anyway, I didn't like them- they weren't the same. Lynrd Skynrd is kind of bad too...It's hard to do good blues covers."

He nodded. She started again, "Blues is pretty easy to dance to."

"Show me sometime," he answered, his tone cool and bored. His eyes wandered to her face.

She grinned. "Anytime." He returned the grin in his own way. She had to shake the feeling from her sometimes- had to remember just where her priorities were and just how easy it was to lead someone on. This seesaw, this balance act, was frustrating and enclosing. It was limiting, and sometimes it made Rin feel like a horse in a stable. She knew that the world didn't run along with her caprices, but all she asked was a little more legroom- a little more room to run with it.

While they were having one of these small conversations, Kohaku and Sango came back to join them. While Sango looked a little surprised and smiled, Kohaku looked like he was trying to put together a bunch of puzzle pieces that didn't fit. His expression was the easiest to read in the world. She turned to them. Rin knew they both recognized him; but he had never met them before. She became nervous. Sesshoumaru looked them over with a slight interest; Kohaku and Sango stared at them.

"Hi Rin," Sango started.

"Oh, hi guys- this is Sesshoumaru," she introduced, putting her hair behind her ear and moving cagily. "Sessho, this is my boyfriend, Kohaku- and his sister, Sango."

Sango shook his head. Then, looking strangely determined into each other's face, Sesshoumaru and Kohaku shook hands. Rin felt like the arbitrator between two boxers. Straight from the start, they regarded each other with such a funny striving that it was strange to look at.

She was nervous- her stomach was churning acid knots into itself, but she almost laughed. Kohaku was somewhere around 5'8", and Sesshoumaru had a good two or three inches on him, but he was looking at Sesshoumaru with such a fierceness and a confusion that it was like the mighty mouse versus the cat. Sango picked up on this right away and had to hide her smirk behind a glass of champagne. Rin was concentrating on her nervous, strange feeling, but caught a glimpse of Sango's champagne. "Hey, where did you get that?" she asked her.

"They're giving it out at the table over...there, by those speakers. See?" Sango said, pointing over to past the dance floor. Sango was like a refuge from the storm. When everyone else was in a tizzy or a turmoil, and when everything seemed like a well of fire, Sango was always the gentle shelter from it. Sango had suffered her own fires in the past, Rin knew that. Maybe that was why she was the way she was. Rin was always thankful for Sango.

Sesshoumaru and Kohaku had calmed down though- in reality, nobody is usually on fire for too long. "We should get some," Rin considered. She, Sango, Kohaku, and Sesshoumaru went to get champagne. They met Miroku by the speakers, but Inuyasha was nowhere to be found.

"How are you liking the party, everyone?" he asked, now donning weird glasses that made hypnosis eyes.

"Fine," Rin smiled.

"Glad to hear it," he grinned. "The dinner will begin in a while. They're putting together the tables out back." Out back? What out back? There was more to this humongous room? It was dizzying, the effects of this decadence and showy glamour. "I'll save you seats- by the _by_, have you seen that Inuyasha character anywhere?"

"I saw him by the buffet," Rin answered, "But I haven't seen him since."

"He's probably doing lines in his car," Miroku beamed. "Toodles- I'll see you cats later."

They huddled together. They had started to play dreamy ballroom music- not quite yet classical music- but floaty music that seemed white stars and gum. Everything felt especially pink.

"I want to dance again- I saw a good-looking guy on the floor," Sango said, looking over the dance floor.

"Did someone shoot him?" Rin smiled.

"You know what I mean," Sango giggled. "So Sesshoumaru, how did you and Rin meet?"

"On the street," he answered, looking past his shoulder to the crowd. They were bustling excitedly.

Sango smiled and nodded. She knew Sesshoumaru wouldn't want to talk much- he didn't seem the type, but she still wanted to be polite.

Rin noticed some tall leggy girls looking over, ogling Sesshoumaru and giggling. Probably because he was the only man in the room who topped them in height.

"Haven't I seen that guy before?" Sango asked, nodding over to some guy in the crowd.

"-Hey yeah he looks familiar," Kohaku answered, putting his hands in his pockets.

Rin couldn't recall the face. A motorcycle rumbled to a start somewhere outside. Just as Sango had decided to dance again, Miroku's smooth voice echoed and was magnified over the microphone, telling everyone to come through the doors in the back to the dining hall. The masses of people went; Rin and the group were stuck behind, held still by aggressive people. They were betting on the fact that Miroku had saved them seats, anyway. Behind a group of chattering men and nervous women, they finally entered the dining hall. There were not as many lights, but one art-deco chandelier that made the room lit as if by firelight. The tables were long and rectangle, covered with long white tablecloths. There were three tables, collinear to one another. There were some tables by the door whose functions were unnamable. Most of the people were sitting; they saw Miroku with his absurd hat laying on the table, waving them over to the table in the middle. They sat down; Sango next to Kohaku, and, across the table, Rin and Sesshoumaru. Miroku looked curiously at them, as though it were strange. "Oh, incidentally, Mission: Find Inuyasha was aborted. It was reported that he was seen listening to music in his car."

"Oh really?" Rin answered.

Sesshoumaru looked placid, was looking over the napkins and utensils with a gentle interest in his face, illuminated by the low lights, an intimate picture. "How do they get them like this?" Rin asked, touching his napkin.

"No idea," he said, holding the napkin, folded into a swan, interestedly. Kohaku likewise was looking at his and jabbering to Sango.

Everyone was seated; and if they weren't, that was too bad, because the doors were closed. Waiters milled around, a garcon asking, "Red or white? Red or white?" with a cloth around his cliché arm. A hushed murmur swayed and swirled over the tables, lifted everything up to a heady atmosphere.

Someone's glass clinked- it was Miroku's. He held the microphone to the glass, then lifted it up. "Evening," he said, smiling at the crowd. He looked born for publicity. He made a short speech; not very memorable, something along the lines of: "...come together...meeting of like minds...generously funded by Inutaisho and Izayoi..." They stood up at the first table and smiled; they were Inuyasha's parents, she recognized them. Some other kind of realization struck her when she saw Inutaisho- she had seen him before, but now he reminded her of something..."...and product unveiled...Totosai and his wife..." An old man with a welcoming smile and a younger woman with lines around her mouth stood up at the last table. "...Enjoy!"

Miroku sat down. The waiters poured everyone either red or white wine; the first course was served. "Owch- Sango quit it with that stupid ass spider thing!" Kohaku yelped. Sango cackled at her place. Miroku looked on with a surprisingly genuine smile. He'd not so subtly placed Sango's chair very near to his own. He was sitting in the middle of the table, where he could see all the action.

Sesshoumaru and Rin were talking about the napkin when some girl interrupted, speaking to the table at large. "I just _love_ this- I love these parties," she said. The light reflected waves on her long, spidery brown hair; her blue eyes were rimmed in black. "Good _job_, Miroku."

"Thanks, Sweet," Miroku clicked across the table with an animal's grin. Sango took the time to roll her eyes. Very strange.

"Yeah, Miroku- sweet party," someone else said.

"Thank you, thank you," he said, in response to the small laughing applaud, "I try."

There was some more talk about Miroku; actually, it had drifted to the right side of the table, where all the fashionistas were. They had busied themselves with a different kind of conversation on the left side.

"Oh yeah?" Kohaku was asking Sango, "I bet if I flung this fucking potato right in your eye you wouldn't be so confident about that."

"Oh, try it," Sango laughed.

"You're so stupid," Kohaku grumbled, picking at his food grudgingly.

"I'm not stupid- I'm a genius," Sango contradicted, giggling. Sango was a scream. She seemed to honestly have a great time tormenting her brother, for mysterious reasons. She looked across the table; Sesshoumaru and Rin were talking quietly, close to one another. She thought it so odd that they were friends after so short..."I see you walk by every day- do you work around the house?"

Sesshoumaru lifted his eyes, aware that the question was directed at him. There was something about him that was intimidating to Sango. Rin had felt it a little bit, but its vibrations weren't apparent to her. "Yes," he answered.

"What do you work as?" Kohaku asked, looking up from his plate for a moment.

"...A manager," he answered, raising his eyebrows slightly. Rin looked at him- you could tell by the look on his face that the interrogation was irritating him.

"Manager of what?" the spider-haired brunette asked.

"The careers of jumping frogs," he answered, swirling his drink a little bit. There was no reply, but Rin hid a wide grin behind her glass. He was just _great_, she thought. She figured that he didn't feel he had to dignify people's silly questions with straight answers. Well, power to him, then. His honesty was one of the best things about him. Something about the light added a gentleness to his face- the spider brunette kept staring at him over Rin's arms.

The second course was served. Rin heard a girl nearby say, "Ay, yo no escucho...la sirena de agua dulce..." She turned to Sesshoumaru. "Didja hear that?"

"What?"

"That girl just said in Spanish..." she began, and translated the sentence.

He nodded, as though he understood, like it was common knowledge. They understood the same things. They didn't need to talk much, because they both understood that words are cheap and the only things that counted were unspeakable. Even if that wasn't true, it was a basic truth that laid the groundwork for whatever building they were working at. They both listened to the sweet-voiced Spanish girl; "Dame un poco de tu aguacate..."

Rin laughed. Nothing was interesting at the table, except that Kohaku and Sango were having an extremely subtle food fight, which everyone watched for a minute or two. The brunette talked excitedly with Miroku.

"Debajo de la falda como un submarino..."

Third course, then dessert. Nothing special happened there. Soon everyone was getting up to dance anyway. Sesshoumaru stayed behind for a little bit, told Rin he'd see her later in so many words.

Rin and Kohaku went out for a breath of air, away from the stale perfume smell of the dance floor. Sango stayed behind and danced with some guy, until to her extreme aversion Miroku cut his way in, or forced his way in was more like it. Oh well. After a little exploration, Rin and Kohaku went and found a small area, near the kitchen, where they kept the stores of food- a steel-floor room that was small, dark, and silent. It stank like bananas. They closed the door and lit the small light.

"So...what do you think about Sesshoumaru?" Rin asked, a little hesitantly.

Kohaku eyed her as he checked out the stores of food. "Talk about _frightening_," he answered, his eyes widening. "Do you just _like_ being scared?"

She laughed a little. "I'm _serious_. He doesn't even _need_ to dress up for Halloween- he is scary _enough_," Kohaku breathed.

"I guess," she shrugged. She remembered that they regarded each other with competition- she shook that from her head. The thought of that was ominous, could only mean trouble. It made her a little nervous to think about it...

"Whaddyou guys _talk_ about anyway?" he asked, his tone bearing a little suspicion. "Oh whoops-" he stooped over to pick up the plastic jar of onions he had knocked over.

She paused. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean...you guys are always talking, always really close, too," Kohaku answered, juggling some oranges, his tone rational. "I'm just wondering what's so interesting about him. I mean, I don't see anything there...he kinda looks as exciting as, like, moss on a rock."

The metaphor made her laugh, but soon she was thinking; wondering what it was. "I...I don't really know. I mean...there is something about him. He's just...he's really interesting. I guess you'd never really know unless he wanted to talk in the first place. I don't know exactly." She was being honest, at least.

Kohaku listened for a minute, then tore a banana off a bunch and started to peel it. "Won't miss one," he reasoned. He turned to her. "Well- ah, whatever. I don't give a shit about him. Or anyone here, 'cept you."

She smiled at him. "I'm glad you took off today," she said.

He sighed. "Ah, work. Hey, you look good-"

Just then the light inside brightened; the door was thrown opened. "Hey! You're not supposed to be in here."

There was an awkward silence. He looked at them expectantly- a spheroid older man with an apron and bloody hands. They shuffled their feet. "Sorry sir," Rin half-muttered on their way out.

Kohaku had on a sly smirk when they came out. He raised an eyebrow as they went back through the hall and out the door to the party. "And I bet I wasn't supposed to steal a banana either- but I _did_." Rin laughed back.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

They could see Sango and Miroku dancing when they came back- Sango didn't look as disgusted as she had before, but she looked confused. He was probably blabbering some drunken sonnets at her and she didn't know what to make of it. The song was a low jazz rhythm, dusky cymbals and a fast bass line attacking. Subconsciously Rin's eyes scanned the room- she didn't see him anywhere...

She had to shake the thought from her shoulders. Kohaku was laughing, saying something like he was glad that karma had finally come to bite Sango in the ass, but Rin was only half paying attention. A girl with a huge-mouthed martini glass fluttered by like a silver moth. "You wanna dance?" Rin asked Kohaku.

"Yeah sure," Kohaku shrugged. They met up with Sango and Miroku on the dance floor, exchanged a few words...the song ended, the game done, and they all headed back to the bleachers.

"Your sister is a flower," Miroku exhaled. He reeked of alcohol. He'd been doing some heavy time on the champagne line and it showed in his flushed face. Rin laughed at him and Kohaku smirked.

"Yeah I know," he grinned. Sango almost rolled her eyes but was overtaken by a nervous laugh.

"She dances well, too," Miroku continued carelessly, turning to Rin, "And you'd know it best, dancing is just a vertical expression for a horizontal desire. Haha- was that inappropriate?" Sango was about to yell, "YES!" but Miroku continued before she could get a word in. "Well, _children_, I have to tend to the masses. It's not easy being president- have you seen Inuyasha around?"

"No," Rin answered.

"Well alright Rin- Kohaku, I'll leave you to tend to the lovely ladies," Miroku said slickly, and then trounced off to socialize, confident even in his incapacitation.

Sango looked after him as he left, her eyes wide and alight. "His personality is infuriating!" she breathed, as if in a rage. "Don't ever speak to him again!" she laughed.

"You know you _love_ him," Kohaku said, lavishing this seldom-seen opportunity to rank on his sister.

"You're a jerk! What a pervert he is- and he just brushes every comment off like- it doesn't matter to him!" she answered.

Rin looked out to the dancing crowd. "I'm thirsty," she said, "I'm going to go get a drink." Sango and Kohaku nodded their okays. Rin went around the big crowd, over to get some water from the waiter tending the drink table.

It turned out to be one-fifty for a bottle of water. Fine, she didn't mind being robbed too much. She opened the bottle, looked around; she saw Sesshoumaru making his way near to her. She regarded him with something a little more than interest. "You thirsty?" she asked as he approached.

"Yes," he answered. She took a sip and then gave him the bottle.

She paused, put her hands behind her back. "So what've you been doing?" she asked, tapping her foot.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "You?"

"I was over with Sango and Kohaku...you wanna dance?" she asked, ignoring the flush that came with remembering Miroku's comment. She had to push these irrelevant thoughts away, maybe not think for a while.

"Sure," he answered. There was no music for a while; but then a slowly swinging ballad changed that. It had sweeping violins, but then came on like a blues drag; it swept up everything in its heavy beat, its slow prettiness...

"This is a good song," she said, looking up at him.

"Yeah," he agreed, nodding.

"It's a close dance," she said off-handedly. He held her tight; it seemed to just be by nature. His hand around her waist, resting on her hip; reaching up to cross his shoulders- it felt quiet- felt like silence. Something had been nagging at her the whole night...she wanted to ask, but last time, it had ended in a little disaster..."What do you think about Kohaku?" she asked him, a confident fire in her eyes.

His met her with a dim light shining in them, like Christmas lights. He paused, his mouth contemplated. Then his hand tightened, as if by nerve spasm- he said, breathed, aloofly, "He's a child."

That was the answer that stabbed at her like an insistent knife. She had hoped that his indifference would reach Kohaku too, and leave him alone- but that comment revealed in layers exactly what he thought, left nothing unanswered. That tone in his voice- the same haughty tone, that tone which casted things aside, left them to dust, left them to driftwood, turned around and didn't care- a tone that transcended. It scared her that it should be true, it was one of the most ominous things she had ever felt. She felt herself cling tighter to him- felt her head come closer to him, rest on his chest. For a second he almost looked surprised but it passed. It felt safe and unsafe at the same time, like being in the house on top of a windy precipice.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The night was over, only the scattered remnants were gathering their things and leaving. The party was in disarray. Things were left undone, ends untied. A sleepy feeling had enveloped the night. Some girl let out a yawning prayer and took a long swig of her drink.

"Get her home, please," Miroku asked a man in a chauffeur's uniform, talking about the girl in the armchair. He traveled like the general over a fallow field. It looked almost funny. His hat was on sadly. He was making the rounds, making sure that no one was left behind, and that everything was cleaned up.

He spotted Rin, Sango, Sesshoumaru, and Kohaku by the doorway, and trotted over to them. "Well! The night is over. Every party ends," he smiled, his voice tired. "I'm glad it is- I'm ready to pass out right here." He surveyed the company. "So, is everybody ready to head on home? You're not _too_ drunk, are you, Kohaku?" he teased.

Kohaku rolled his eyes. "_No_, I'm _not_," he said, with a smirk.

"Alright- well, get home safely," he said, shaking hands with the two men and Sango- and giving Sango a completely devilish smile- and then taking Rin and kissing her on the cheek. "Thatta girl. That's what shoulda happened last time, huh?"

She smiled wide. Kohaku turned ghost pale at the implication. "Well, seeya," she said, waving to him, as the chauffeur brushed past them, carried the girl out.

"You too," Miroku chimed, following the man through the doors.

Totosai, Inutaisho, Izayoi and Totosai's wife stood talking and laughing. Besides maintenance, they were the only other people there. Among Rin and the group, good-byes were being exchanged.

"Nice to meet you," Kohaku mumbled, shaking Sesshoumaru's hand.

"See you again sometime," Sango smiled at him. "We'll go get the car." Kohaku shrugged and followed Sango out.

"Hold up a sec, I'll be with you," she told them. She turned back to Sesshoumaru. "You'll get home okay?"

"Yes," he answered concretely. "You?"

"Yeah, I will," she smiled. She paused. "Well- seeya!" she breathed, and reached up to hold him in a quick hug that looked almost looked accidental. "'Night."

"'Night."

She went and joined Kohaku and Sango, and then they passed like the blowy wind through the doors, through the foyer- fresh air in the parking lot- up New York streets, past gum and trash cans, laughing groups, businessmen- almost in a dreamlike state...Rin saw Inuyasha in his car, listening to some low music and looking at a deck of cards. It was strange to see. They came to the car, she got in the passenger seat, reached to get her hat from the back and put it on. She smiled at Kohaku then turned to the window.

"Whew! Jeez, some party," Kohaku exhaled, backing the car out.

"And step on it, Jeeves," Sango said languidly from the back seat. Kohaku was a little peeved at that. Rin looked out the window, watched some lights and buildings go by- was almost physically in her thoughts- turned the radio on and then fell asleep. Kohaku pushed her awake when they pulled up to the house. They'd left a light on, glowing gentle and yellow, passing like the tide. She looked up.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Stick around! It comes like swarming insects!


	5. Does the Sun Rise Up?

_A/N_: I don't like updating so late. I hope I didn't make anyone go, _"Ugh_, a_nother_ author ain't continuing a_nother_ story." I know what that's like- since a lot of the stories I like aren't updated anymore. Anyway, I didn't get lazy- what happened was, I had been to Chelsea before, but I didn't want to write just on memory, because it would be less vivid. I had a ride, but they were stuck in a kind of limbo. I finally did get to go though. Anyway, I don't think the next chapters will be this late, not at all. Thinking on it, you could say this chapter is more setting and things happening than relationship, or things between characters. Anyway thanks to everyone who read and reviewed.

**Langus**- I'm glad that chapter made your day a little better, that's always good. I did get to read a little bit of "Sachi," and I liked it, it was an interesting idea, and I liked the setting a lot. By the way, I also read "Love's Smirking Revenge-" which I liked a lot, for the setting, and also that it was a mystery fic and there's not too much mystery fics out.

**Bra4goten**- Thanks for favoriting it! Hope you like this chapter.

**Chranze**- Thanks for the compliment about expressions- that's something that I try to pay a lot of attention to. You're right- about Kohaku and Sesshoumaru. Thanks for reviewing & enjoy.

**Teela.akimako**- Yeah, I try to focus on the fact that while nothing much is happening externally, a lot is happening internally. The smallest things can affect you. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.

**Deardesolate**- I did like that line, actually, I just remembered it. I like Kohaku, actually. Anyway, Rin's only twenty, but that's not too far off the mark, anyway. Let's not and say we did. Thanks & enjoy!

**Tupelo Theif**- ...Did you forget that you are a- do I have to say it and embarrass you in front of twenty people virtually? Anyway- I thought you would like those lines. I liked writing the dinner banter, too. Yeah, Kohaku's pretty lame compared to Sesshoumaru I guess. Enjoy the talk of Chelsea and anchors in this chapter! And I will keep it on coming, thank you very much. You better, too!

**Murasaki Mice.**- Eu estou muito contente que voce gostou deste assim muito! Your review was very nice, and thank you for writing in English. Aprecia-se muito. I try not to make Sesshoumaru candy-like because it never occurred to me to make him that way- especially not him. Anyway, thanks a lot & enjoy!

**Star Garden**- Thanks! I hope this chapter clears up my direction for ya.

**My.Last.Resort**- Thanks- I hope maybe if I did change the names I could do that- sell it or something. Anyway, thanks for all the compliments- they're very appreciated. Ahright, see you later, & maybe I'll look into my crystal ball on that...

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Chapter 5: Does the Sun Rise Up Or, Does The Earth Just Spin Around?

The little white light was like a beacon guiding the way back home; dreary she pushed up from her seat. Sango was gone, dropped off, outta sight. The walk back inside was almost like a dirge. That white light, though, was kind of laying the way- it felt like walking to the city at the top of the hill. Kohaku was alert; she could see the quick movements of his eyes from the corners, the tautness in his back- but she could also see the hungry wolfishness in his lean frame, the bummed-out hanging of his arms at his sides...she could feel her own weight pulled down.

They walked up the steps. "Christ, I hope I never feel this tired again," Kohaku said, with a revolving exactness. He looked over his shoulder for a response. Rin just looked up at him, small amusement in her smile; but she was wandering over many other fields of time- trying to sort out the night...for a moment there was a churning in her stomach that felt its way up her throat, turned and slithered its fingers up to the back of her mouth and she thought she was going to throw up...her head felt lighter than usual. She wondered why. Then she realized her head was just lighter, that was all- light nonsubstance like clouds fit together or cotton candy. The dining room light was in view; it glowed comfortably, softly rocking, almost like a gentle touch.

She felt like a drunk. She waited while Kohaku got out the keys. "Dammit," he muttered to himself, but he finally wrested the door open. He breathed heavily in relief and took his shoes off. When all was said and done, she was very glad to be home. Her eyes traced over the path to the kitchen to check out what was happening there.

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It was late morning; the kitchen was warm with the white rays from outside. Rin had walked there from lazing on the couch. She could feel the weather around her while she moved- torrid and sunny, faint hints of fall on its tail. The country radio station was having its soul moment, playing Clarence Carter's "I Smell a Rat"...the proud trumpet and blaring purity of it. There being no other roots music stations, this one ordained itself New York's sole proprietor of soul, blues, folk, bluegrass, and country, set down its foot and that was the final word. She couldn't remember what she was doing until the phone rang...

It sounded and echoed, Rin went to pick it up and got closer to its sonorous bells. She picked up the receiver and her eyes set on the counter. "Hello?"

"Hello," Sesshoumaru's voice said unclear through the radiosonic waves, sent a wave through her- smoothed over.

She couldn't help but smile; it came over her face just like a wash of electricity, and involuntary movement- rushes of emotion sounded throughout, moved in her. "Hi, Sesshoumaru," she continued.

"Good morning," he answered idly.

Something brought her back to reality. "Uhm, what's doing?" she asked, looking for something to do while she was speaking to him. There were some onions out of place, so she stuck with that while she had nothing more to occupy herself with.

"Nothing," he answered, like tired in the morning, bored, but gentle, glowing sun through his hard rainy gray tone. From the way he sounded he seemed idle and lazy. "And you?" he added politely.

Something about him today was more attractive than usual- set a strange holler through her. "Nothing, too," she answered, "Cleaning, I guess."

"Hmm," he hummed, quietly, half-acknowledging the statement. "I'm going to Chelsea tomorrow," Sesshoumaru's voice told her, demanding. Over the phone, he was crackling for the distance, like coming through a radio- like out of an army station, from down in the swamps; faceted like ragout.

"Oh, really?" she answered, looking around the counter keenly. She picked up a bunch of bananas, thought about them for a second, then put them back. She was trying to piece together, to skate on, those thoughts of his that might be leading to something. "That's neat. I know a good pizza place around there."

There was a pause that sounded like a nod in his lack of voice; then he said, "I'll leave at three."

"Three...?" she pondered. She knew what the intention was; it wasn't blindfolded or nothing. He was holding it straight out; his propositions when they came made deft movements that were only obvious after sliding and slipping, skidding under tables to end up in secret night. Was three okay?..."Three's okay for me," she said, thinking about it. She paused. "If you were going to offer anyway." That was a mistake that she almost winced at- "if you were going to," when he obviously was. But then- thinking on it- she didn't care, because she knew he wouldn't care. Within and without it was all sun and wind. She spun slight into the dining room.

Talking on the phone must have been something of a challenge to him because a lot of the way he communicated relied on facial expressions. He sounded a little uncomfortable but nothing could betray that smooth edge of his voice. He said, "Alright," or something to that effect.

Rin sighed and looked around her. The thought that he wanted to take her out in the first place...Being on the phone was mighty strange. It was like being in two separate states at once. Like trying to juggle different states of mind and being. There was all sun in the dining room, it escaped into the kitchen like a fan was blowing its radiance throughout. A white heat hinted Indian Summer. "Okay," she said. She smiled to herself and another thought ran by. "You know they were just doing something on- Tennessee...on the radio. Ah- have you ever been South?"

"Yes," he answered after some thought.

A smile split her face into a grin. "Really? That's so cool...I've wanted to go South," she considered, like a confession, "I've only passed through. Once. Going West, the plane had to stop in Atlanta."

"Good place," he said, calmly but subtly sarcastic.

She laughed. She knew the song, "T for Texas-" it hadn't said great things about Atlanta, either. She wondered if he also knew it. "Yeah," she said, then ruminations- completed and dissolved into the late Sunday morning, hot and straining, stretched neck...to become remembered, memories, and like fog and rain and radio, disappeared into the smoky atmosphere...

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She wondered what she would wear. Looking outside the big bay window, it looked almost gray out- looked like a drizzling sky. She turned away from the window and put on her earrings. Kohaku was not to be found. He was already at work, miles away, maybe on some highway, stuck in traffic...nor was Sango around. She hadn't come over for the past week or so...probably busy with something else. Rin walked into the bedroom and over to the big dark drawer- took out the gray shirt- the one with those sleeves...cinched at the waist. Her jeans were hanging over a dining room chair. She fumbled around some water bottles- organized the mess of papers on the table.

She was walking back to the kitchen from the dining room when she heard a car horn outside, short but surprising. She looked out the window, hands on the sill. She saw a dark square car that was low to the ground, had black seats; and a handsome driver, a real looker, looked placidly at nothing. "Oh," she almost muttered, and drew back the curtains further, to give him a wave. He nodded back from the car. She hadn't expected him so soon...it was 2:51. Early bird. The sky was still gray and it looked like a slight rain would be coming on; but there was no mist to tell it, and it didn't feel humid anywhere in the house. Maybe gray autumn days were starting already. Gray. Gray was a feeling that gloomed and suppressed all your heads.

She stretched a little but then hurried to jump into her jeans; black jeans. She couldn't recall having a single colored item in her closet. That didn't matter, anyway. She slipped on a pair of shoes by the door and took her bag, rushed out; then almost forgot to grab her keys. What luck on a day like this. She stepped outside and felt no humidity: the day was as clear as ever, all around her; its sounds were crackling and purring. The space around her was clear and clean, unobstructed; made no betrayal to sound, like she could hear a mother and child walking together up the street. She caught a quick glimpse of them- a brown-haired woman with a set face holding the hand gentle of a little girl with small glasses. She locked the door. Summer's heat was still here, she could see...but the autumn had kicked in the atmosphere- had sucked up all the hot confusion of summer and perceived all with spaceless, unjudging eyes- clear eyes- keen. She threw some hair off her face. She could see clear afternoon now, setting far into the houses in front of her- and then that shining car at the bottom of the landing, seeming coincidental.

She stooped down and looked at him and smiled- but smiled. His face was clean- wide and bright and pale, like cloth..., its edges were set and clear, no guesses as to where he was at. Both eyes looked to stare out of infinite shadows, were half-lidded, saw nothing. Then again, he had laziness and a kid's lack posture. She scrolled quickly to catch the planes of his arms, in shadow-asphalt leather. The wash of his jeans- vertical- and dark. But there was this freshness in him...

She heard the door click unlocked and then pulled the handle, and slid inside. It smelled fresh and clean. Like clean leather. The upholstery was beige, but a shadowy, subtle beige.

"Hi," she said, like a cat.

"Hello," he greeted.

A flash of something rose up in her stomach. She couldn't escape what he had said at the party. She hadn't told Kohaku- that wouldn't make sense. But there was something about him now that she didn't know- he had pulled back another curtain, 'nother layer, of his personality, but now it only revealed more puzzles, and directions in cuneigraph. She didn't know how to read them and now was unaware of how to deal with the new problem.

Was there any problem really though? She looked back at him. There seemed to be nothing wrong.

He was just putting a hand fluidly on the shift; she was about to buckle in but then a bullet like memory hit her. His eyes stared straight ahead.

"Oh- can I go inside and get my hat?" she asked, wondering whether or not to leave her things in the car while she went out.

Something flickered. "Go ahead."

She charged into the house. Back here again- all seemed white space- but gloomy and dull. She hurried to get her hat and then out again- into the light breeze and then to dive into the guitar. "Sorry, thanks," she said, on her way in.

"Where did you get this?" he asked, putting his hand lightly over her clutch.

She picked it up and looked at it. There were geometric diagonal cuts running to its middle, cast in smoke and brown leather. "Oh, someone gave it to me," she answered, feeling the momentum start- feeling the car resist and then come off, start to smooth sail across the way, up the street, parallel the sidewalk- she saw the houses go by out of the corner of her eye, but she felt like looking inside the car.

A pack of cigarettes was askew in a storage compartment nearby. A bottle of water was in the back, in addition to shiny Hagstrom map books, probably of the five burroughs and whatnot...hand lotion near to the cigarettes. Cologne nearby as well. That was weird- she couldn't recall him smelling like cologne.

She sat there for a while. She didn't know what to talk about. Aside from there being the initial fact of his silence, there was now a new problem to deal with. That would bring her now to not mentioning anything too hefty. Her eyes flicked over many things but only wanted one thing- wanted...sun and rain, that was it. She looked over at his hands on the wheel. "You don't have to go to work today?" she asked, the thought suddenly occurring to her. She felt a heavy rising sigh in her back.

"No," he answered.

"That's good," she smiled. "That was kind of a stupid question...but- you know, Izzy Izzard said that the last four-letter word in America is 'work'." She looked keenly at him at a red light.

He considered it; she could see something reflecting in his eyes. "That's true," he agreed.

She said, "I don't know why people pay so much attention to work...but, I mean, not like going to work..." Her mind circled around Kohaku- around Kouga- and around Inuyasha, and Miroku. She turned her eyes back to Sesshoumaru. "Because some people spend their lives at work- but they have to...I mean...like, the way people have social stuff, like problems and gossip, and stuff like that- at work...it's like anything you do is important. It's not...it's sort of inane, I guess, I'm trying to say.' She looked at Sesshoumaru.

He nodded; but it wasn't like he didn't understand. She knew he understood everything she'd said, but that his words couldn't contribute to her meaning, or add to what she was trying to say...Silence could be a big noise. She crossed her legs. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?"

"No," he answered, turning a corner.

She pushed the little button as other cars bulleted by and totally ran red lights. Sesshoumaru stopped, though. The radio screen made something like "WELCOME" spelled out on its green surface and then salsa music came noisily in, bopping and shaking and whirling through the car. She didn't know the song so she turned to radio...passed by Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth"...and the song "I Will Survive"...

"_It was allll-right...yknow baby it was alllll-right..._"

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Sure," she answered.

"Where is the place you spoke about?" he threw back, stalling at a green light.

"Oh, that? It's...well you can make an early right over here," she directed, pointing.

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An animated movie was playing in acidic colors on the overhead projector, making scenes on the figure of the lone waitress, and reggae music floated steadily overhead, not a figure was seen. The place had a weird space-like feel to it- everything in purple, red, and gray. There were no windows in the seating area, and everything seemed dark and low. They sat in high chairs a little in from the cavern-like entrance, next to pictures of B.B. King and Mick Jagger. Sesshoumaru looked at her from across the table. The waitress asked for drink orders from the bar.

"Diet Coke," Sesshoumaru answered her.

"Water," Rin said.

"Okay," she said, turning to the glasses, her low ponytail whirling around her.

Rin looked to her left. "Hey, B.B. King!" she smiled, turning to the picture. Sesshoumaru's eyes drifted to the picture.

"You seem to like blues a lot," he commented. That was the first time he'd started a conversation- well, that she remembered.. She smiled at him. Fresher by the minute.

"Yeah," she answered, pondering it. A young kid was sweeping up by the coatcheck. Underneath the dark lights Sesshoumaru told her to go on. She looked up at a pair of lights- one was clouded and veiled by dead flies. "I don't know. I don't really remember much. I only remember I've always liked the sound...it felt real to me. Comfortable. I don't know...I just like it. I also like...other stuff. Lots of other stuff." She caught his eyes like a villain. "I like salsa a lot."

"You look like it," he answered. By reflex she smiled but then the tone became dark, for she detected again that impossible _leaning_- that invasion, again...she opened her mouth but it was only to inhale a sharp flint air.

The waitress approached with two glasses. She slid them on the table, "Here you go, guys..." A melted face, a casual, lax attitude...a white tank top and no bra. Low slung dark jeans. Brown hair spun into a ponytail. "Have you guys decided on any appetizers?" she asked, twining her fingers together.

"Not- really," Rin replied earnestly. "Do we need any more, uhm, time, or anything?" she asked Sesshoumaru. The waitress' eyes screwed onto his lithe and caged him, enclosed him in something secret.

Sesshoumaru said no, and they ordered two slices and some French fries. The waitress nodded and turned to leave, to disappear into the revolving kitchen doors and the blurring acid light.

"Like _Freedom_ fries," Sesshoumaru muttered into the table. Rin laughed out loud and almost choked on her water.

She looked at her glass, finishing a laugh. "I should have ordered a soda," she thought aloud. His eyes wondered what she meant. "Water and pizza don't really go well together, I think...it doesn't seem appetizing."

He conceded with a nod. She took to looking at him...his jacket was off and now only that cigarette shirt she'd seen once before. A watch was simply put on his wrist- but other than that, nothing left him- none of his lucidity, none of that sighing style, had been lost in the clothes on him...He always looked like a king. "Are you rich?" she blurted.

He considered the question. "Rich enough," he answered, his expression moving over hers.

She paused, remembered this question and answer from a little before, like deja-vu and remembering moving..."Have I asked you that before?"

"I don't know," he answered, but the vibrations of the sentence read more like, "I don't care."

She thought. "I think I have," she thought, biting her nails. She looked up at him. "I only ask because, you look it. In some ways, you look a lot like it- rich, I mean. I don't know." She tried to look back at him without faltering. "But there's something about you."

He nodded, and she wondered whether or not he understood her fully- whether or not he thought she was wrong or right, or whether he even cared, had even paid attention. She couldn't imagine caring, if she were him. Remember- that, he didn't suffer anything unnecessary.

Their pizza arrived. The cave of the room came on slow with a cool reggae love song and they ate, she couldn't remember later on whether they had spoken or ate in silence. When they left the sun was setting. It didn't make her happy or sad to see the sun was setting. When the dark came on in these parts, there were different lights a-hangin'.

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The car was beginning to get dark. The wide triangle streets were running slow and slim down different roads, making difficult crossing. The car glided along. The Spanish station was playing a dreamy, sad Nortena ballad- "la duena de mi vida."

She was fixing her hat in the flip-down mirror. She'd used the mirror, though she was careful of touching his stuff...just for the sake of politeness. He didn't seem to mind, but a weird almost wincing look came back into his eyes. The sun was creating dim shadows in the car but the gray sky didn't say much anything different than before.

He nodded; then he reached over to the pack of cigarettes, opened the top, took one out...got out a small matchbook and took out a match...he had a little trouble, and it was odd to see him have trouble with anything, but after a split second he was up on his toes and had lit it. He rolled down the window. A cool gust came in from the night and was heavy perfume, a dark music, fast and bright...she felt it hit her face. She fastened her hair so that it wouldn't blow messy.

He took a long drag in- and the tip burned. That stirring, implicating thing about his face- the richness in it- its calm slow- burned against a dark back. What wasn't right about him?

But for a minute her mind wondered over Kohaku. It was four thirty. He would be home soon.

That split-world feeling came back to her and she tried to ignore its confusing yelps, and she tried to concentrate on the music; but her gut was stirring up and she had to breathe out. Nothing was happening. The night lights were swimming above a fortune-teller's shop.

"We should get our fortune told, sometime," she commented, tuning the station. Two stations later came on a girl's pretty voice and three mad ones thumping through the city beat with unfailed accuracy and the night's swooping gale wings.

"Whereabouts?" he asked rather calmly, dragging and blowing smoke out the window. A little droplet of ashes rounded back into the warm car and broke up on the seat. She cleaned it up with a napkin she had found nowhere.

"Anywhere- there are a lot here, anyway," she answered. She looked ahead. On the streets, different people were flushing around. One had a hat that was more like a sock. Some had long skirts and brown hair and square glasses. There was a group of kids with big pants. A man walked hurriedly down the street with a rolled-up magazine, his face gray from dirt and his hair wiry, a green cap on.

A little ways out she could see a big car- well not exactly a car, but the front of a car pulling a huge glass square. Inside of the glass there were women gyrating to a mysterious dance and a ridiculous man in shorts pretending to jump and play a ukelele. They were pitched against a beach background, and something on the back said, "Travel for the Holidays!" or something unrememberable & to that effect. Bright lights shone down on the people in the glass and the name of one of the companies- Travelocity or Expedia or something like that. The girls' long, dark hair didn't flutter with the wind. The man was ridiculous. The car turned a corner and was gone.

Rin didn't say anything about it. A kid with a long dark jacket and a pretending stance looked disdainfully in their direction because he could hear the thump and feel the bass of the music- Sesshoumaru had turned it all up a while ago...but everyone else crossing the street just walked on by.

Then she looked over to Sesshoumaru. He went unfazed, noticed everything and considered none of it. It was impossible to touch him. He had a face like a lake- a face that couldn't do no harm...

The car began to slide over to the sidewalk. Sesshoumaru parked the car and looked back at her, only askance, only to make sure she knew they were getting out. She stepped out of the car and looked up into the sky, saw a large sign that said- PRINCE OF TIMBER, and had a curled Arabian dome painted on it. Beneath it, a gated building and lots of logs. Sesshoumaru squished the cigarette to leafy bits on the street.

It was a little chilly out. She watched him walk and reach the sidewalk, then joined him. She could feel the rhythm of his walking...it was so weird to be near him because she hadn't ever known anyone like him, not that she knew of. For a moment the thought flashed about her sister...thought maybe that they were similar. But she shook the thought from her mind. She distracted herself with the sidewalk and its people- she nearly bumped into one of them...

"It's kind of cold," she piped.

"Almost fall," he commented shortly.

Among a school of people they pushed through and came near to a big stony building with big glass doors that held in them radiant bathing yellow light and a blindness to what was beyond them. Sesshoumaru curved in and opened the doors and they were in.

She'd been to Chelsea before but she hadn't ever been in this building. It looked like a mall. But it looked different than a mall. There were wide winding pathways that looked like roads- colored black...some wide stores, all in glass and product, were on every side, wound down...pictures on the columns and on every free wall- pictures like you see in magazines like _The New Yorker_, ink-sketched. There was a jungle inside one store. The lights were bright and pervading, but they also had a soft glow. She could hear water somewhere?

A man looked at them as he went out. A woman with curly black hair and a microphone was facing a video camera and speaking. As Sesshoumaru walked he paid no attention to it, until the woman asked them if they wanted to speak.

"Uh, no thank you," Rin said. Sesshoumaru led her elsewhere.

The woman said something exasperated and then flung back to talk madly with the video camera man. They wandered around. A man rushed by in a long wool coat and glasses in his face, walking angrily but with no expression on his face. Some kids were laughing near rickety elevators.

All was lights- they seemed to be strung along the ceiling- it was like walking in a supersonic park. The road winded...

"Is there a bathroom here?" she asked.

He nodded and they walked to the entrance of some little cavern hallway. She was confused; the wall was exposed stone...and there seemed to be gray barnlike doors near her...and at the end, washed-over dark gray doors with swirling patterns etched in them. She said see ya and went in, felt like she was entering the lion's den...One of the doors said men, so she assumed the other one said women. Wrong. It said "HANDICAPPED."

The women's bathroom was at the end of the hall. Its swirling patterns obscured the sign. She went in and at once was secluded from the noise and bustle- silent, like all bathrooms are. Bathrooms were always quiet, she mused. The tinkling of easy jazz was blowing obnoxious from the overhead speakers. She faced the mirror...this bathroom gave the illusion of being very wide because it was set in wide squares- the floor was a wide square, as was the mirror and the sink, which jutted out determinedly...She fixed her hair- it had been blown messy by the slight breezes outside. She freshened up, patted her face with a watery tissue, put on some lip gloss, wiped away stray eyeliner- then she stepped outside.

A woman with angry eyes regarded her sinfully by the door. "Sorry," Rin said, and tried to brush the encounter off. She could hear the door slide and lock close.

She could also hear the moving water of a fountain- or an indoor waterfall-

rushing nearby. Sesshoumaru was nowhere in sight; but then she saw him inspecting a large decorative anchor lying on a white box. She was puzzled by it like he was, but they kept walking.

They passed by some good pictures and some good smells; then on a bridge, where the lighting was like Christmas, was shining...there _was_ a waterfall, and it rushed cool foam beneath them. It sprayed her a little; his jacket shone a little bit in the bright yellow lights. She heaved a sigh out and then looked around her. He probably was magic; he hung around places like this- he was most likely a hypnotist.

They passed a big window where in a huge empty room a jazz ensemble was playing in black hats with black glasses. She felt the urge to go and listen to them...but all she said was, "Who are they?"

"I don't know," he said, looking in their direction.

She wondered where they were walking to, until, past a small grocery store and a gruesome butchery, they stopped in a store...something about imports from Morraco. Throw pillows; exotic glasses; end tables...

She looked through the jewel-like glass. Two women were conversing near a computer; one redhead with an eager face in a blue shawl and a woman with a sharp nose in a red shawl.

"I like this," Rin said, looking at an end table...she saw the price tag and had an aneurysm..."Not anymore."

Sesshoumaru looked at her curiously. "Three hundred," she said glumly.

He nodded. He was milling around, checking out the pillows. Rin picked up a glass- a red glass with gold patterns. "How much is this?" she asked the two women.

The redhead looked up and responded, "Twelve dollars."

She brought it to the counter. Sesshoumaru milled toward the front. The redhead got up. The brunette woman got her change from a drawer. They didn't have a cash register, but she did the math on the computer, Rin guessed. "Thanks," Rin said as she saw her wrap it.

She turned to go to Sesshoumaru but found him occupied already- with the eager redhead from the front. Rin hung loose near them and heard their conversation while she looked at some tiles.

"Hi," she said to him, with a smiling tone.

"Hello," he answered.

"I'm on break," she told him. Rin saw the blue shawl pass by in a blur.

He didn't say anything. The girl said, "Do you live around here? I've seen you pass by once or twice." Rin almost perceptibly winced- she knew he was hard to miss.

"No," he said. The girl paused.

Then Rin was tired of this, and she wondered why this girl had only approached him when she was gone...she didn't mind, but she wanted to talk to Sesshoumaru so...she came near to them. She looked at Sesshoumaru as a greeting.

Something died in the woman's eyes, she said, "Have a nice night, guys," making the pluralizing emphatic.

Then they strolled out again; she felt close to him- beneath thelights, near the water...Some man bumped into them and laughed in some kind of faulty half-apology but they paid no mind. Who cared about bozos anyway.

Sesshoumaru led her like a knight back in the direction they had come with his arm looped carefully around hers. Then he slowed down near the water. Rin looked around to see if they were going into a particular store. She saw nothing.

"Just where I left it," he said casually. She stopped and looked, saw the anchor on the box, and laughed out loud.

From the different windows you could see people preparing the food. They saw some people in white making dough for bagels and Rin always thought she'd wanted to do that...then they saw meat hanging in the butcher's window and people cutting it, but neither was disgusted. Rin figured it was a natural thing to see.

Ah, those good smells again- like candy and bread- and then they came near to a shop with big display cases and sky blue walls, decorations...

The night had seemed to creep upon them and now Rin felt no walls and saw only that she was here- she could've been outside, with the way she felt...there was one person in the shop behind the counter.

Sesshoumaru let go of Rin's arm and walked in front of her to the counter. The woman looked up; then Rin was surprised to see her weathered face turn into a smile.

"Hi, how are you?" she asked Sesshoumaru.

"Fine," he answered.

Rin took a second look at her. Her red hair like henna and wine was pulled into a low bun beneath her cap; it was a little messy around her face. She had a big figure, a wide face- eyes wide set far apart...but then turned up at the corners- snake's eyes- dark cat's eyes...A flaring nose and nice lips...a tanned, weathered face. She looked like she belonged there. Rin regarded her with some curiosity. Did she know Sesshoumaru?

Sesshoumaru leaned back. "Do you have any cheese danish?"

She paused. "Not here," she said, her slight accent slipping. "Let me check in back." She turned to a little metal door, with a window that looked into the kitchen. Her accent slid as she yelled, "Is there any cheese danish?" She waited for an answer- garbled murmuring. "No? Okay."

She turned to Sesshoumaru. "No, we don't have any," she said apologetically.

The light came down on Sesshoumaru and he for some reason looked calm and brave at the same time. Rin felt a little strange. The woman looked at her with curiousity. She seemed as though she'd seen Sesshoumaru before and now was wondering on Rin. "Any chocolate croissants?" Sesshoumaru asked, with his hand in his pocket.

She paused and took her bottom lip in. "Yes, we have one."

"That and a cortado," he said. His tone with this woman wasn't demanding at all, as it was with some others...Rin wondered why. He looked at Rin.

"Oh, and just a coffee for me," she told the woman.

The woman nodded. She had a certain serenity about her. "You're off today, Sir?" she asked, filling up a cup.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru answered.

She nodded gently and smiled to herself. She wiped her forehead tiredly, as though she wanted to just be done with this. She pushed their cups and the big wrapped pastry toward them, then tucked stray hair behind her ear. "That'll be...nine-fifty." She looked at Sesshoumaru with something like affection in those dark cat's eyes.

He pulled out his wallet and took some bills out. Rin looked at this girl. She wondered at the fact that she was probably the only person in the whole city who knew Sesshoumaru at all.

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They ate in the car. She had taken her hat off to make sure she wasn't getting hat hair. "This is good," she said with a smile.

They finished up. Sesshoumaru wiped his hands- the lithe shape of them- and threw something out the window...then he started the car off. It began its soft glide along the street.

She was too tired to say anything. She looked shortly out the window; then she sighed and took her hair and hat and began to fix it in the mirror. Her eyes darted across the road, saw a small toadlike cute child being dragged across the street. They tarried at a red light.

"Keep it off."

Her hands were still on her hat but she looked over at him a little surprised. She saw his profile in the blaring glow of the lights all around them, then wondered had he said anything at all- cause he looked silent as a statue. But had he said that? Almost like a command- something stirred like lava beneath it- then heated and flamed and fell to smoldering ashes. She took the hat gingerly and put it down on the seat. She looked out the window.

She felt to be close to him. Felt a strong magnetism- felt as though she was drawn to him...she didn't think. Kissing him- to be close to him was the draw...His thin frame, those placid eyes- his shocking pale- the coolness of his face. For some reason she was drawn to be near him...but the feeling outdid the reason and what she wanted to do was to be near to him.

But she ignored the aching magnet and it made her fist ball up...the feeling tore at her and built up so much energy that she had to knock on her leg with her open hand. She dismissed it as just a feeling. With an eerie cautiousness she thought that all she could do was to keep herself under control, in check; to try to dismiss dumb feelings. Try to think a little more. It was only for the sake of self-control.

The night thumped and blew in different directions, but all she could feel was his profile and the stunning simplicity of everything he did. It welled up in her.

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Sesshoumaru pulled up to the house. She saw a silhouette in the window. Her nerves panicked.

Rin turned to Sesshoumaru. "Thanks for taking me out," she smiled.

"Fine," he answered.

She unbelted herself and bent over to catch him in a quick hug..."It was fun," she said, opening the door. Her hands tore apart.

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Bye," she waved. He rolled up the window and drove off steadily.

She felt a crashing piano in her mind. She moved up the steps and to the door; unlocked it, and heard the little clanging lock move. She stepped inside and went blank for a minute. The dark was all over.

It was white light in here, but no one was around. She looked for that silhouette she'd seen and was a little scared. Then she went to the closet; took off her shoes...Went to the bathroom and doused her face in water to get rid of the eyeliner and lip gloss. Her heart almost tore in two and fell to her feet.

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Stay tuned! Don't touch that dial!


	6. Oh Darlin', Darlin'

_A/N_: Thanks to everyone again. I guess last chapter didn't exactly make the mark, but I think this chapter hits exactly that. I liked it. Even liked writing it. Thanks to everyone who read & especially reviewed.

**Langus- **Yeah, the language was a little off. I had been trying to get back into it after being in limbo for a bit. I didn't know that they had places like that up where you live. Chelsea's in New York, though, so I guess it's not that far off, since they both make Northerners. Anyway I'm glad you enjoyed the setting- & thanks as always for keeping up with the story.

**Chranze**- Thanks, that's a good specific compliment. Anyway, here's the update- enjoy.

**Gerigirl**- Maybe it was the Maharajah of Persia. Just kidding. Yep. It was Kohaku, at least, that was what I was aiming at.

**Tupelo Theif**- I knew you'd be kind enough to send a review my way, good sir. Hmm, actually, I didn't know that you'd like this chapter so much. Kinda a surprise. Yes, it probably is yours- so I'll mail it to you from my Imagination & Memories. Why thank you for commending me good sir!...oh I just bit all your fingers off, so as to make sure you REALLY wouldn't touch that dial!

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Chapter 6: Oh Darlin', Darlin'

Fall was coming in, and its tail was whooshing in back of it. Sometimes lazily, and sometimes rushing fast- you couldn't keep up with the pace of the days that went by because their rhythm was sketchy, uneven, didn't know even what it wanted to do. Fall wasn't a dependable time. Its horse-body was brown and it carried a concrete wind with it.

Rin couldn't decide or figure out when it had been that the change had come; she wasn't sure of its definity. Maybe it had come like puzzle pieces- one small piece...then another. Then bam, the whole puzzle's done.

Fall sun was cold and white. It came misty through the lace curtains one time, had come a-knocking even before Rin could hear battered tatters of Kohaku fumbling around in his morning haze. Its tired unforgiving hand reached her sleeping eyes before she heard anything else.

She looked through the misty shadows to the clock on the bedside table and read in red "7:01." She lay there dimly for a while; then could hear activity keen around her. She scratched her head and got out, fast, no questions asked there. She washed up in the dark and then went downstairs to the kitchen.

The living room was bare and looked unlived in. She had no time to stare at its awkwardness, though- could only feel it. In fact, as she was leaving the bedroom- its dark privacy, its loamy shadows, fertile ground- Kohaku was going into it. He wasn't yet fully dressed- had on no shirt, but a tie was flung loosely around his shoulders. She looked at him with a little curiosity. Something connecting him to her had shifted. It created no upset in the ground they stood on, but she was perceiving him in a strange way. A way created by the shadows. She couldn't explain it even to herself.

"Hey, good morning," he mumbled to her as she passed out of the room. Her quick eyes flashed to him and she smiled. That was all Kohaku needed to start off the day- those slashing eyes...her small passing looks. He hadn't seen anything shift.

She had, though. In her socks she stepped into the kitchen and scratched her head, wondering what she would or could make for breakfast. She opened up the pantries and cabinets, and the fridge. There was cereal. There was also eggs, bacon, oatmeal, toast...oatmeal sounded good. She glanced out the window. The sun had risen, but the gray sky of autumn had mixed with summer's stark, blazing blue and had created a cold atmosphere, like a frozen fish. Just standing there. Didn't say anything to you or ask any questions. She shivered at it a little. It didn't seem a good day to be going to work.

There was no noise, even as she cooked. Any noise she made actually didn't exist. It felt as though summer's rushing business and tumble and activity had blown through this town and had made way for the standstill of cold weather...the chatter, the people sounds, that are heard on a sidewalk summer morning...but some of the activity had still survived. She could feel it in the electric ethereal vibrations all around her. Only, it wasn't kids...it was all people out for a day on the town, friends at lunch, working people...but no babies. Maybe that was the difference.

She made and poured the oatmeal into little white china bowls, set them on the table with some fruit. She looked at her socks. The sun was rising through the sparse trees to a full, and coloring the figures and shapes outside.

"Fuckin' _cold_ out," she heard Kohaku's rasp call through the cavern of the hall. She turned to him. He was buttoning his shirt...she looked to his waist. He used the tie as a belt, all orange and ivory. Sometimes she saw him as a horse- always working, but always kicking and shaking things up. She smiled at him. Sometimes the content of what he said was only a filler, only filled the space in between real conversation- talking just to talk- but with a voice like his, it could never be misused...his voice was one of the things she liked best about him.

Sometimes she wished he lacked the ethic to keep going to work...sometimes it irritated her, and she wished he just wouldn't go. It nagged at her...oh, well- there was no use at railing against it. He could do what he wanted to...but it still irritated her...

She watched him sit down, and he was still focused on the buttons of his shirt with his bandaged, blistered fingers. He didn't pay attention to the spread. She picked up her spoon and kept her eyes on him to know when to start.

"Hey, oatmeal," he pointed out, "I've been craving this stuff for a while." He reached for a banana.

She handed one to him. She thought of the times she'd been out recently...a couple of times grocery shopping- a couple of times with...She looked to the window. "I guess it is going cold," she said, looking out the window as if under a lace shroud.

"_Going_ cold? It's fucking crossed the _finish line_," Kohaku scoffed, blurted bluntly, taking another bite. She looked at him, paused suspended in the time between momentarily, smiled at his blazing. He looked smartly, coolly, at her. "If you ask _me_," he finished.

She looked to the window again, brushed strands of hair from her face. Kohaku watched the small movements keenly. She looked back at him mysteriously, then a frown was in her eyes and she was thinking about something. "It's like summer's leftover," she responded, suggesting. Those thoughts came fragmented. "There are pieces left there. Like I was walking up the street, and it was sort of...a hot breeze was out. It was kind of hot yesterday."

He thought on that. "Yeah, it was...but this...oatmeal's perfect." He looked over her. "What are you gonna do today?"

She said, "I don't know. I'm probably going to stay at home."

"Stupid Sango wanted to come over," he breathed lucklessly, his eyes shifting low, "She wanted to come over for dinner or something...like she couldn't get dinner at _her_ house."

Rin smiled at his comments, but she knew he didn't mean them. She knew that he'd not condemn his sister, since it wasn't a long time ago that blazes and floods surrounded her and she had nearly drowned, and it wasn't long ago that she'd been running from pursuers, nearly suffocated in the sadness...she thought of it then looked at Kohaku. His face was shining in the autumn light, its paleness was like a moon in the skies that came through the window- had a special silver quality to it...like a hound, a wolf, a ghost...his hair was tousled.

He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "She's probably just coming over to _torture_ me anyway..." Rin's smile grew implicating. "I'm serious! I _know_ she's just waiting for the first free minute to pull out a fucking laser..."

Rin got up and took the empty dishes. "Think chicken tonight?" she asked, moving toward the big, clean metal sink.

"Sure- why not?" Kohaku answered getting up similarly.

Rin had caught a glimpse of the time on the oven. It was seven-thirty- it was time for him to leave...she bit her lip and tried to ignore it, tried to snub this hard monotony...she turned back to him.

He was standing, almost suspended, but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking to the table...his gaze was soft and his head was turned only slightly. Then he stretched and he said, "I've gotta go."

She nodded. "Okay," she said.

For some reason, she always said the right thing- he wondered how she had the magic to inspire the confidence in him, to give him that lucid meaning...he leaned against the table. She saw his fist whiten. Then his arms fell loosely to his sides. "I fucking hate this," he said. Sometimes something in him- despite that lean, hungry frame, and despite that ghoulish hallowness in his pale face- was raging, and was fire- didn't stop, was warrior-like. Some quality in him was like a flaming wheel- something that kept revolving and fighting. Sometimes it scared her. His eyes looked strongly into hers. "Someday I'm not gonna hafeta do this, this stupid shit anymore. Fucking working. I can't get any other job. I hate this shit." There was a promise on his breath.

She went close to him and drew him in a hanging embrace. "I know," she acknowledged.

He hugged her back and then he stretched out; the cat had gone out of him, and his posture turned lazy, less stiff and irate. "I gotta go get my jacket, then," he yawned sleepily.

He left her in the shadowy kitchen; then he came back with his industry jacket on, a plain jacket with a few gold zippers. She liked this jacket on him- made him look lean and shady. "Keep the butcher knives handy," he told her, "She might come early."

Rin laughed and saw him out. He went but he left a kiss lingering. She wondered what she would do. Something in her felt wired, like now she couldn't sleep if she tried. She felt something in her stomach- something acidic. So she went to shower...

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The afternoon's light was blocky- something like colored Bauhaus- was sticking out and plastic and metal. Rin was thumbing through magazines- she had sat down earlier to scribble off a letter to her sister in Las Vegas...or wherever she was now. The dishwasher was cleaning at the moment...she'd also earlier turned on the radio. They had been playing Bessie Smith, and Jimmy Reed. She'd agreed with that...then she shut it off to look at magazines and catalogues in the living room...

The wood floors were shining, the calendar was flipped...she was wondering when Sango would come in...she looked at the flat clock on top of the television.

It was nearing three. She put aside the magazines and got up from the white couch, then got the watering can and the spades...came down the steps in a white light, and could see the tops of the green trees...

She wasn't sure how these plants would hold out in autumn's grip...if they would survive the chill and nag. Breezes blew up the street and a paper cup passed her by.

She looked up by chance in the middle of pulling a weed and saw a blur of silver and burgundy like a rush of wind near to her. Sesshoumaru was here, and right on the dot. She waved to him.

This attraction/infatuation had created a white noise so subtle that it had lulled half her brain to sleep, and this mix had put something like a dream smally into her head...had injected visions and mixed images. She weighed it on those Great Scales and played around with the idea of it. But it wasn't substantial, not yet, anyway. Just a small inkling, or something that her emotions whirled around.

He was unaffected, but something she saw in him- he was in his mythical prime. The weather was mild, on the cold side, and he was triumphant, had come alive out of the summer that put him into a cat's mood. He had come out of summer looking fresh and clean. The wind was on his face but it suited him fine and he didn't seem to be touched by it.

He came closer but not near to the fence. He stood near the tree instead. "Afternoon," he said stilly.

"Hi- watchya feelin'?" she asked, turning her face toward him.

He paused. "Electricity," he said, with the carefulness that molded around his words, implying pash. She wondered exactly what he meant. His magic had already taken hold. They talked like they were continuing a conversation that had never been on hold to begin with.

"I'm feeling a dying fire," she answered with a little bit of grief as the wind roughed up her hair. "I'm sorry- I forgot to bring out something to drink. Are you thirsty?"

"No," he answered.

"That's like asking a dead person to get up," she laughed. She almost saw the spark of a laugh in the corner of his mouth- he knew what she was talking about. In the area of talk, she didn't have to watch out what she said to him, at least...

He came nearer and leaned on the bricks. "These don't die?" he asked, motioning to the plants nearby. Ivy was hanging off the iron fence.

She looked up and paused tentatively, bit her bottom lip slightly. "You know, I was wondering that, earlier...when I bought them, I didn't know whether or not they would...I guess I didn't think that far ahead," she said. He looked at her, and the expression on his face was slightly concerned, interested. She idly touched one of the leaves, then leaned down to get the watering can. "I don't wanna just cut them down though. They're blooming pretty nicely."

He paused and considered the plants along with her, watched her work for a while...he didn't say anything for a while. She had captured his interest suddenly- he didn't linger on things too much. She wondered after a moment if he had lost interest, but when he stayed she wondered why he was interested in what she was doing. His manner, though, wasn't prying- wasn't the manner of someone who is watching someone else- wasn't judging, didn't think anything of what she was doing, didn't perceive it to be good or bad...he was only seeing. She was awed, sometimes, at the way he cut through, and perceived things truthfully- didn't have to define them...she thought people only needed to make definitions, to define things, because they needed a sense of security...but he was comfortable with the unknown, was confident, felt untried in the vague and the ominous places- preferred not to have any equal signs hanging around. She wondered if she was like this. She was, mostly- but she had been touched by other people, whereas he had emerged unscathed, and he lived in an area of in-betweens, mystery, and shade...She was almost speechless because he wasn't talking to her- so she was thinking of him and the way he didn't judge things...he was just perceiving her work. Maybe it was simple for him to not do anything.

Maybe half an hour passed. He was leaning against the fence. She looked up at him with star and sun in her eyes. She dusted off her hands and smiled. "My hands are dirty," she said.

"I don't mind," he answered.

She paused and was taken aback a little by the straightforwardness in his tone. She felt as though she was getting a clearer perception of him...She was going to say something, but he asked her, "Do you want to buy seeds?"

In his voice was placidity, tranquillity- another voice that you could hear in your mind for eons...she answered, "Sure." She was half-suprised in the turn that his personality had subtly taken and half-ravenous for him, his voice, and presence, and everything..."Are there any places around here?" she asked herself, and thought on it. "I think there's a-..."

"Grocery store," he finished.

She laughed. "Yeah, that's it." She looked into his face and felt an electric wave, and then loamy leaves- then felt no remorse. "Can I- uhm- wash my hands first?" she asked. She was stuttering because she didn't know how to react to him.

"Go ahead," he permitted. She went into the house and at first the heat of the water made her take back her hands, a shock of reflex in her...she washed her hands, soap all in the air; her mood began to turn lighter as that carnival feeling swam back into the fluid in her head...that filled her head, sometimes...She realized her shirt was dirty and made a self-conscious note of it; changed, fresh and clean, and then came out with her purse.

The breeze picked up and she saw him at the bottom of the steps with wind on his hair. The sun was bright. She smiled.

"Is anyone home?" he asked, casually- as if out of curiosity- but she felt that something was beneath his interest, could feel its revolutions...or maybe she had dreamt up some implication...

When she was about the answer, she remembered- Sango! Sango may be there any moment...she bit her lip and decided whether or not she should stay or go...She figured Sango wouldn't be there for a while, but then again, she may want to help with the dinner...

She figured Sango would come later and decided to go. "No," she half-told him, lied a bit, leaving the memory and its consequence behind her. His reaction was nil and she descended the stairs. She met him at the bottom, like usual.

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The grocery store was lit up by lights that were along the ceiling, singular lights that shone like a doctor's office from outside. It was a yuppy grocery store- couldn't shop there weekly- but they had some pretty nice stuff in there...it was a building with wood details, a dark wood staircase that lead to a suspended cafeteria held by wood columns...lots of healthy eats. Lots of "granola" and "health bars," things like that- all-organic ham, and stuff...hazelnut coffee...

There was, though, near a row of seats by a counter, some racks of seeds, which was the only stop. They stood by it on the white tile and were separated from the rest by a negative space in between. A fat man ate nearby.

"I guess we'd be looking for something perennial?" Rin asked, symbolically scratching her head.

"If we knew what that meant," Sesshoumaru answered, scanning around.

Rin laughed. She turned to Sesshoumaru. "Or should I grow- like vegetables, that I can use to cook with? Quick-growing stuff?"

"Either way," he answered.

She contemplated on it. "Kohaku chose these last ones- he wanted ivy- but I'm not sure whether or not they'll last..." she thought aloud.

"He's at work?"

She grabbed a package, but she stopped to eye him. She didn't know what he meant or why he was asking, but his face wasn't telling her anything. "Yeah," she said, sighing, winding out. "I wish- he doesn't like going." He didn't say anything, but the silence was encouraging. "His work is a drag..."

"What as?" Sesshoumaru asked, playing with an office toy that someone had left on a surface nearby- a duck that had a tophat and water in it. She noticed and smiled, but his questioning had a dark tone to it- an ominous implication...

"He assembles things in a factory line," she said. She just couldn't say no to him...

The lights got whiter and more calming..."China Girl" played on the speakers overhead. The line about Marlon Brando made her smile. "He played a Japanese guy in a movie, once," she pointed out.

She saw as his face tried to figure _that_ one out and she grinned. She got her seeds- some fall vegetables, some decorations, some quick, some slow- and the cloud had lifted...but she still felt like those questions were foreboding. Ominous. His interest was a weird thing when it appeared before your eyes, when it manifested itself into the mystic sheik of the moon...those questions. Why had he been asking? She didn't mind anything he did, it all had a reason- but she worried. She wondered whether or not Kohaku could come out unscathed near Sesshoumaru.

She didn't want to try to guess. Besides- the smoke had lifted and she felt comfortable. People shuffled in and out, one bumped into her, and every time the door opened a haunting wind came rushing in under her feet. "Owch- hey," she said, as some woman rushed past her. Sesshoumaru looked keenly after her. Rin rolled her eyes jokingly. "She's busier than me, I guess."

Sesshoumaru guided her through the crowd. They went to pay for the stuff at the counter. The man at the cashier looked as though he had shifted through a thousand boring eternities and was only returning to another, had a face that pulled its weight down...was the type who might say, "_shocking_," to everything you presented. Hard to win.

Rin was talking to Sesshoumaru when she heard the guy say flatly through his glasses and not his stubble mouth, "_Fifteen-eighteen_."

Expensive...she looked in her wallet and was surprised- how did she only have ten dollars? When had _that_ happened? Her mind tried to figure like lightning whether or not she had leant anyone money as she looked in the little pockets for stray bills...and found none.

She looked self-consciously to Sesshoumaru who had not looked at her, she could tell whether he just wasn't looking or if he was being polite. She asked, with a heat in her tone, "Uhm, do you have five dollars I could borrow?"

With smoothness and facility he took out his wallet...she watched him take out the bill. The cashier looked flatly at them and didn't care.

But it seemed as though everyone in this place was busy, because one guy behind them said, "Uhm, what is the _holdup_?"

Rin didn't think to say anything. Sesshoumaru slipped her the bill...then he turned and said, "We didn't realize you were the Ambassador." Rin giggled and his eyes lingered on her face for a moment.

The man said something but it was too late, and whatever he had said had died on the little wind. There were no more questions asked.

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The sun was setting as they walked back toward the house, bag in hand. Perhaps it was the weather, but Rin was perceiving just about everyone differently. There was a new keenness with which she regarded Sesshoumaru- because today there had been recesses in him that she had not noticed before. Maybe she had earlier seen the possibility of them, but the layers hadn't been stripped until today, and the newness in him was very strange. It was still strong, but something about it was like fertile ground- like loamy earth...less of the wind in his demeanor.

The evening stars were already abovehead swirled in mystic clouds, but they were wrapped in pink and fleshy purple, and mingled with the strange blue-gray sky. The sun was blazing above the heads of brownstones. A woman lolled idly on her fire escape above a Chinese grocery. The pink had invaded the evening already.

"I've never seen this building before," Rin noted, pointing to a shorter building in tan bricks with large tinted glass windows and a no-smoking sticker on the single glass door. There was large sound coming from within.

Sesshoumaru stopped and she followed suit, a head shorter than him and looking small next to him. They read the banner. People passed in back of them. It said, "GRAND-OPENING: GRAN BAILE. PARTY FOR ALL- ALL ARE WELCOME."

They looked at each other. "Sounds interesting," Rin said, her curiosity invoked, and she knew that she had mirrored his feelings in the two words. They stepped inside and found themselves in a small room with a dark atmosphere and neon lights; a wooden bar close to the entrance. Everything seemed compact and smoky. "Smoky" meant both figuratively and literally- there were people smoking just about everywhere you looked. Rin thought maybe that was why the windows were tinted...

People were talking excitedly and milling around in compact groups. They had arrived in what seemed to be that lolling pause between sets of music. There was beer all around and some people handed them a bottle as they walked in.

They went to the bar first. Sesshoumaru asked if she wanted another drink. She said no; was comfortable with the beer. They hung around the bar and drank.

A man next to them had hollowed out, eager eyes, and began to explain to them about how they were protesting the injustices and abuses done to their rights in not allowing them to smoke in restaurants, "as they had done in France." Said he was a middle-aged man and that it was perfectly natural that he could do what he want. His English was crippled by a slurring European accent and a gray scarf. "Of course, you, as a young couple, would understand the circumstance," he offered, his hands moving wildly.

They both nodded but didn't protest. Rin grew into a fever rush...an Asian girl with a blunt-cut bob and red streaks through her hair rushed by with a girl with silver hair, both in heels-and-corsets getup. The night seemed to be coming pretty quick, and she could feel the pace beginning to quicken.

Their new friend talked to them a little longer, but then she heard a speaker hook up...and a strange, Blondie-type, attitude-guitar-riff came in...a beat started and "Could You Be Loved?" blasted in from all around.

Rin looked at Sesshoumaru with fire in her eyes. "Do you want to dance?" she asked him, feeling the music choke up through her throat, and pulse through her arms.

Her forwardness came onto him strong and he accepted the offer with no trace of the slyness she put onto him. He took her hand.

They left the bag with their new friend and then went out to the silver dance floor beneath the darkness and lights...she felt them spin and felt him move her through the beats, through the beat and rhythm of the chorus...the harmonizing...the keyboards ran through her head...

The smoke was overhead and all around...she threw her head back and looked over Sesshoumaru. The song gave words to the question that had only begun to form dimly in her mind.

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They stumbled back home while she laughed and he listened and then he talked...the pinks were now dark blue and the night's cold crept up her legs and contained a freshness that sat down in the empty chamber of her chest. She breathed out sweetly.

They approached the house. Her heart sunk when she saw someone standing in suspense on the porch...

It was Sango, and as her soft brown eyes perceived them, Rin couldn't read the reaction in them. Rin stopped some feet short of the porch, felt a wave of guilt wash over her, felt rotten as she seemed. She looked up at Sesshoumaru's pale moon of a face.

"Wow! Turned out fun," she laughed.

He nodded. "It did," he repeated, and his eyes were close to hers.

She was knocked out of her senses for a moment. "Oh- your five dollars," she said suddenly, breaking away. "Can I pay you back tomorrow?"

He nodded again. "Goodnight," he told her, and she looked up and noticed it was night already.

"Goodnight," she said- but stopped short of hugging him for the guilt. She only waved- she couldn't hug him now, and she knew in the bottom of her feet that it was mostly because she didn't want to in front of Sango- not while someone was watching. Rotten feeling piled on rotten feeling. She waved, but limply. This earned a subtly skeptical look from Sesshoumaru. Rin immediately regretted it and wished she hadn't of done that just to assuage a guilty feeling, because it was rotten that way. She also felt like she had been hit on the neck- she felt like she was between two things, torn between two tangible ideas, and she felt like she was being battered on both sides because she couldn't choose- and choosing wasn't easy...

She still watched him halfway down the street. She waved to him some more, then she went up the stairs.

Sango was in a purplish-red shirt that crossed over her shoulders and she was wearing dark pants. Something was different about her clothing- something was fresher than it had been...she couldn't put her finger on it, but she looked newer and less tired- although the remnants of her powdery, fragmented gentleness were still sleepy in her eyes. "Jeez, Rin! Where were you?!" she scolded as Rin came up to the landing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Rin repeated haphazardly.

Sango laughed. "I'm just kidding," she said, airily. Rin suddenly felt worse, but tried to shake it off.

"How long were you waiting?" she asked fussily.

"Only twenty minutes or so," Sango answered.

"Only twenty minutes!" Rin breathed, opening the door.

"I'm sorry- I didn't bring my keys," Sango said, "I thought you would be here."

Didn't matter either way, Rin thought, with a tone of darkness that she couldn't shake off no matter how much she put it into words. The night truly descended and she could feel blue and purple around her and could feel it hanging in the trees; it was pretty cold...she turned on the light when she got in.

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Kohaku was sitting sullenly at the head of the table above a steaming plate, just been schooled by Sango and feeling that eye-rolling heat on his face. The light that was overhead and the window made everything flash as if in a movie; had that dark, cave-like lighting. Rin could see the fire back in Kohaku's face. Sango was laughing at her own joke.

"Why did you let her _in_ anyway?" Kohaku half-mumbled and half-commanded, pointing a thumb at Sango. "No, I'm serious!" he protested to her smile.

"She knew that I would be absolutely _awesome_ today," Sango answered, with a roguish smile, "And I am- I'm kickass today."

"You couldn't kick a pink cocker _spaniel's_ ass," Kohaku mumbled, sending a steamy potato Sango's way.

It fell on Sango's shoulder and made a stain. "Oh! Ugh!" she cried in serious repulsion, taking her shirt and looking at the stain, "You little jerk! This is war!"

"Do you just come here to irritate me?" Kohaku asked. His face was flat and his tone was cool. There was no food flying at him, because Sango was polite- despite coming here and tearing up the rooms with her war noise and laughter, she was reserved and didn't want to cause trouble. Rin smiled at both of them- that way, they were all content, she guessed. She was used to this, so it was comforting- especially underneath the warm, cutting light.

Some laugh was being finished. Sonorous melodies that gave back the day were ringing in Rin's mind, and she was getting flashes of its character...Kohaku said something. Sango answered, then said, "This is great, Rin."

Rin smiled back. "Thanks," she answered, and both of the others detected something different in her voice- latent, but fiery, and weird to be coming from Rin.

"Did you buy the potatoes today...?" Sango asked, wondering. "I don't remember seeing them in the fridge..."

"No," Rin sighed, brushing hair past her shoulder...her eyes and mind drifted and wandered. She was hesitant to say it, but she said, "I only bought seeds today."

"Seeds?" Sango repeated, seeming not to understand...seeming to come from a long, misty ways off.

Kohaku's attention was caught. His eyes were slightly fixed on Rin. She explained. "Yeah, to replace the other ones."

"What's wrong with the other ones?" Kohaku answered, waywardly.

"They're not perennial," Rin answered. "That means, they only grow during a certain time, then they die." Kohaku looked stubbornly bewildered. Rin laughed and the arms of her voice enveloped him and rocked him comfortingly. "It's okay- I bought vegetables...so I can make soups and stuff when it gets cold."

"That's a good idea," Sango nodded, approvingly, matronly.

"I thought so," Rin answered, and took up another bite giddily.

Kohaku was still a little confused but he didn't say much. He said, "What'd you buy?"

"I bought carrots, stuff like that...come to think of it I think the ivy will last through the fall," Rin surmised. "I also bought...some flowers. Orange and purple."

"Jeez- you gonna need help, babe?" Kohaku asked, thumbing at his plate.

He'd caught her attention again, no two ways about it, with the small moving, turns around small obstacles..."I don't think so," she shook her head.

He paused, but then a smile came over his face, houndish and slick. "Maybe Sango can help you- 'cause she's a big manly lumberjack," he said drolly.

"Oh, stop it, you big idiot," Sango said, chidingly, her gaze flashing to him.

"Maybe you can get Miroku to help out," he continued, laughed like bells into the wind.

Sango's face twisted and furrowed. "Why do you keep harping on that? You dumb twerp. You just can't find anything else to get me with."

Attention had shifted back to Rin again. "How much was all of that, anyway?" Sango asked.

Rin answered automatically, didn't think. She didn't see the reason she needed to tiptoe. "Fifteen dollars, I think."

"Whoa! That's expensive," Sango laughed, but her laugh had dissolved into the quick expression that came onto Kohaku's face when he had sniffed out the discrepancy that gave Rin away. When she saw that look it was like a cold sweat on her neck. Her senses went on alert and she looked at him.

"Didn't you only have ten dollars in your wallet this morning?" he asked causally.

"Uhm, yah, I guess," she answered, picking at the food on her plate- shoving a bite past her teeth.

"Yeah, you did," Kohaku answered, his face meditating on the point. His focus was like lightning. "Because I took five out this morning- for gas. I said I'd pay you back at the end of the day."

The atmosphere had steadied and become slow- had become cold like the rest of it outside. Sango sat a little cautiously in between them.

Rin's mind had decided she had two choices- drag the matter out longer, or just say she'd been out with Sesshoumaru. She didn't see why it mattered so much anyway- or why she was even hesitating. It wasn't like she had done anything wrong. And it wasn't as though it really mattered, anyway- it wasn't anything. The thought that it mattered irritated her, but the fire was in Kohaku's face, and it made her think twice. She got over it, though. "I, uhm- went out with Sesshoumaru today," she said, nervous casualness pushing into her tone and injecting, forcing itself.

Kohaku's eyes slickened and he looked more sullen, sank into his chair. "I thought _you_ weren't going anyplace today," he threw at her, like complaining.

Rin looked over at him and felt sorry and felt sad, felt like she had really done something wrong- knew she had. She couldn't tell, but she felt as though he was just a kid- just a helpless kid- working for himself and having a rough time. Working six days a week. It was unfair- it wasn't a justice at all that she should be so careless with her time and so reckless with him, that she should blow through as though she didn't have to think about it. She bit her lip and wanted to make up for it but she didn't know how. She showed no outward signs in her arms or legs but the emotion had built itself into the tilt of her head.

Sango was sitting between, she was trying to alleviate the situation. "Aw, it's okay, it's okay," Sango said, waving her hands a bit and smiling, "All he did was lend her some money."

She didn't know whether or not he had a problem with Sesshoumaru- but that was irrelevant, because he was working- and for what? For her to enjoy herself. She built up the work anger. The meal was over. She got up and cleaned the plates with Sango. Kohaku left the room, brooding. Sango and her talked for a bit; then Sango left into the night, shy because she couldn't say anymore. Rin pulled at the collar of her shirt. She was just waiting for it to rain. Kohaku was somewhere in the house, but she couldn't see where. Very hard.

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The lighting in back was like a stage, and the room's polished wood was a dizzy feeling that was stars and alcohol. Some smoke was drifting up back here; through a dark window, a fire escape was sitting.

Rin came into the room dressed all in black and saw Kouga and the others playing cards around a table. "Hi, guys," she said, like stone and ice.

"Oh hey, Rin," Kouga answered, biting down on the stick hanging out of his mouth. His face wasn't without that statue thing, but it was just to a lesser degree- wasn't something she thought about much.

Redheaded Ayame blustered through the door with a tray of empty dishes and disappeared into another corridor, filled with dark and mystery. "You wanna play?" Kouga offered.

"Got one extra seat," another guy piped, almost like a laugh.

Rin looked over the cards with a gambling curiosity. "Can I do one draw?"

"Shore," the other guy responded, and pulled the chair for her.

The cards were laid out, all dealt; she looked misty at her hand, and above it was candlelight and the night's magic mystery. One pair. She figured she could get rid of the other card and try her luck for three...or maybe get a Queen and have another pair...She'd save this Queen; the Queen of Spades. She was feeling good about it, for some reason.

"So...what'd _you_ make in tips tonight, kid?" Kouga said, his head in the air, smiling toothily. His arrogant bravo swing had sparked up and was taking charge.

"A million dollars," Rin answered, with a pirate's smile but a kid's giggle, putting away the three of hearts and drawing another card.

She turned it on its face and a rush passed through her fingers. But it was a bad draw; it was only the three of diamonds. A shot of bad luck passed through her. If her thinking was right, she would've had two pairs...and all of the same suits. The Queen of Spades was staring with a menacing yet apathetic smile. She felt slightly betrayed but moreso duped by the good feeling she'd had about it.

"Yeah? I'll bet- I saw that guy, up on ya- you make sure you don't get into that rack, hey? That guy was sure trouble- guarantee it," Kouga said. His poker face was bad- he was obviously disappointed about his draw, and his sharp hand set itself down on the table. Someone flipped on the radio.

"Sure," Rin answered, deciding what to do. She looked at the Queen of Spades. She hadn't done so well with this lady- had been duped by her looks- so she decided to put her away, get rid of her when she wasn't any use. An atmosphere had developed. Ayame swung through the doors and blindly went immediately out.

"I mean it," Kouga said. He looked up at the ceiling. "YEP- that's only the kinda guy who'll pick a girl like you out- likes you 'cause you look innocent. You ever have any trouble with some effin' creep, you talk to me about it," he commanded, pointing to himself. Kouga was a good guy- he was caring.

But he was also melancholic. "Used to pick on girls like your sister all the time." He paused, threw some cards in, then was satisfied- smiled toothily. "How's she doing, anyway?" he asked, forcing himself to be casual.

"Uhm, she's okay," Rin answered, shrugging. She drew another card.

"Oh." He drifted into a memory, and his face turned dark- his mood turned scornful.

She flipped the card onto its back, and it revealed the face. The King of Diamonds. A coincidental card. She looked at it hesitantly, tried to look in its face. She felt something about this card- it was odd that it would turn up. She trusted cards, for the most part.

"This fucking card," Kouga spat. "Everyone ready?"

"I am," Rin said.

The other guy agreed lackadaisically. "Yeah, sure."

The showed cards. The guy had four Aces- lucky one- Kouga had a pair of twos and Rin had a pair of eights. "I win," the guy speculated, indifferently.

"Lucky," Kouga scoffed.

"Okay," Rin said, digging into the pockets of her jeans for change.

Kouga stopped and stared, paused into the wild space, looked into the air and breeze. "But, you know, your sister had spunk. That was what set her apart. Whatever 'it' was- she _had_ it."

Rin wondered if he had had a little too much to drink, but then she got up, and thought it was nice of him. The wonder in his tone was strange. She got her jacket. "Okay- bye, guys- see you around."

"Okay," Kouga said. "Don't get into trouble, kid. You got trouble written all over ya." They smiled at each other. Then she waved and got into the night.

She walked down the street. The money was in a wad, in her jeans. She carried her jacket over one arm.

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Kohaku was waiting for her. "Hey," he said, at the door. Illuminated by spilling light- the patron saint of light and hunger- he stood lean at the door. "Your ice-block friend called here for you."

She paused, coming up the steps. Sesshoumaru had called? She was curious. "Oh, really?" she asked.

She came near to him. They tarried for a moment; then he hugged her, wrapped her for the world to see. "Jeez, Rin, I'm so sorry for getting mad," Kohaku told her. "'Specially since you're the only thing I really _actually_ care about."

She looked in his face. Could she say the same? Could she feel similarly? She held his hand and stepped inside.

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Rin got out early the next day and the sun was blazing hot; she'd get a good hold on these plants today...and she needed to take some up by the root. She needed to shift some, to fit others...the planters were clean waiting to get dirty.

She worked for a while, the sun was out. The wind came up fresh and cold, but the sun was boiling; it felt like spring's gaze. She threw her hair back. The sun was getting lower, and it was almost coming time...

A silver blur down the street, tin bells tinkling nearby, making rain melodies...money in hand. She smiled away from the sun and to his figure.

"Hi!" she called to him. "I thought I'd save you some of this plant!" She remembered his response to it- "is this legal?"

She didn't see his reaction. You got trouble written all over you, kid.

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_A/N_: But of course that's not it! Stay tuned!


	7. Silver Picture Moves So Slow

A/N: Well, it's been a long time- there were lotsa computer problems- broken down engines, batteries outta juice, Vegas wire explosions, etc. Anyway, I'm really sorry for keeping everybody waiting for so long, and I wanned to thank everybody for reading & reviewing. I appreciate it.

Review Responses

_Langus_- Glad ya liked this chapter- anyway, what exactly did you mean by double entendre? I'm just curious as to what you were talking about, I think I know what you mean. Yeah, I dislike superfluousness- with some characters, you can have them talk superficial, because that's the typa person they are; but with Sesshoumaru and to some extent Rin I can't have them talk that way, their relationship runs on different levels. Oh by the way, somebody mentioned that you nominated me for something, so I wanted to thank you lots for that as well.

_gerigirl_- Yeah, Rin's hella confused- ya hit the nail on the head. Then again, pretty much everybody in this story is mixed-up except Sesshoumary...And she _might_ be falling for him- hehe, read this chapter and you'll find out. Glad you liked & thanks for reviewing!

_kagome7304_- Thanks for the review! Hope ya like this chapter.

_SweetAyu_- Thanks so much! Hope you like this chap.

_Tupelo Thief_- Sheik Magnifique! Anyway, yeah, their relationship is made up of combinations of quite moments & cosmic explosions, small ones tho. Well, you read this chap already, so there ain't much to say. Well, turn all the dials if you want, but they all make your house explode, so. Yeah.

_Chranze_- I appreciate that you said that, that the writing is smooth- if there's anything I worry about it's being incoherent in my writing. Anyway, yeah! Kagome's past is looming on the horizon. Thanks for the review!

_Nya the cute_- Your review wasn't weird at all, but then again, that might be my ego talkin, hehe. I really appreciate that you like my style- I think that literature is art, and I try to have the writing have that same effect as a painting would, as music would- to have it mean something. But it's really cool to get a review like this, so thanks so much.

_Catbaker_- Thanks so much! Yeah, the story might be SesshXRin, but Kohaku is an obvious part of it, and his role increases in importance as this'll go along. Thanks so much for the review! But what's the Inuyasha Fanguild thingy?

_Frog Lady_- You said it reminded you of some romantic authors- were you thinkin F. Scott Fitzgerald? Not that I think I'm F. Scott Fitzgerald or anything, but there was a library copy of Tender is the Night lying around while I was writin this, prolly sent me some good vibrations. Anyway, I'm really glad you like it, and thanks so much for the compliments- I try to round it out, make it all happen in real time. Although, I'm not published, hehe.

_katie33h_- ROFL "THE TITLE KIND OF SUCKS" XDDD that's so funny! but no no, it's supposed to be obvious, that's the appeal of it- the kind of bravado of somebody just outright saying to you, "leave him for me" is what I was aiming at- anyway the title's not even mine, so I wash my hands of all suckiness. Anyway, I'm glad you read it anyway- in response to what you said, yah, I try to write the way people think- like as it happens in 3-D, y'know, not too much literary crap goin' on. Thanks so much for the review & I hope you enjoy this chap!

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_Chapter Seven_: Silver Pictures Move So Slow

She was having dinner with Sesshoumaru tonight. Some weekend night, some low-down Saturday; dog day blustered and bummed by the blue rain...She was putting on earrings in the mirror- red and gold. She was in the vague, dim lighthouse light that silently buzzed and calmly moved through the house, swam like some sound...was warmly lit, looking at the mirror image.

The rain was blowing outside, it created a feeling inside- if you got through the warm veil, you could feel the shaky energy, the prescence of moving things. Things hustling, the windy rain...the evening outside.

Kohaku was in the kitchen. Shirtless, Illinois kid, talking volumes bout industry

and the prescence of spirits. He was moving round small by the stove. The sizzling pan echoed.

What time was it- she started to finish up, move dreamy like a windy wheel into the kitchen- and her brain was reeling, on alert, but she brought cool water with her, shook it clean and deep into the kitchen. She paused; then went to the radio, turned on its dial. Crackling waves rounded and curved like a sonic screech, then through the mist of sound, came a telling chord, the mooning of a dreamy slide guitar. She looked at Kohaku, stirred up and focused on what he was doing, concentrated energy abounding in that slightly turned brow, the heavy corners of his mouth- the way warm light shone sweat on his pale face. He was making eggs for himself; she wouldn't be around to cook.

The radio crooned on, up, down, and she paused a quarter between the sighing window and the crooning energy radio. Her fingers moved impatiently; underneath the serene, tense calm of her face, there were revolutions, reboundings, markings, scratch-up, calculations- the heavyset of dreams...she snapped her fingers silently, curled up into quick fists. She tossed her head to the side and looked at the dying rain. Then she leaned against the wall to cool a bit and watched it slowly fade, watched the steady hum of the glowing light.

Kohaku opened up a window with some struggle, and then it was cool in here- autumn's chilly velvet hand touching on summer's deep moss, the dampness of it. There was freshness on the air, then that was when Kohaku caught a glimpse of Rin. He saw her simply first, but then _saw_ her, noticed her.

He looked her over, turned his head to the side, hungry wolf. She wore charcoal gray, black jeans were hanging over the back of a bent chair; her hat was on square; her bag was deep red. She was hiding nothing. Her face was cool- she breathed cool air, the sighing of her was like a great breeze- a great torrent to his steady calm, a tropical hurricane. She was the moonlight on snow. She looked like she was thinking about something, stirring silently on it, but his eyes only saw the great mass in her that blew him back and forth. "Jeez," he began to mutter, and her flashing eyes caught him quickly. "I should take _you_ out more often." He said it as though through a mouth of food.

She smiled at him and he melted. Then she was listening to the radio; she sat down at the chair, trying to cool down. The rain outside was a mystic swallowing and she felt every inch of the terrible energy it stirred. What made her restless was this magic nervousness about the king on a donkey, the palms in his walk...the death in his quick stare. Today would be fun, she thought- it seemed that way from the dying rain outside the dining room window, and the pearly night, the purple evening. Tonight would be good; she couldn't put words on the thought, couldn't pin it down that way, but she was anticipating it, from the swirling in her head to the white in her hands. She put her bag on the table.

Kohaku still eyed her as he slid the eggs off onto a plate, filled the pan up with cool water in the sink; said, "Where're you _going_, anyhow?"

"Oh," she replied, busying herself with envelopes, looking over junk mail with half-concious eyes, "Out to dinner..." She looked a little at Kohaku just to see his face. "Nothing big, I guess."

"Nothing big? Then why're you dressed like _that_?" he asked, pouring himself a drink. He turned from the granite counter and he as ghost met her as living grass- as growing flower, as stirring ocean- something countless and alive.

She turned to smile at him but he waved it off. "You're gonna kill someone, I know it," he said mystically, sitting down next to her. He looked her over once more. "If I could...get off sometime. You know."

She nodded. Fire and hot tire, the blade turning, countless jewels and riches in warm that lasted for miles, the grass living on for years, rich soil underfoot, the ocean for a lifetime- that was what she was getting, it was what she felt moving in her blood- but she didn't know how to go about getting it or how to organize it. She didn't know where to start. She felt in the middle of a road somewhere on the deserted outskirts. She didn't even know if that was the right direction...and looking at Kohaku was just another way to be confused.

And thinking about it irritated her anyway. She looked out the window- anticipating his arrival. She wondered what Sesshoumaru would wear, then got up and fixed herself a drink. "I feel like Chinese," she mused at large.

"Oh yeah? That sounds okay...what about him?" he asked like a casual vulture- leader of the pack.

"I don't know," she said, her voice low and distant in the mind. "We didn't really talk about it."

There was a pause, after a clattering of silver. Then he scoffed, "Big surprise."

She turned to him and laughed in steps. He shrugged. "He talks about as much as a _wall_," he mumbled.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she said, her tone casual- because that was what she thought, anyway.

Kohaku raised an eyebrow. "What's that mean?" he asked through a rude mouthful.

Rin tensed, tossed hair over her shoulders, moved a piece slickly from her eyes. "I guess- I don't know, it kind of seems to me like- like he doesn't waste words. I don't mind it- sometimes it's more relaxing. He's..."

Her eyes paced over him for a reaction, but he just shrugged and got up and moodily cleaned his plate at the sink. He was holding himself at the back- holding himself like a dancer does- his posture lack and aloof, trying not to care. She felt sorry for him, a little, then almost laughed at his way of doing things- that way of moving, of feeling, that was all him, that was individual, neat. Then she started to think that maybe she couldn't speak so freely for him. It was stupid of her, in the first place, to bring it up. It was stupid, she guessed, that she didn't just hold her tongue for the time being. She blanked out and looked out the window, holding her glass with both hands, feeling like a sage and a bum.

Kohaku finished washing his plate and sat down again next to her. "Where'd you get those shoes, anyhow?" he asked, turning his hawk's quick eyes down to her feet.

She paused. "These?" she asked, tentatively looking down. "...I got them at Forrest Hills. That time we stayed with Ayame...at her dad's place."

He thought for a minute. "Oh yeah, that. Jeez, if I could afford something like that...her dad must be a big sleazeball," he laughed to himself, rollicking in his own joke.

She laughed, too; but then out the window she caught the glimpse of the familiar colors, the slow, lofty walk- and then in the shade of the biting mist, the cool, slow, soft. Her heart jumped over the fence and then bounded. She wondered that her reactions were so quick- wondered how she was so quick all of a sudden. "Oh, there he is now," she said, getting up, slinging her bag over one arm. She pushed the chair in and looked down at the floor.

"What? Really?" Kohaku asked, craning his neck to see out the window, stretching it left and right.

"Yeah," she said. She slipped on her jeans and shoes and started to the door. "I saw him walking in front of the house, anyway."

Kohaku got up and stretched, walked to the window and looked out. She was fast like wind, in no time she was pattering softly like lace and powder over the hardwood floor. "Oh yeah, you're right," he said, his tone trying for cool- but messing up and betraying him, becoming sullen and sunk. "Is it still raining?"

"No, I don't think so," she said, looking distractedly out.

"Need an umbrella?"

"No thanks," she answered. She turned and kissed him on the mouth. His hand shot up to touch his neck.

"Hey, watch it-" he started to say to her, his eyes honest with admiration, shining with light and bewilderment, but she was starting windy toward the door. He sighed, asked, when would she be back.

"Oh- before ten," she said. She was sorry to leave him alone- like she always was. But on the other hand, she was always confident- always ready, and not fearing hurt. She couldn't think of much that she was apprehensive about. She had fears, but they were all tangible- and created by real circumstances. She knew that she would be back again tonight, so why should anybody go and cry about it? It wasn't that big of a deal. But she didn't want to cause him pain, sly kid he was, and that was where the trouble came in. Her eyes were sensitive when she looked over this, brooded over this problem- she didn't want to cause pain, didn't want to be the cause of suffering- didn't want to have to deal with the mess of trouble- but she seemed to be more in touch with all of it lately. Interesting, at least.

To think of the street, to think of the masses, the wind and moisture, the airy cool smoke scent that hung sweet on garbage air, the slick sidewalk- then the faint neon lights, was too much. It could send her nerves into a frenzy with wild sick anticipation- it could give her fever. She gave the house one last pouring look- the house looked different than any place else. She turned to Kohaku and reached her hand to him; he grabbed slightly at her thin wrist. She smiled. "See you then," she saluted cheerfully. He brooded and said nothing back.

The door opened and that fresh air came back all around her, with the mingled scent of food on the breeze, the smell of a wet dog nearby...and Sesshoumaru at the bottom of the steps. A gang of teenagers was milling around on a stoop nearby; one of them had on a skeleton shirt. But her attention was fierce on the him now, and she saw him at the bottom of the steps looking like flurried rich, looking like a star in the vast sky, looking like a juke box king. His eyes were almost unseeable in the purple evening, but for their presence and their calm shine. His shoulders sloped like peasant rags, like motorcycle kids- and he stood with the inevitable posture of triumph. He looked like a winner. His hair was clean- he looked clean and unavoidable, but something about him that she liked especially was discreet and quiet, in the dark, soft cloth of his black sweater, the wash of his jeans. He was the King of Diamonds from the soil.

But something about him was haunting and street today. It could've been the streelamp faintly backing him in a swimming pool. She came down the steps, to see that his sweater wasn't black, just a very dark blue. Indulging- swallowing straight down. "Hi," she said, looking at his face, and now ready.

He just nodded. The way he looked down at her- its comforting patience, binding him to her. They started a shifting walk down the street. "We beat the rain," she mused.

"Wasn't bad," he answered.

"Where's your car?" she asked, faintly, looking around.

"I can't afford the gas," he said, simply, casually- like it was a fact.

She looked over him. The rich in rags. Looked like he was only for the best, nothing else. Looked like he lived in a house made of purple velvet. Thousands of people couldn't afford the gas- but it was weird from him, because he looked to her as though he transcended in every way imaginable. The way she thought of him was like that. But then he said that.

Knocked off her feet, she guessed, and she kept rolling with the punches. "It's more expensive here than out West...you live in an apartment, right?" she asked.

"A cave," he answered simply.

She laughed; accidentally walked closer to him. She paused. "You've never been in my house, have you?" she pondered, thinking to the sky.

"No," he answered. He squinted like a Marlboro cowboy in the white neon light.

She nodded to herself thoughtfully. "I could have you over for dinner, sometime..." she asked herself, wondering if that was really even true. Wouldn't Kohaku mind? But after this, she thought, it would be nice to have him over even just once...she looked over him.

Then a fire came through the center of her, made its line down the middle and cut her in lower two. "Where do you want to eat?" she asked, nervous but wary, the sudden energy tensing in her, making her stomach tighten and the shoulders rough. Her tone wandered around. There was a twist in energy going on.

"This place..." he answered, vaguely. She hurried her step to catch up with him. Her brain was almost having a nervous attack. She was almost too tense for health. But she tried to remain on track. Something about him had struck her- maybe it was him in dark blue, under pools of city light, walking in tandem to the rush and beat of the thumping heart of the city...then maybe it was that rush of anticipation hitting full force in the first five minutes. Or maybe it was an eerie premonition she'd gotten. When walking near to him, his hand moved near hers- it wasn't much, physically- he hadn't made a move or anything to hold her hand, but his hand had just been close to hers and had moved as he walked. When she felt his hand move, suddenly she felt an awkwardness as to how she should move next- she felt that the movement was in relation to him, for some reason. It was awkwardly physically magnetic- that weird attraction to a stranger you sometimes get. Her energy had scattered and then concentrated.

She looked at his face. He betrayed no emotion. She'd let him decide where to eat, anyway. A blue car whirled by. Her eyes followed it in the air. She didn't want to let it bother her, but she couldn't help but notice something...

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It was a Chinese place, a place with a neon sign above the counter, along a street a couple of blocks away. A counter along the back wall, adjacent to the kitchen which was visible and half-hidden by two doorways, and tables in front of it. Some people were already there, namely a guy and his girlfriend who got kind of cagey when she and Sesshoumaru walked in. A bright white sign above the counter that glowed like holy lamplight, with glowing pictures of food blown-up next to lists...the clamor of the kitchen was clean and it was greasy too, indifferent. A round man stood at the counter with his hair balding.

Sesshoumaru ordered chicken, and Rin ordered pepper steak, and they both shared a Coke that Rin pointed out from behind the counter. And the way he ordered it was deathly, too- just listed what he wanted, plain and simple. Rin thought that he was hip to kill and licensed to ill and had a swinging style about him, and thought dimly and with a pirate's smile that she could roll that way, if that was the way he wanted to. She liked his style, and she liked it a _lot_. There was this obvious something about him that didn't need to be polite, didn't need to satisfy anybody, and she liked it a lot.

But that wasn't all she liked, she guessed- through the slit panel of a criminal, to catch his face through a cloister- to see its white holy light, like a pale flower, like a summer samba, like death. The way he moved, that slung-back grace, that easy cool- taking to gravity like it was no one's business. The way he looked at her and spoke.

The rain outside had started to beat down gracefully, had started to pat rythyms. Staccato rythyms. People bustled by. Sesshoumaru brought a tray over to the table where she was standing. "We're lucky, today," she mused contentedly, looking out the window, "We keep beating the rain." He didn't say anything, just handed her plate to her. "I didn't bring an umbrella. Did you?"

"No," he answered. His eyes paced and then rested coolly on the street; they stopped their run and settled down, like setting into a cool soft blackout blues. Like sinking into a soft, black bed. Warmth in them. She looked at him and then to the street and filled with nervous energy, she shifted her weight on one hip, drew herself further away from him. He was magnetic.

His eyes flicked. The neon sign and the acoustic tiles beat over his head. New York Beat King. Alleys and garbage cans. They watched the rain.

Rin was listening but also half-tired- half-alive with every nerve tingling. Being alive in your mind, but asleep in your body- lulled to it. Ain't nothing but hollow feeling. "Do we have napkins?" she questioned, looking about.

His seafoam hand reached one out to her. She questioned the hand at first and then was a little suspicious of its dark tone, the implication; she was thinking of running from it, to save the spark of her hand to his. It was scary, but she quickly took it anyway. "Thank you," she answered, half-in-dreams. He just nodded.

She thought this had gone away; but now she was seeing that thing again- that _leaning_ that he did so subtly- that sudden stormy hinting that he put on so discreetly- the way to make up for it, to veil it with a snowstorm lace- then to strike like thunder- finally to finish it up by dissappearing into the mist. But she felt like a child near him. His hand reached to her and she felt nothing but white hot electricity- and why? Confusion set in, it barged in through the door and suddenly set up camp on the living room floor, demanding to be fed and clothed. She didn't know what to make of it. This hadn't come suddenly- she knew that it had been building up- but now she couldn't even remember what her feelings had been before.

"What...how are you feeling?" she asked him, recovering, her eyes darting to him- pose casual.

"Fine...only a headache," he answered. In his eyes were clouds and dreams that lasted on for millions of years. He looked cloudy and misty, actually- like being in a room but separated by a pale lavendar smokescreen. It may have been the headache; he looked groggy.

She nodded affirmatively to him- then the rubber band snapped back the spark. "Oh- I have aspirin in my bag," she said, hugging her bag to her chest. "I never really get headaches or pains, though...I just take it with Coke sometimes. I like the taste I guess- or is it the feeling?...You want one or two?"

'Two," he answered, looking with delicacy at her hands.

"Okay...I'm actually a doctor," she smiled to herself. She took out a pillbox- silver and square, looking like a velvet curve that a ring comes in- and took two aspirins out, handed them to him. "I have a PHD. I'm older than I look. Here you go."

"Thank you," he answered, taking both and downing the Coke.

Dust and appleseeds. Rin smiled at him and said slickly, "You're kinda heavy-duty."

"The more the merrier," he replied. "Why do you take aspirin with Coke?"

"Just like it," she answered. He didn't respond. "Rain's pretty good weather," she said, that face of hers- black lace and health- lit by neon lights, by cheap fluorescence, and pools of lamplight like swimming moon, "For tonight, I mean." Some people noticed that she looked best when the surroundings were cheap. He stared at her for a second and then his eyes meandered.

Her eyebrows knit together. "The way the moon and the street is too- when the moon rises it's really close- it's way yellow too, like a harvest moon...and the light is graying." He nodded as she pointed out the things on the street, the peoples wearing olive drab rainboots and coats, little kids with blue umbrellas, a girl with a frog umbrella- a girl pretty like a snake.

What she left out conciously, secret like a thief, was that there was a magic and moonlit allure to him on a night like this, a night that only highlighted everything good and essential about him. She decided to be tactful, but oh, the turning of his face- it was almost sharp pain for her to think of things in terms of this- this everlasting No, these shades of abstraction and loose morality, these mental closings and openings. She wondered how long she could keep it up and wondered how long before the race would fatigue her. This was beginning to get tiring. It was grief and she felt alone.

She ate more food. The man at the diagonal counter stared solemnly at them like a statue of the ancient world, but he realized sooner or later that he had nothing to do with king Sesshoumaru. He had half-eaten his food.

They stayed in there for half an hour more and soon were looking forward to having coffee. The things were scattered, garbage on the table; straw covers and empty sauce cups on it and half-eaten trays. Yellow light pounded the tiles on the ceiling above. There was shelter from the storm outside and everything felt wrapped up, concise, and comfortable; but then again there wasn't any coffee here.

Rin's eyes flashed to the big diagonal window. There was a cool outside like low slinking mist, like standing on a city corner...Rin busied herself with the trash they'd left behind. "How much do I owe you?" she asked with a small quietness, trying to minimize the practical aspects. She looked up at him half-ways, but her eyes flicked up a second time to see what was flowing in his face.

"Nothing," Sesshoumaru answered; the way his head turned, you'd think he was looking on a battlefield...he turned away from her, so that his face was a template of shadow and light- so that dark made angles on the gold that radiated from all of him, that made him so straight and noble-looking- so that a crisp linen light made him look sweet and loving...She nodded seriously and looked at his face with gravity. His eyes were gold when he looked back at her- and she, too, looked special- her face, the face of a black widow, of creeping lace; and her hair under cheap lights. His eyes passed her over with like being hungry for something. She could see for a minute that he turned his head with interest, but the interest had no effect on him, and he was just the same. As level as she was, she couldn't help but see that- like that.

"We'll head out," Sesshoumaru suggested, his tone filled with gentle and light. Rin agreed and threw the trays out while he stood looking curiously out at the rain. Oh, God. What a chore this was- she spit a silent curse at the way things are; then she rejoined the king, and next to him and in this light, waves of energy flowed from her to him. They made such a rush that even he felt it. He didn't pay it any mind, though...

Whoosh, bam, a gust of wind to the face, blowing left and scattering everything it knew nearby. The moon was full overhead like country wine, but they were in the pulsing wrist of the city. They walked a little bit; threw some coins into the tin bell cup of a blind man at storefront...walked by street vendors selling weird things. Walked by the gates in front of the streaming river, dark tall oak trees spinning and wild all above; the crazy people and the wolf moon; the flowers...

Rain rhythm like a song next to them and around them, and Rin could feel her head getting wet, but nothing inside her was dampened. She smelled a sugar roast nearby. "Let's stop and get some cashews," she asked him in low tones.

He looked half-down at her and agreed. The Spanish lady was on her phone but stopped her conversation to sell them some sweet cashews. Sesshoumaru paid- something in his kindness to her was sweet, but something about it was also singular and possesive. He was real strange, sometimes, but he swung her way and she understood him perfectly, to the silver tine of it. They ate while they walked.

"I never really have any good food," Rin mused, trying out the cashew for size, "I like street food better though. Food that costs money never tastes good."

Sesshoumaru looked down at her, to know what she meant. She rambled on, "I once went to a place that had a cheeseburger that had gruyer cheese on it...the worst burger I've ever had, I think."

There were arepas baking somewhere nearby and there was also the smell of smoking meat; then the coffee-sweet smell of cigarette smoke. Rin turned to see Sesshoumaru lighting a cigarette, trying twice against the wind and falling on heads-up coin-toss luck the second time. Somewhere in that glance she'd found something in his hands and in his forgiving, sturdy arms that lit a match in her. Her eyes followed it with a serious thought. He looked sideways at her and she could see he was taking a drag.

She stretched her arms a little to snap out that tense, short feeling in them. "I used to walk around like this with my sister," she said, a little cautiously.

"Your sister?" he asked, to continue the conversation, his gaze a mystical cracked one, as if surveying a mountainside. But instead of a smoking mountain it was the rain-intensified streets, powdered with a soft haze that splashed on the sidewalk and made a damp dream on the night air. Romance and fiddle on the moon.

"Oh, yeah, I have a sister," Rin answered cheerfully, "She's one or two years older than me, I forget sometimes...we used to go out a lot, I guess." She looked at her feet. "We did stuff like this. For a while, Kohaku and I used to only go out to dinner parties- after we got the house. People were throwing parties for us, a lot...it's good to be out on the street."

He nodded. She breathed in sweetly what he exhaled, with a sugar rumor in the impression of it, dampness making it all seem like black coffee. The bag of cashews was growing more empty by the minute. She looked up and scanned the sidewalk for a nearby trashcan.

While her molasses eyes were ahead of her, she felt the starry shock of contact, felt his fingers around the crook of her waist- felt him tug her sideways to the left, her whole person slipping toward him. She tried to regain her balance. People's fingers had felt her waist before, but they'd never been Sesshoumaru's, and her head got lit on fire for a second- was that happening? After some split moment her eyes looked down to see his hand holding steady there...then a slight movement of the fingers.

Was he going to say anything? She looked in his face. She felt bruised and thrown by him; she couldn't feel anything for him but white heat, she couldn't bring herself to ask for a reason. She couldn't say no to him, never could say no to him...not when he was like _that_. Saying no never entered into her mind. It just wasn't there.

Only his turbulent face, moving like a cool train fast ahead of her thoughts; and the long, sensual drag, his figure veiled in smoke- the shirt looking so weirdly conservative next to his body which was anything but. He looked straight ahead as though nothing were happening. He offered her a drag. His wrist rested on her hip, like a mother and child. She politely accepted.

Everything was starshine; she could feel nothing but an inexplicable feeling that swelled and rose in her. She loved his face; and his hands. A shiver ran up her spine when his fingers brushed her stomach. The rain was hazy.

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She didn't think about it as they headed up the street. There was nothing to think about. He broke off with her as they approached an all-night cafe and he let his whole arm slide off her, that patient way he moved...he took a last drag and threw the cigarette butt into the gutter behind them, and into the rain stream that cried out in its dark hollows. She looked into his face like stars were hanging in the theater. He led her in.

A Korean place, very clean; sold handrolls for three bucks at the counter, had a cute waitress...From one reality into the next. His touch had changed everything. Her senses said something's comfortable, and her heart was in gold radiation; but then, it was a small and hot feeling that hid in a corner. She got a table while he ordered.

A shivering energy ran all up and down her body. She couldn't shake this feeling off. Couldn't cry a smile from her eyes.

He got back to the table and they ate and drank...not a word was spoken on what had just happened. There were no words to be spoken.

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He walked her back home. The night was still cool and the rain had left a damp mist in the lightpool streets. There was no more physical contact, which left Rin a little confused; but it didn't matter. She walked toward the stairs.

"Goodnight," she said. Her tone was soft and low, bedroom tone.

"'Night," he answered. She took a fiery look at him; he could see the flame all in her eyes, but he didn't say much. Just looked back at her, his eyes still and peaceful. She walked up the porch as he lit a cigarette; then she waved goodbye and with a step left the misty night and walked into the warmth of white brightness and wood floors, metal in her hand, purse making a stone's weight on her shoulder. The coffee had hurt her stomach. She scratched her head as she walked in.

She looked around. The rooms were still and silent. It felt like no one lived here, felt like ghosts were greeting her at the door; felt like she deserved it. The only lights were lit by her. Kohaku was asleep. She wondered what time it was; suspended in the light of the kitchen, she walked across, still damp with mist. The microwave was standing still and silent, working without prompt. It read 11:02. She sighed deeply. Hard, ain't it hard; her shoulders were weary, her legs could walk no longer. She felt like sinking down into a deep sleep, didn't care if she never got up.

Nighttime darkness was closing over her eyes. She felt the lids drag down; felt her makeup get stale; felt her skin getting pale with weary lack of sleep. Felt her whole body grow tired. She started to move away from the kitchen window; but through it- down the street, she could she the sway of a figure, and the flaming circle, the cigarette button humming a tune low; wreathed in smoke. Oh, God, how she loved him. Pangs stung her heart.

She walked through the still, cool living room, breezy and comfortable, and into the bedroom...opening the door softly. Everything was familiar in here, and cool. Kohaku was sleeping like a baby, his thin limbs ghostlike and calm splayed on the comforter. For some reason her gaze lingered on him. Her eyes averted; she yawned sleepily and cocked her head to the side.

She went into the bathroom. She closed the door carefully and softly behind her, and then opened up the light so that it was soft and white, and so it wouldn't disturb Kohaku. She bent over the sink and turned on the water; splashed her face with hot water, smelled the clean sharp smell of white soap.

She dried her face on the towel that hung on the little rack. She looked back up and saw the bathroom walls, small and close, all around her. She saw the white tile, scrubbed clean. The buzzing light. She felt the hit of something that was familiar. She had felt this before...she thought about it for a moment while she was moving to get her toothbrush.

She had felt this before. Same white room, right after she had been to work, that first glum week...Loneliness. She realized what she had done to him. She felt the gravity of it...But hard, ain't it hard. She bit her lip and tried to forget about it.

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She approached the next day trying to forget what had happened; but unable to forget the sensations, the feeling of his hand around her...she went about it cautiously. It was Sunday, and Kohaku was off. They had dinner plans tonight.

She tried to move through the day with as much tact and thought as possible. She got up in the sunny morning and made breakfast; bacon and eggs. Kohaku walked out of the room as she was plating the food. She half-looked at him and then disregarded him, but he didn't notice.

"Morning," he yawned, catlike, stretching- oh, no, baby...He sat lazily down at the head of the kitchen table.

"Morning," she answered. She sat down at his right hand. She looked into his face. She tried to balance how things had felt; what were the right and logical thoughts; which mechanics worked, and which didn't. He looked well-rested.

He dug a shovel into his food and took a big bite- his pale hand on the dripping fork, bandaids all across his fingers- a patched-up fighting cat. "Hey, what happened to you yesterday?" he asked, making a pointing gesture to her with the fork, "You went all M.I.A. on me."

"Oh, we wanted to get some coffee- we were walking around a long time, anyway," she answered, thoughtfully, sort of shrugging off the question.

"Why didn't he take you in his horse and buggy?" he jeered, with a snort, taking another bite. She looked over his face and laughed. The sun was shifting in through the windows. "Isn't he, like, the duke of fucking _Buckingham_?"

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She was out with Sesshoumaru again. It was warm and sunny out; it was summer coming back again- Indian and red, leaves all on the ground already; sun warming gently, like baking the streets to clay. The stomping on the ground coupled the fall wind and made a song in the happy streets as the leaves rustled by.

Rin wore ink-colored jeans and a powder pink shirt, hat rakish; Sesshoumaru in white and dark jeans, and rolling like a drum as he walked with that gentle swagger- the way he looked you'd know he didn't know how to fall, he wouldn't be able to unless he tried. There was cool in every step, in every movement, the foundation of a thousand years.

She was wary but she was anxious, jittery; one movement would have been a hint. She was waiting to see what would happen, but there was no mention of it; there was not even an implication of it. Things rolled by normally. The same beat was keeping up. No major changes, no inconsistencies. The same as normal. It was confusing; but she knew he took things as he felt them, and she didn't mind that. The waiting was what she minded.

He moved slow, he moved like something sweet and sleepy...every little inflection; slip of the joint; his arm cool along the line of the sidewalk.

There was a deli on some low-down viney street across the curves and waves that blew up in Indian summer and quivered with nervous energy. It was near her house, within walking distance.

"This street is so quiet," she said with a smile, "It's always nicer here. The other streets are big, so there's traffic. But I like the sound of it...it's okay, too." She paused. "You have to deal with what you're given, I guess. So I don't mind either way. Look at that- I tried to grow mine like this, but they weren't tall enough. The way they fall over..." She pointed to vines spilling over the side of a high railing; the stairs to the front of a building reached high up and made like West Side Story, looking over the street with Spanish romance; the effect was dramatic, anyway, looked like vines in Italy, white flowers along the green.

The only one who seemed to suffer the heat was him, and he looked at the sun with a squinting disdain. "It's work," he noted, touching a vine.

"Yeah. High-maintenance. But it's pretty. When the outside of the house looks sloppy it's embarrassing," she meandered, watching carefully the cars that hummed by lazy. Her eyes darted to him; well, she was talking for her benefit, to keep herself from thinking.

The place was next to a laundromat and a music store, sandwiched between, brown bricks looking like clay. You could see the inside from out because of the high ground-level windows. There were tables here and there, dropped down from the ceiling and scrambling at random; the counter opposite the door. They walked in and ate.

He didn't eat much, just sat, looking at things. She was being paranoid- her senses rushed whenever he ventured to speak; she was expecting something that wasn't good, prepared for the worse- the floodgate opening when the bells sounded. She held herself up like a cat, ready to take it.

"Kohaku," he started, slowly, taking a drink, looking out the window. "He's off today?"

A shockwave hit her and went on high alert, red flags were waving in the hurricane wind. What a tone- direct, no skirting around; he hadn't even tried to be casual about it. He wasn't hiding anything, and that was the problem- he was making an argument; he was trying to break something down. "Uhmm, no," she answered, her eyes quickly on him, but trying to busy herself with other things; she looked out the window, saw a brown car drive, looked to the floor, saw ants rushing. Looked at him, saw nothing.

His silence was encouraging. "No, he always has work on weekdays," she said. She felt like she was handing him information- like he was asking for a _reason_. Worst of all she knew she was right.

"What hours?" he asked, politely.

"Nine to nine, usually," she answered. For a minute they had direct eye contact. She could tell what he meant, and he gave it to her straight. "They had to lay off some people, or something like that...they needed extra help. It's a little more money..." She bit her lip, had to restrain herself from rolling them eyes. "But anyway, he took the hours."

He nodded. She wouldn't ask a stupid question like "why;" she knew _why_, but it wasn't...that big of a deal, or was it, didn't matter either way. She was too scattered to take care of it now. It wasn't that way, anyway. But then...his movements were a pain to her, his face like dragging coal...she couldn't have everything at once. But was it actually like that-

But she wasn't thinking so much, anyway. She wasn't conciously thinking of it. She was just riding a train; she was going along with something moving fast, she was only a passenger in this game. Every glance was like a shadow. "How long do you work?" she asked him.

He shrugged smally. "It depends."

"I think," she said, "He wants to be self-owned. He wants to get to where he wants to get...but for him, it's so much work...and he feels like he belongs to other people. Like he's not his own. So much of what he does is decided by everything else, and he doesn't get it." She said it like her tongue was free but she knew chains better and treaded on the lines of safety. He didn't look directly at her.

There was no pause, he just seemed to nod, or seemed to make a motion sort of like nodding. The sun was getting low already, the light was turning orange. For a split second she watched carefully for his reaction. "Are you finished?" he asked.

She was about to say something, but then all she said was, "Yeah, wanna go?" and she said it with a flashing smile, warm eyes his way. She threw away what was on the table as he waited at the door. She saw him and sparked; her conciousness was complete, was at its peak. The way he leaned- the way his face turned to the side...

They went out the door. She noticed she had barely seen the inside of that place, looked again through the windows as they were passing; there were bricks on the inside (the wall was bare), and posters of baseball stars. And an old man read a paper at the counter with glasses, his long hair thinning, a wedding ring flashing and sparkling on his left hand...a U2 song had been playing back there. You could hear it from outside in faint speaker language.

"Rin," Sesshoumaru said, as they walked, looking at her with that same look that she loved- that masculine look, the way his bones angled and shuddered in her direction, the way his pale face changed.

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Kohaku is determined by others. It's his nature." Lightning crashed through her veins, and she felt melancholy. He looked her over as though he was saying something sweet. "You can do what you want." His electric eyes never left her, his mouth never once stumbled.

"Oh-" she nodded, "Do you have a cigarette?"

"Yes," he answered; he gave her one. Then he reached up and took a flower from a tree, looked at it, then he tossed it aside, one long boyish movement, so funny coming from him- what he'd left out was, "and you belong to me." He said this in his very being; he left it out, but it was obvious; something about him was saying something that she couldn't clearly understand but which in her body was lucid and unmistakable.

She couldn't say anything, anyway, what was there to say? How could you just respond to someone after that? There was no answer. It was clear facts he shot at her. She couldn't have an opinion about that- besides, what stupid answer would come out? "What do you mean," or "that's not true"? To be stupid wouldn't make any sense, it would be ridiculous to show Sesshoumaru that side. But if he'd come closer to her...but then her mind put this at a stop...but then she didn't feel like thinking at all, it was too much. It was so stupid. She'd die to have him. It was wrong. It was just instinct. Her mind couldn't manuveur away from it.

But nothing from Sesshoumaru. He didn't do anything that day, aside from what he said, which could have been taken a million different ways, could have led down fifteen crooked roads. Not too shabby. Did the other day mean anything? She knew what "do what you want" meant, but it had to go two ways.

"Sesshoumaru," she started to say, with difficulty, smoke streaming from her nose. He turned slightly towards her. "Can I go home?"

"If you want," he said, his tone shrugging at the words.

"Could ya walk me?" she asked carefully. He nodded. She threw her hair over one shoulder. "I don't know why, but I like the taste and smell. Smells alive to me; smells clean. But you know what people will tell you. All kinds of things, as though it's a moral issue. I don't think it is. It couldn't be, in my case. People will put their feelings into it, even if they haven't lost someone; a cause and involvement."

The swing in her walk was lovely and young; it was like warm weather. Something had overtaken her and turned from this dismal ugliness that surrounded her to something breezy. The wind had blown it away, she guessed. She finished and tossed the butt into the gutter, like him; then they came upon the house, and she was so tired, it was a welcome sight to weary legs and a burnt-out brain, that heavy sighing mind of hers. Would Sango be over today?...most likely not. What was it she had to do?...a thought struck her, but she couldn't remember...

As they neared the porch she turned to Sesshoumaru, big smile. "Thanks for taking me out," she grinned. "And for walking me home." He nodded. She reached up to hug him; he had almost a head on her. She put her arms around his neck. His hand touched her neck; ghostlike, skimming the skin, brushing off of it. There was no other movement on his part. But she felt an electric shock. She looked up at him, but like a river, he was already moving on. Such a clean touch, so cool and windy- pulsing with something underneath the surface. He was going already.

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She was sitting in the living room. Chicken in the oven, baking at 350. There were magazines on the table, neat stacked near the remote control. The T.V. was getting dusty but the radio spun in full action just a room away in the lofty kitchen.

Alone, quiet, Kohaku wasn't home and wouldn't be for maybe another hour. The phone rang, so in the midst of a hazy shaping thought she reached over the arm of the white couch to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Happy Anniversary!" someone cheerfully yelled at the other end. Oh, yeah- this Sunday would mark a whole year they'd been together. It didn't really sound that great. That was in...five days...

"Hello? Oh, thanks- Ayumi?" Rin asked, marking her page.

"Of course! So, how are you two doing?" Ayumi asked; her tone was motherly, gentle, like always. She had the most tact of the three.

"Uhmm, fine, but he's not home yet," Rin answered, shifting the receiver to the other shoulder side. Ayumi's voice sounded whole states away.

"Aww, he works so late," Ayumi hummed. "So, what's up, have any plans for your anniversary?"

"Plans? Not really," Rin answered.

"I was _thinking_ I could take you guys out, then," Ayumi answered, cheerfully. "Just to a little club I found. Eri and Yuka can't make it, but I've been searching around all week for all your friends from high school- Katherine, Jun, Raebecca."

Katherine, Jun, Raebecca- ancient names, covered in dust and remembered with mist- remembered with strange perpceptions of who was what, what did who, and why. Real vague. She hadn't seen them in a while, some more recently just by running into them. "What about Kohaku's friends?"

"Oh, you know, boys don't make friends, really," Ayumi answered sweetly, "More like companions. They're no fun anyway. I'll invite Shippou though."

"Oh yeah," Rin nodded. "Where is it?" She looked out the window. Kohaku would be on his way home; down the hot ribbon highway he'd be turning on the bridge, and then home. Dinner'd be ready. Something about it seemed far off and forgotten. Nothing was as vivid as his touch; his touch, or the cloud of memories that seemed a shroud, seemed like smoke in the sky, amassing and expanding. The collection of thoughts was like books on a shelf. Was like empty boxes.

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_A/N_: Thanks for reading- next chapter up like 1-2-3, snap of fingers and laminate flash!


	8. Golden Tubes Faintly Glow

_A/N_: This is a real short chapter, but that's mostly 'cause there was a point I was tryina get across, could only get across in a short way.

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_Chapter Eight_: Golden Tubes Faintly Glow

Kohaku came home and it was like a rush of awful shame washed over her from top to bottom, rushed over and became horrible embarrassement for her. He came through the door quietly, while she was tossing utensils on the table. His jacket was on; he looked silent, hurt, frail, like a wounded animal. She looked in his face but couldn't look long.

"Dinner's ready," she said, out of the side of her mouth.

"Cool. What is it?" he asked, shrugging his jacket off and moving to the closet to put it away.

"Chicken and broccoli," Rin answered, putting out two plates, and thinking about straightening out the papers on the table.

"Yuck. Chinese?"

"No, I made it," she said, pushing her hair back, "It just sounds funny."

"Oh, okay. Oh yeah, lemme get the mail," Kohaku answered, starting quickly to the door when he saw the papers on the table.

Rin looked toward him and her hair fell forward. "You can go get clean while I get it," she offered, finishing up the settings. Everything in place. She hated to be in two mindframes at once. It happened a lot; to be thinking of one thing impeded while she was doing another- so that abstract time conflicted with real time, brain slowed down by a thousand years. It was getting dark outside, and the fall wind was picking up.

"You sure? Okay," Kohaku conceded, then he went with his awkward grace out of sight, into the darkened living room. Rin got out to get the mail, looked through it with delicacy before putting it in the stack on the dining table.

Kohaku came out in his yoga pants, sans shirt, wearing his necklace...he looked something awful, so skinny. She looked over his face; under his eyes the space was dark and purple, and you could see the bones of his cheeks. He had always been like that- raw in the face, angled, pale- but he looked tired, especially. He didn't even have the energy to complain. "Hey," he said, as she smiled at him. He sat down aloofly at the head of the table.

She put his plate down in front of him. "Thanks," he answered.

She smiled at him; the smile fell weak and sleepily. She looked at him as she sat down. "Oh, Ayumi wants to take us out for our anniversary."

"Huh? For what?" Kohaku answered, his tone brash. She couldn't help but really smile at his attitude, that balking rudeness that gave him such a fire.

"I guess just to take us out," she shrugged, her eyes dropping down to the table. To him, Rin was perfect- she was right on the money, but she was more than that, she was full to the brim and she filled him with everything he needed. The dropping of her eyes, the way her hair fell...the smiling mouth, small windy movements. He couldn't make her notice, but that was how he felt for her. He didn't notice any change though. "She's inviting some people."

He snorted. "Why doesn't she just have a street fair," he scoffed. But his tone got serious. "Did she really do that already?"

"Yep," Rin nodded.

"Crap," he answered. His mouth widened and he smiled; laughed that hoarse, gentle laugh of his. His cracking voice..."That blows. I guess we gotta go...well, if she's paying, I guess it's okay."

Rin nodded. She took a glance out the window at the swelling darkness. There was nothing outside, nothing to look at, anyway. "I would've wanted to spend it alone, anyway," Kohaku continued, like a confession.

Rin nodded again. "I can make dinner," she offered.

"Shit, you do that already- I'd try to make it, but I'm all thumbs," he answered, holding up his hands to show the bandaids, the new cuts, the burn marks, the odd crooked way his fingers ran. He looked like an amateur boxer, with his pale rugged face, his bandaged hands, that low-down favela way he moved. "We coulda just ordered in...hey, you got something from your sister," he commented, and reached over to pull out a big envelope. The handwriting on the back was straight, strong, bold.

Rin wondered where Kagome was and nodded. Still in the desert- its low-sky heat, the road always on the horizon...Rin looked it over, the light surrounding it, then put it aside.

"I'd invite Sango," his voice continued idylly, "but I hate her." Rin laughed. He gestured pointedly with his fork, waving it like a wand. "Besides, she should go out and do some stuff on her own, now that's she's okay."

Rin nodded. "Okay," she said distractedly, looking around the room; all empty, except for them.

Kohaku ambled. Rin was thinking about something; she couldn't remember what, but she knew her mind was on something. It wasn't on something so much as it was trying to shift away. She couldn't have done anything to Kohaku. Oh, but she did. Her mind was reeling around, decoding the structure of things, had to find out the shapes and the character; decode a path, if two roads were really real- if the yes-no divergence was true at all. A steady drizzle was making rythms against the house, trickled softly down.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It was getting colder. A small wind chilled her skin. The radio was on in the kitchen, but for now, it was just spitting out commercials.

The phone rang- thin tinny skeleton sounds echoing in the white halls- and Rin went to pick it up. Half stumbled, kneeling on the couch and leaned across the table to reach the receiver. "Hello?" she said into it, her hair brushing over her face and a long train of thought blowing silver steam behind her.

"Hello," came Sesshoumaru's level voice, obscured in machine blue.

"Hi Sesshoumaru," she said, keeping her voice markedly casual...she looked at her nails, at the ceiling...no response. "What's up?"

"I'm coming over in ten minutes."

"You are?" she asked with a grin, tone of a tease, lapping it up. "I'll be ready," she agreed, signed the contract. She folded her legs under her.

"Alright. Goodbye," he said.

"Bye," she answered, and pressed the phone down. She got up and went into the bedroom to see what she could wear. She hadn't even thought twice; her mind recognized this dimly, a lighter flickering low.

Sesshoumaru's car swung in; cool and low-down. She closed the blinds and went down the stairs. In the core of her there was something she was questioning; but her head said forget it, and she left the worry there. The lock on the door popped up and she got in.

"Hi," she said, with a smile, far away from him in the green light from the street as she slid into the passenger seat. There were doubtful shady pools in the car, but no hints.

The night was shadowy, but at the end of the tunnel, there was a neon light flashing strong and bright. Rin looked at Sesshoumaru and smiled. "It's a nice night," she said, with the miles of dewy rain behind her.

Sesshoumaru's eyes held steadily in front of him. His mouth was cool and lax. "It's been raining," he commented.

"Yeah," she answered, looking out the window to the waxing moon, bright and white as a lamp in pale winter through the solid rain, the soft pulling humidity, "It's been okay though. Not a torrential downpour, or anything." She scratched her purse handle.

"The road has been slick," he answered. His voice glided in and out of range as she watched out of the windshield. They got on the wide commercial street...she wondered where they were going, but it would be too easy to ask now. Something about him...

"That's true." She hadn't really looked at him since she got in the car; highway lights glowed on the bones of his face, but there was a steady look in his eyes that was different from the fragile pale of his skin. There was something close about him. She felt like he had created this thing in the air, that made their bones closer, that made her feel like she could touch him and he'd be tangible, and as real and shocking as electricity through a copper wire- not ethereal or spun-up. But it was a quiet croon in the undervoice, a throbbing note that was cautionary. She didn't like it.

But what could she do. She sat by, hanging out, waiting for something to happen. Next to her hands, black lace; on her left, king of gold. The car bumped and shimmied over faulty pavement, and then slid off to the left, exiting near a grove of pine trees that swayed like liquid near the tar...

Sesshoumaru pulled the car over and got out. He wasn't in a talking mood today; he seemed very close, but he seemed to be wanting for something- maybe comfort, although the square-shouldered look on his face wasn't really compatible with that. She stepped out. The night was on a heavy perfumed swing, it swung back and forth almost like a pendulum, sprinkling its dust all over. The streets were quiet- but there was a buzz from underneath, carried in the slow cabrones and hooded kids who sauntered along the late sidewalk.

Oh- this street had only been a walk away before- this was the coffeeshop street, and the thought made her bubble happily. Sesshoumaru lit a cigarette and they walked it. "Wow- it is a nice night," Rin said, feeling the small weight of thick air and the coolness of the breeze together.

"It'll rain soon," Sesshoumaru answered.

Rin laughed, shadows, flickers in the night room. "How can you tell?"

"It smells like it," he said, blowing smoke out his nose- silver bull, dark blood on water...

She nodded. "Yeah, it does."

The lights were on in the cafe. She wondered at its pink mystery. "It's still open?" she asked.

"For them," he answered, nodding toward a vulture who loped toward the open door, a droopy, soggy cigarette bitten between his dry lips. A red-eyed clown was behind him, sick with feeling inferior. Then a girl, with her hair tied up, blue eye shadow and dark red lipstick, looking like as caricature, a freak reflection, looking like she'd lost something and she had put her hopes on it. Almost-late-night crowd. Rin laughed. "They have a reservation."

Sesshoumaru stayed behind to order and pay while she got a table. A Spanish family sat in the corner, the red-eyed father and his children laughing while the mother was silently smiling. A group of high-tone people were there, their purple and their smiles were like violins and lavendar. The Reservation People put together two small tables so they could sit, and a blonde girl with a crucifix in her hand walked by with a young Turk, strong coffee in their gazes. Nobody knew anybody, but a cheerful buzz was in the electric lights hanging above. There was friendliness, but there was lonesomeness, too. Rin felt melancholy. She sat there and wondered what she was doing here- wondered how stupid she was- and the Jewish violinist came back in to play. He had been outside, looking at the moon. She had just been resting her head against her hand, trying to pull apart the pieces to this dusty puzzle.

Sesshoumaru came to the table- light between the spaces, his valor, strength, and color threw themselves between Rin and staring anonymous, and she was grateful for him. She looked colorlessly at him, and his eyes surveyed her quietly, but with that certain kindness he had about her. Was there any turning now, and more decisions to be made...?

He looked tired, though. She didn't say anything about it. "This is good," she said, exhaling a melody that blew up into the air with the swinging violin. "It tastes like today...dark coffee. I like it better."

Sesshoumaru nodded, but he didn't say anything; poor weary, seemed tired, seemed worn-out- but you couldn't see that clearly. It was in the way he held his head, that gentle way he looked around him. But he lifted up his head and his eyes flashed over, a gold lava gleaming over them, washing away his tiredness with a challenging spark. Rin's eyes were loving, but cautious, an iron veil was pulled across them tight.

He sat coolly, looking over the crowd like you'd look over a magazine. Still this achey feeling washed upon her. "I like this place," she said, her tone smoky. There was something important in that tone- she was saying more than she meant to, again, as on the steps that day- Sesshoumaru's eyes flicked calmly up like perfect cat boredom. She looked around- that calamity of baseness was all around.

"I'm not really a good kinda person anyway," she said; she was young and cinnamon, turned the cup warm in her hands- the high stealing, romantic notes churned and crashed into the steel moon, and Sesshoumaru was looking at her...she didn't look back, didn't feel really any need to. "I like places like this- I don't like to have a face in a crowd."

She knew that it wasn't his way to talk- that it wasn't his way to negate feelings and meaning with worthless garbage that made the air tight and barely breatheable. In all of this, she only had one safe home, she knew that, at least. It wasn't a matter of anything big- maybe it was just the company.

He didn't even breath an implication- was laying, surveying in wait, to see what he should judge. The warmth spread into her eyes, and for the first time that night she felt the long black feeling of staring into an abyss. "I used to hang around these places- seem to like the anonymous," she said, still turning her cup. Nearby the gypsy violin scratched some wild sad chord, and the nearby masks were turning on their masters. The paper lights were crinkling in warm colors. She paused, and let out a laugh, shrugged it off easy. "I don't know," she said, with an uneasy look in her eyes.

Faces were mocking in the wide expanse of the darkness although the rain outside was soft; shapes were hollowing out into neon space. It seemed like all the light was sucked in by the rafters, and it only left the tenderness in its wake. Rin felt like she had reached one last stop sign- felt like she had been told to go back without a map. She let out an exhalation that felt like tears and sounded like rain.

Then she turned her eyes up, felt a drumming in her ears that was like a premonition, and looked at Sesshoumaru to see in him what was her fate. She made a movement like gasping back to see the way he was looking at her, a quick, startled movement- with a shadow of red light casting its reaper hand along his face like sweetness, and a white light pouring down on him from the left...his eyes were not lost, but rather just had no home, and didn't want one; but he was looking over her with something deathlike that seemed to reach out to her with tenderness, and the look washed her clean and warm. In the quiet thunder of his stare, something cracked and bore into her.

The lantern light spun over him, looked like it was embracing him at his permission. He took his cup in a measured motion, his eyes level, his face breezed and cooled off. She hung on a nail, scratched at the surface, wondered what he would say next: there was a small movement that reached out to her and echoed the rain. "This isn't your lot," he answered simply.

The answer rang bells in the distance of memory- long-off and chord copper sounding. The warmth of his voice, his body, echoed into her mind; she looked up at him and nodded through steam- with the shadow of a smile. "I guess you're right," she said, and by the latching of their eyes together (like an electric key), she learned how things were going to be.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thunder like mist over the pavement, blowing onto the scene that seemed to stand still under the pooling of lights. The moisture in the air made a white powder glow over the street as they walked back to the air...clowns, Venetian tragedy, dying back all around them against a background of urban brick.

His body was slim and shadowy looking, and electricity was thrown off into her nerves- though she didn't know exactly where it was coming from, the masses or the king. Anyway the high gloom was playing all around, rising pink emotions...

The car was still at nighttime- coiled for action. Darkness closed in; she stopped on the sidewalk as a small rain sang down from the night sky, watching him as he moved like smoke over the tar, beginning toward the car.

The doors clicked open with a small beep; the lights flashed on then off. Sesshoumaru went to open a door, but noticing she was still on the sidewalk, he turned, and looked at her without expression.

"Sessho-" she began, then turned her eyes up to him.

He moved forward in a catlike motion that burnt away doubt as though it were irrelevent; some ganja kids made a catcalling noise. The look in his eyes stilled abruptly- water touched by the cold, frozen across. Stationary heartstrings pulled with life, nerve drums sped down and bulked up as he moved near to her. Those eyes were cold but his face was soft and like light; even in the presence of all these faceless players, his pulse was atomic radiant. The space between crowded and turned into warmth and their eyes were just met with a cosmic conception that only knew the sidewalk and that life was hard.

He, quick and light, as pervading as air but warm to her, moved and raised the dead. She was caught stifling in his kiss, light and effervescent travelling from her nerves to her brain. There was a feeling, quiet and dark, that sat nagging at the pit of her stomach, but the feeling of the kiss negated it, pushed it aside as though it was the ragged orphan at the midnight door. The midnight door- all the talk, all the looks; her eyes met his as the neon flashed by in the slickness of the street, and she felt the tearing feeling of the storm in her veins. Her mind was double Rolex and it was switching lanes fast, straight down the line and into the shadowed darkness.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

So there were no questions, no doubts in the quickness of the lightning air that skimmed the tops of trees as it bullied along. There was only rain now, rain and silence dying as the leaves were falling on the ground. Every step in this house felt like a choke to her. Every turning moment, every movement without thought, hit her like the dark coming on, blindfold on a horse. But there was something worse, something hidden in the corners of her chest...

A sigh felt like a punch in the ribs, and she fixed her mind on other matters. It was bright out now, that clear autumn crispness in the white wind. "Fuck," Kohaku whined, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he had a headache too long to stand. "This is gonna blow."

She smiled disconsertedly- smiled out of a dream. He threw a glance back at her, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. "Who's coming to this thing, anyway?"

"Oh,- a lotta my high school friends, I guess," she answered, with a small shrug. "Shippou, too."

"Shippou? That's kind of awesome," he mused, leaning forward; then the quirk of electricity came into the corner of his eye, and he smiled wolfishly. "Though, your high school friends sucked."

She laughed like a concession; threw the black light off her eyes- could pretend, sure, that was possible. "It's gonna be awkward," she said, like the thought was still under construction. "The last time I saw any of them was...a couple months ago, at that party..."

Kohaku paused; "Should I invite Sango?" he asked, eyes serious. "-It's just gonna be really weird if there's like .2 people there. I mean, like, why have a stupid 'get-together' just 'cause it's been a year? That's so stupid."

"Sure, that should be fine," she reasoned, with a small nod. "It'll probably be more fun with more people anyway."

He shook the subscription cards out of the magazine he was holding; smiled at her simple logic, her child's mouth. Looked at her with that measured look in his eyes. "You invite somebody too, then. It'll teach Ayumi to throw us parties."

Rin gave a laugh, momentarily forgot about this gradual forgetting; leaned against the window and looked out onto autumn. For a brief blink of time it seemed to still-

"Oh yeah," Kohaku said from the couch, as if spun off from a memory, "The last time we saw that girl Jun- remember? We were out fuckin' shopping and she goes, 'You're still _together_?' Like it was a question!"

The words fell like soft poison on her shoulders; he didn't realize the darkness in them, but it seemed to swell inside her brain- seemed to create this dark-hued pain. So what was empty- what did electricity mean?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

_A/N_: Thanks for reading! Stick around!


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